


For All That We Have Lost Again

by JamieisClassic



Category: Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anduin is older than in canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brooding, Canon-Typical Violence, Capital R Romance, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Political Intrigue, Slow Burn, Substance Abuse, animal owner shenanigans, eventually, rating is for the future not for current content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:54:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 79,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21619447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamieisClassic/pseuds/JamieisClassic
Summary: After the Banshee Queen fails to rendezvous with him in the Ghostlands, Nathanos flees. Eventually captured by the Horde and put on trial, he is saved from execution by an unexpected ally in the form of the Alliance's High King. Suddenly finding himself thrust into the goings-on of Stormwind and Anduin's personal life, what happens when Anduin's near-constant attention and affection start affecting Nathanos in a way he didn't expect, and how will he react if (when) the Banshee Queen eventually orders him home?
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Nathanos Blightcaller/Anduin Wrynn, Nathanos Blightcaller/Mathias Shaw, Nathanos Blightcaller/Mathias Shaw/Anduin Wrynn
Comments: 58
Kudos: 94





	1. Watch Me Drown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have edited this, but I'm impatient, tired, a little drunk, and have two jobs back to back tomorrow so I'm making the executive decision to just live with my mistakes (both grammatical and general) instead of fixing them. Hope it's still comprehensible.

“You are  _ all _ nothing!” and with a sudden gust of dark magic, Saurfang was dead. 

Nathanos knew how to take a cue, quickly retreating from his position on the battlements and activating the hearthstone Sylvanas had given him just in case. The change of scenery was swift and he was certain that if he’d had blood enough in his body to feel it, the drop in temperature from Durotar to the Ghostlands would have been a shock. As it were, however, he simply adjusted his coat and quickly found the path toward Windrunner Spire. It had been years since he had been in the area, but for all that the forests changed, the skies stayed the same, and he knew very well how to find his way in these woods with or without a compass. 

The trek to the Spire was longer than he’d originally estimated, and ended up taking him the better part of a few hours. Nonetheless, he arrived no worse for wear, woods being blessedly silent -- not that anything here could have posed a threat to someone of his skill, he simply was glad to not have been bothered -- and he crept up the spiraling ramps to the previous chambers that Sylvanas had once occupied. She would be able to sense his presence, he knew, and would reveal herself once she was sure he was alone and unfollowed. 

_ “The Alliance and the traitors come for me today, my Champion,” She had said to him that morning in the private of their chambers, “We will win if they fight us directly, this city is well able to withstand an assault from such pitiful forces, but if they’re smart, they won’t. I don’t need these pathetic creatures anymore, you know that as well as I do, so if it appears that my position here will shift even slightly in their favor I have no reason to remain and entertain this irritating farce any longer.” _

_ She reached into a pocket in her cloak and retrieved a cracked hearthstone, placing it in Nathanos’s hands, “Take this, activate it if our defeat appears imminent and meet with me and the other Dark Rangers at Windrunner Spire. Lenara has been instructed to guide any who remain faithful to the rightful Warcheif to do the same. There is much in store for us, my Champion, and I need you by my side if we are to succeed.” _

_ Nathanos took the hearthstone and hid it away in his coat, then caught her hand and bowed to kiss it, “As my Queen commands. Though, I am sure you would be just fine without me, Dark Lady.”  _

_ She breathed the shadow of a laugh as she turned her hand to caress his cheek, “Yes, Nathanos, I’m sure I would be.” _

He crested the top of the stairs to her room and entered the dust-and-dirt scattered room. The whole building was in tatters, but something about seeing the space in particular in such a state brought a foreign ache to his chest, as if visually reminded of what had become of he and the woman who he had cared so deeply for before most of his emotions were stripped away by undeath. Positioning himself to the side of the entrance, and away from the sight of anyone outside looking into the windows, Nathanos waited for Sylvanas to reveal herself. 

Nothing. An hour passed, then two, then five, and still there was no sign of her presence. The soft rustle of wind through the trees, and gentle crash of waves off the nearby shores, was all he heard for numerous hours simply standing and waiting on her orders, waiting for her to meet him as she had promised, to no avail. Five hours slowly turned to twelve before he finally filled his lungs with the early afternoon air, thick with the smell of cold leaves and ocean brine, and heaved a sigh. If she hadn't yet arrived, she likely never would. Somehow something must have gone wrong, and Nathanos knew well enough that while she could find him no matter where he went, few others could do the same.

Readjusting the bow across his back, he rose from his position leaning against the wall and made his way back down to the frosty earth. The late autumn air was crisp even in the height of the sun, and for some reason he couldn’t pinpoint he found himself filling his lungs with it once again simply to enjoy the way it felt to breathe even though he didn’t need to.  _ Strange,  _ he thought to himself,  _ I should stop this foolishness before I find her, she never did take kindly to my signs of worry. _

And it was true, even when they were alive she had harried him for worrying about her, asking him if he thought her weak, or wondering whether he thought he knew better than she the dangers she faced. Yet, why it was in this moment that he felt that need to breath deep of the cool forest air to clear his head, he was unsure. The seed of worry that normally such a breath would chase out of his chest was absent, and instead his breaths felt almost, strangely, like freedom. 

He shook himself from his thoughts and melded into the shadows of the forest as best he could considering the time of day. Thankfully for him, the Ghostlands was shrouded at even the brightest time in a certain gloom, and the quick silence with which he moved made it all the easier to disappear into the woods surrounding the spire. He moved for some time, until the sun met the horizon and dipped below it, until he found a small, abandoned burrow, probably used by some over-sized mammal as a home before it’s death. Hunkering down inside, Nathanos took the bow from his back and readied himself just in case he was approached by a suspicious hunter or Farstrider, and settled in to wait. 

Quickly, boredom became a gnawing pain in the back of his mind and the more days passed, the louder and more persistent it grew. Not needing to sleep or eat, he could stay in his current hideaway for as long as it served to keep him hidden, but after four days he almost wished for the inaneness of hunger just so that he would have something to  _ do.  _ He also fucking missed his dog.

When Sylvanas had told him to meet her, he had presumed that one of the other Dark Rangers would bring the hounds with them, and thus hadn’t bothered to find Devastation before departing, but now, lying in a dirty burrow for what had been just about a week, he regretted being so careless. A voice strangely, and irritatingly, like his mother’s drifted from the depths of his memory, “You know what happens when you assume, Nathan?” 

He gave his head a sharp shake. This was not the time to be thinking of his life before, and yet he also found his mind drifting more and more to the time he had spent in this forest while he and it were still alive. His mind drifted to his childhood in Lordaeron, to the smell of wheat baking in the summer sun, to the way sunlight used to dance on Sylvanas’s hair, to the first time he held a bow and the absolute delight he had felt when he managed to hit his target on the first shot. With a deep sigh, Nathanos dragged himself out of the burrow and shook the dirt off his coat. Clearly, he had been in one place for too long and it was wearing on his general sanity, digging up emotions and memories he’d thought left behind with his old life. 

He left the forest behind, heading South to the Plaguelands, and after his strange melancholy nostalgia, elected to try and only stay in one place for a few days at most. The more he kept himself moving, the less likely his dreaded feelings were to return, and the last thing he needed was for Sylvanas to finally find him, and find he’d gone soft. 

This pattern continued for weeks, which slowly turned into months before something in the fates finally broke, some tension in the universe finally snapping like a leather band stretched too far, and Nathanos finally found himself suddenly much less alone than he had become accustomed to once again. 

She was far too good, and he had trained her far too well, for it to be the snap of a twig or the rustle of leaves beneath her feet to be what altered him to her presence. No, it was the simple knack he had for sensing the gaze of others and the sharp scent of her magic in the winter air that told him his fellow Dark Ranger Lenara had found him at last. He had never liked the woman, and she certainly had never liked him, but he couldn't help but feel some small whisper of pride in his chest that one he had helped train had so effectively tracked him. Said pride was quickly overshadowed by irritation; he was getting sloppy in his hiding, and the Dark Lady would be most unhappy if she was appraised to it. 

He doubted, however, that she would be, when he noticed the Farstriders hidden amongst the leaves behind Lenara. Damn, so Lenara was working with the traitor's Horde. The Farstrider Ranger Captain Natacha came out of the shadows beside Lenara, "Nathanos Blightcaller, you have been declared an enemy of the Horde and are being called to trial for crimes against Azeroth. Come willingly and face fair trial, resist and you will be slain."

_ Fair trial _ . Nathanos doubted it would be, not after the boy King had stood beside Saurfang and lent him his weapon, not after Saurfang's death, not after Teldrassil and Undercity fell to Sylvanas's hunger for war. He scanned the trees and brush around himself and counted, at most, ten or twelve Farstriders, and no gleaming red eyes of the Dark Rangers aside from Lenara. Fourteen enemies was not undoable, presuming they didn't send all their best in one search party, but the same way he had barely stopped himself from spending long hours of his solitude deep in recollection of his life before undeath, he could barely summon the will to growl at Lenara and show her his teeth like a cornered wolf. It was as if something in him had broken, pushed so far and stretched so tight it just gave like a bow strung too tight when drawn to fire. He had been ready to be his Queen's arrow, poisoned tip and deadly, but instead he was a warning shot that hadn't been fired, wasted, useless, and cast aside for something louder and brasher. Whatever her plans were, he was not being kept apprised, and without instruction he felt helpless in a way he hadn't since he was a teenager, wishing desperately for a future that was so far out of his reach. 

He distantly realized that Lenara had ordered two Farstriders forward to chain him, and even in his half-there state he thought he saw something smug and sly lurking behind her cold, red eyes, something that reminded him of a cat that got the canary. The thought made him shudder slightly, cats and birds were bad enough but both together? He needed to rethink his repertoire of idioms. 

The group marched through the Plaguelands for a time he didn't fully register except to notice that it was dark by the time they met up with another group that seemed more stationary. A camp, then, probably the base of operations of the search parties. There was some discussion in Thalassian between the Ranger Captain and a beautiful man is red and silver robes, but for all Nathanos spoke the language fluently it sounded like gibberish to his ears now. The man traced a sigil into the air in front of him, reciting something arcane, and a portal opened before him. Nathanos was guided through it into the blazing heat and light of a Durotar afternoon, immediately outside the Orgrimmar gates. 

He was lead through streets lined with people, all staring at him and shouting insults in various tongues. None went so far as to throw anything, for which he was a small modicum of grateful, but clearly whatever had transpired in the months he had been away, he was now the scapegoat for much of what had happened during the Fourth War. They ended up in some building with high ceilings and cool stone floors that he would likely have recognized were he of a mind to. As he was, though, all he really noticed was how many people were crammed inside, and the row of tall stools or chairs along one portion of the circular wall. The main Horde leadership sat, gazing at him with mixed expressions ranging from shrewd judgement to something surprisingly akin to disappointment, and he knew that for them all to be there on short notice meant they had been waiting in the capital for his capture. Whatever was about to happen, it was big. 

The rest of the room was filled with people all surrounding an empty central area that was clearly marked out, and a small podium was raised from the crowd across from the Council. He supposed the podium was for testimonies that would contribute to the trial, but he doubted anyone would speak in his defense and the Void knew they didn’t need anyone to corroborate against him. The crowd consisted of citizens of the Horde, though he could swear he’d seen a Draenei standing somewhere in the back, and Nathanos silently wondered whether Gallywix had decided to capitalize on how big this event would be and sell tickets like he had with the meeting called in Stormsong Valley when Baine had been arrested. Somehow, knowing the greedy Goblin man could be benefiting from his capture almost irked him more than being captured itself. Damn opportunist. 

The Farstriders lead him to the center of the chamber and pushed him to kneel, which he resisted admittedly less than he felt he probably should have, and Baine Bloodhoof stood to address him, “Nathanos Blightcaller, you have been brought before this council as an enemy to our people and to all of Azeroth. The ‘Queen’ you serve has deserted her position, a crime in and of itself, but her abuse of the absolute power of Warchief is also not permissible. As one party and likely privy to her crimes, we try you now for treason against the Horde, desertion, war crime, and conspiracy. How do you plead to these charges?”

Nathanos scoffed, “Does it matter how I plead, Bloodhoof? From where I’m standing--sorry,  _ kneeling-- _ there is no escape to you finding me guilty. What defense could I possibly have, anyhow? You know as well as I do that there is nothing she did that we did not  _ all _ allow to happen. But if you’re intent on killing me, then so be it.” 

Baine took a steadying breath, seeming displeased with Nathanos’s comment, “You wish to plead guilty then? You realize that in doing so you forego the standard proceedings and will be sent immediately to execution?”

“Yes, I am more than aware,” Nathanos chewed out, attempting as best he could to seem unphased by the idea of his final death when in reality a seed of dread had suddenly decided to sprout roots in his chest, “And yes, I plead guilty. Let’s get this over with.”

Baine sighed but nodded, returning to his seated position to allow Thrall to stand and speak, “Nathanos Blightcaller you are hereby sentenced to death for the crimes you have committed against the Horde. I would ask that any present who oppose this sentencing speak and defend their reason now.” 

Much to Nathanos’s surprise, he saw a figure move in the crowd of people and soon a very familiar, shorter-than-average young human man with blond hair and alarmingly blue eyes was standing upon the podium, facing both him and the Council. If Nathanos was being perfectly honest with himself, the calculation that the Alliance’s High King was looking at him with was both disturbing and impressive in equal measure. 

The High King’s voice rang resolute through the chamber, “Nathanos Blightcaller is an enemy of the Alliance, and, as champion to the Banshee Queen who deserted her position and abused her power, the Horde as well. Yet, before the Blightcaller, was Nathanos Marris, a stalwart defender of Lordaeron and the Alliance, and of their people. I would ask this court to see the departure of the Banshee Queen for the blessing that it is--not only has worked to rid you of a destructive and dishonorable leader, but also functioned to return to us a Champion that was lost. On behalf of the Alliance I speak: If you are to rise, Nathanos, rise as Ranger Lord Marris and find yourself welcomed into the arms of Stormwind as a hero of your people finally returned. Or, rise as the Blightcaller, enemy to both the Alliance and the Horde, and face whatever punishment this council, and it’s people, deem fit.” 

Not what he had expected, but enough to work with in bounds. “Nathanos Marris is dead. He died serving the Alliance. You simply expect me to stand up and take that mantle back as if it hasn’t been laid to rest? You are as arrogant as you are naive, little Lion.” 

“Calia Menethil was returned to us by the grace of the Light, and while you may not return to our ranks by such honorable means, a hero returned is always welcomed,” Anduin replied smoothly, seeming entirely unphased by Nathanos’s mockery. 

Nathanos simply growled at him, a rumble somewhere in his chest that only undeath could accomplish for a human man, and spat on the ground at his side. Damn that boy for even thinking to compare him to something so apparently holy, he’d have none of it. 

“Or, if you will,” Anduin continued, seeming strangely apprised to the cause of his reaction, “Through the intervention of Highlord Tirion Fordring, the Knights of the Ebon Blade were liberated from the will of the Lich King and reunited with those who had called them heroes before their deaths. They were welcomed back into the Alliance, and though perhaps that welcome was less hospitable than it should have been given all they lost fighting for our safety before they were cursed, you are a smart enough man to know that your welcome would be even less kind. I am assured that we both know this offer is dangerous for us both; that it threatens not only the fragile peace I have secured with this newly founded Horde Council but also the faith my people have in me as a ruler, as a King. Do not take this kindness for naivety, Nathanos, it is not such. There is a seed of good in every soul, but one cannot nurture a seed if it does not have living soil to grow in. I refuse to believe, for all you may attest it, that your soul is yet dead, or that you are beyond redemption.” 

“You speak of things you do not know, boy,” he grunted in reply, but, privately, he hated how similar though more extreme his case was when compared the the Death Knights. Both killed hundreds of innocents, both arguably did so out of their own will, even if someone else was pulling the real strings, and both became enemies of the Alliance after being abandoned by them. If you’d asked him three months ago, on that first night in the Ghostlands awaiting Sylvanas’s rendezvous, he would have thought the comparison insane, scoffed at the notion that his beloved Queen would treat her most loyal subjects as cruelly and coldly as the Lich King had. But it had been months,  _ months _ without word, and he was not by nature a patient man. 

And damn it all to the Void, the pure, if fairly well masked, smugness on Lenara’s face when she and the Ranger Captain had found him told him all he needed to know about finding allies within the ranks of the remaining Dark Rangers. Hell, she could be under orders from Sylvanas for all he knew, and his flight to the Ghostlands a ploy to make him look guilty. If so, it clearly worked. 

He heaved a sigh he didn’t need to breathe, and braced himself for his own words, realizing the boy was still waiting for his reply. “High King Wrynn, your offer is just, and I find myself in a position where to reject your proposal would mean death. For all I may seem indifferent, I do rather prefer living, or unliving as it were, and so I rise,” he stood from his kneeling position on the dusty stone floor, “as Nathanos Marris, once and hopefully again hero of the Alliance.” 

“‘ _ Hopefully again’ _ ?” a small almost-smirk tucked itself into the corner of Anduin’s mouth, “I suppose we will have to see about that. Thankfully, we will have time, if all goes well.” Anduin then turned and addressed the leadership that was in place to judge Nathanos, “Horde Council, I know my offer, and presence, comes as a surprise, and likely an unwelcome one. This man, Nathanos Blightcaller, was party to innumerable crimes that the Banshee Queen committed through abuse of her power as Warcheif, but so were many within the Horde. Your council has been formed because of her crimes, in order to avoid such abuses in the future, and as such, is it not right to understand how deeply that power ran? To understand, and forgive, such crimes as his? Or, if not to forgive, at least to allow him the chance to earn back the honor that was lost? 

“Our people have warred as long as I have lived, but war and death do not need to be our future as well. I wish for peace, and only for peace, but I know that this world is not so simple, and that forces beyond us, while they unite us, only ever do so when they so greatly threatened to destroy us. We united in the Third War, we united when the Legion brought its evil to our doorstep, but now there is no threat, there is no great evil we fight together. Now, we must make peace because it is  _ right _ , not because it is necessary; we must foster what the great threats of the past have fostered, but this time we must do so without such common enemies as the Legion or the Scourge. 

“It is in this spirit of peace that I request the return of Nathanos Marris to the Alliance, for good or for ill. If he is not redeemable, as you likely believe, then he will only do us harm, and removed from your borders will not harm you. If he is redeemable, then we all collectively regain a powerful ally, one who has in the past fought to protect all that we hold dear. There will come a time again when evil threatens our borders, and when that time comes, we will need every able hero, including this one. I simply ask you allow me to try and bring him home.”

Silence. 

After some time, a look was exchanged between Baine and Thrall, but surprisingly, it was Talanji who stood first, “Young King Wrynn, of those gathered here I have the most reason to despise your Alliance. The most reason, too, to despise this man before me, for it is his Queen that attempted to use my grief like a tool to foster a spirit of vengeance. And yet I know, were we to take it to a vote, those in favor of your request would outweigh my hesitance. Thus I simply say, what you have done to defeat this ‘Banshee Queen’ hurt both my people and myself personally, and the depths that you and your Alliance stooped to in war were cruel, but efficient. I mourn for my father, as do my people, but I understand that war calls for actions that are in peace unforgivable. 

“If it is some arrogant wish of yours to try to tame a viper, you are free to do so by my vote. But, be warned, this viper has venom enough to kill a continent, and if that death spreads anywhere close to my doors, it is your head I will be placing the blame, and consequences, upon, King Wrynn.” 

“I understand that, Queen Talanji. And I extend my most sincere condolences on the death of your father. The circumstances of his death are immensely regrettable, to put it lightly, and as someone who has recently lost his own, I can at the very least begin to understand the loss and grief you must feel. If I could change the past, I would, but as it is the most I can offer is my genuine wish for both the recovery and the strength of you and your Empire in the future, and the promise, however futile and shallow I am sure it feels in the shadow of such horrors, that the Alliance will not cause you such pain going forward,” Anduin replied, turning fully to address her, posture reeking of empathy and kindness Nathanos could never understand. 

The Queen simply gave a half-hearted bow in the young King’s direction before sitting down again, allowing Baine to rise in her place. The Tauren regarded Nathanos with a strange expression for a time before turning to Anduin, “King Wrynn, we have been friends for some time and while I don’t think your request to bring Blightcaller back into the ranks of the Alliance so out of character, I do question, why? Why go to all the trouble, both with this new Horde Council and with your own people, for one life, and an Undead one at that? Why go to such lengths to save someone the Light has forsaken?”

“Because  _ no one _ is truly forsaken by the Light, Baine, only by those who follow it. I truly believe that this man can become something good again, that he can return to the hero that he once was. I have been wrong before, and I may be wrong this time around as well, but the least I can do is try to find any good within him that remains. That he didn’t fight his captors to the death already speaks well of him, and I hope that, with time, more good may come. Even if not,” again that small smirk wormed its way into the corner of Anduin’s mouth, “At the very least it will be the Alliance suffering my misjudgments not the Horde. At the very least, you all will have clear consciences knowing I made this decision knowing what I was getting into bed with, and accepting the dangers regardless. At the  _ very least _ , he is my mistake now, and no one else's.” 

Anduin was staring right at him as he said those final two sentences and Nathanos felt some small thrill run up his spine that he quickly cast aside for suspicion. This man was being too benevolent for his taste, and he honestly couldn’t figure out why. Baine’s questions were valid, but so were Anduin’s answers, yet something wasn’t sitting right with Nathanos. 

The Council considered each other, each nodding to some unspoken agreement before Thrall stood as well, and spoke, “High King Wrynn of the Alliance, the Council of the Horde has agreed to grant you the prisoner Nathanos “Blightcaller” Marris to be handled as one of your own. You will be expected to try, or at the very least sentence him for his crimes, but how you choose to do so as High King is your decision. We now hand over authority over this prisoner to you and to the Alliance. May you have better luck with him than we have.” 

Nathanos cleared his throat, “If I might make one request of the Council as well?” He was given glares from most everyone in the room, but Thrall gave him a small nod and he continued, “I have been the Hound master for the Forsaken for quite some time, and since the destruction of the Undercity we lost many of our animals. My lead hound, Devastation, is currently here in Orgrimmar and I would greatly appreciate the privilege to take her with me to Stormwind, if it so pleases the council.”

He tried his best to sound genuine in his consideration for the Council, he really did, but Nathanos knew he wasn’t exactly good at lying, particularly at faking respect, so the unimpressed expressions he garnered from them were just about what he’d expected. Thrall once again nodded, after a brief glance at the other leaders and said, “I’m sure that could be arranged, Marris.” 

Thrall and Anduin exchanged bows and the room relaxed into what Nathanos assumed meant court adjourned. A pair of soldiers approached him, dragging him less-than-kindly toward the podium Anduin had stood on moments before and into the hands of the Draenei he had seen earlier and a few human soldiers too short to be noticed in the crowd. If Nathanos had been honest with himself, which he rarely was these days, he would have said he felt relieved. As it were, however, he simply settled for feeling annoyed at the smell of the Gilnean dogs who were escorting him through the crowd and toward a small group of mages. 

The High King had disappeared in the crowd, likely to speak with what friends he had within the Horde, Nathanos presumed, and as the soldiers escorted him closer to the mages who started weaving a portal Nathanos felt a small but quickly mounting anxiety toward being thrust not only into the heart of the Alliance, but also his old allegiances. 

Once the portal opened the mage who had cast it turned to address him directly, “Lord Marris, I understand that the High King has stepped away to ask after the key to your chains and your hound. I have been instructed to ask you to wait here while he concludes this business.” 

In reply, Nathanos simply nodded numbly and didn’t speak.  _ Marris.  _ When Wrynn had spoken it aloud, and even when Thrall had called him by it, it hadn’t felt that significant, but now that regular people were referring to him by it it seemed wrong. The small ache in his chest that had been growing since his memories of life before undeath resurfaced months ago was growing bigger and bigger and suddenly Nathanos found himself struggling to breathe.  _ You’re being absurd, _ the logical part of his mind reminded him,  _ You don’t need to breathe, you’re dead. _ This knowledge seemed to do nothing for the fact that his lungs were burning and his head was wobbling with everything that had happened over the last half hour. 

A soft clearing of the throat jolted him from his introspection, and he realized belatedly that he had been dissociating again. Turning to face the sound, Nathanos saw that Anduin was standing behind him, key in hand and Devastation sitting at his side. 

“Lord Marris, if you would allow me to unchain you?” he asked, and when Nathanos nodded he moved forward to do so, “I am sure this is all strange, but hopefully it is not  _ too _ unwelcome. I have asked that quarters for you be prepared within Stormwind Keep, and though in coming months I hope to be able to allow you to move more freely, I would ask for the time being that you remain there and do not leave the castle grounds unaccompanied. This is not because I do not trust you so much as because my guards and citizens do not, and after all we have suffered, I do not want to stress them more. Devastation is welcome wherever you roam within the castle and its grounds, and I have arranged a position for you training the castle guards when you feel settled enough to begin.

“If you feel prepared, shall we return home?” 

His phrasing made Nathanos once again feel like he couldn’t breathe, but he supposed it worked in his favor that he wasn’t known as a man of many words and a nod seemed to suffice for the young King. He stepped through the portal after Anduin and was greeted with the sight of what he presumed was the Stormwind Keep throne room, though he had never seen it in person before. The suffocating feeling in his lungs only grew as Anduin turned to smile at him, mouth moving with words Nathanos didn’t fully process, but the feeling of a cold, wet nose against the back of his hand, accompanied by her worried huff, helped center him. He moved his hand to pet over Deva’s head and scratch behind her ears lightly. 

“You said her name was Devastation, correct?” He finally heard Anduin’s words and looked up to meet his eyes.

“Yes, her name is Devastation.” Anduin gave him an odd smile then reached his hand out warily for her to sniff, “She won’t bite unless I tell her to, and seeing as I am currently in her debt I won’t ask her to. Yet.”

The young man simply laughed softly and ran his fingers through the coarse fur on her neck. “I doubt very much that you’ll believe me, Lord Marris, but I didn’t do or say any of what I did for the sake of saving your life. Not just for that, at least.” 

“If not for me then for whom? I would fancy a guess that more people in the Alliance want me dead that those in the Horde, and given what I saw earlier that seems like a lot of people,” Nathanos crossed his arms and leveled Anduin with a cocked eyebrow.

He didn’t even so much as look at him, continuing to hesitantly pet down Deva’s flank, seemingly unaware that she was not simply holding herself back from biting his hand off because of her master’s orders, but instead almost seemed to enjoy the King’s attention. “That remains to be seen, Nathanos,” Anduin replied cryptically, and Nathanos had to admit it was a small relief to hear his real name come from the King’s mouth this time around. “Unfortunately, I find myself exhausted after today's events and travels. If you will excuse me, I must retire for the evening. Should you need anything, Miss Keira here will be happy to assist you,” he motioned to a young woman across the room in what seemed to be maids’ clothing.

“Of course, my liege.” Nathanos replied almost automatically, and watched Anduin depart after giving one final scratch behind Deva’s ear. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work is to an extent inspired by Kaede's "Leave Out All the Rest" which is fantastic and you should read if you haven't already (which if you're here means you likely already have). Much of my characterization of Nathanos and other aspects of this work will be influenced heavily by that one, though not so much that it's directly 'inspired' but it, per se. Also, it's been years since I've written proper fictional prose so I'm so sorry for all of this mess, I'm used to academics.
> 
> I am doing my best to educate myself of the canon but like... it's a lot y'all and I'm finding it hard to care too much about it. Also, I'm sure these boys are massively out of character but hey, it's not like any of this shit would be possible in character anyway, so I'm not too worried. I've aged up Anduin by three years, which probably doesn't seem that significant but it works better for me to have him be 21 rather than 18 when this all takes place. I am also a registered Hot Gay Mess (tm) and very rarely manage to finish multi-chapter works so I'm very sorry in advance for if (when) I abandon this, I just couldn't help myself bc this pairing is all my weaknesses put together.


	2. A Dream that Once Was

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathanos breaks some rules, listens in on a conversation, meets a cat, and gets a mysterious (well, not really) note. Shaw is irritated, so he counts that as a success.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just trying to hold on  
> To a dream that once was  
> A ringing soft buzz  
> Trickle in through my window  
> And leaving with no cause  
> The absent melodies when you walked out that door  
> The white walls burst in, I couldn't feel any more  
> I wept a waterfall waiting for your return  
> By the time that you did  
> I dried up and I burned,  
> I burned  
> \- Maiah Manser, "Top of My Lungs"

Silence took the room after Anduin departed, as if whatever buffer of safety he had been providing to everyone involved was suddenly removed and, left to their own devices now, there was little more to do but grimace at Nathanos. Evidently, no one here liked him, but Nathanos was a smart enough man to have figured that out before he had arrived. His safety and well being were only guaranteed because--and for as long as--the King willed it. After a pregnant pause Keira stepped forward and addressed him in a thick Gilnean accent, “Lord Marris, if you’d want to be shown the grounds that can be arranged, otherwise perhaps you’d like to return to your chambers and rest as well? I ‘ave been told that, um, those like yourself ‘ave no need to eat, but if your ‘ound would like a meal I’m sure I could get Samson to put somethin’ together for ‘er.”

The girl was looking at him meekly, slim shoulders slumped and green eyes looking toward the floor, but something about her struck him as far more intelligent and experienced than she was presenting. It was probably her avoidance of claiming to know anything about his kind, softening it with ‘I’ve been told’ instead, and maybe the way her accent and posture didn't quite match up with the mostly-hidden arrow scar on the side of her neck, and the visible pattern of bruising on her hands that only came from punching things repeatedly. Whatever it was this woman was, she was definitely not a girl, as he’d first assumed, and also very likely not simply a maid. 

“Don’t bother, I’m sure she’ll survive. Plus, she likes to kill what she eats rather than eat from a bowl.” 

The young woman curtseyed, “Of course, Milord, you’d like to be seen to your room then?”

“Yeah, that would be fine.” Nathanos grumbled, a little irritated but mostly impressed that his subtle intimidation hadn’t even phased Keira. Whoever and whatever she was, she was made of stronger stuff that he’d expected and he could certainly respect that if nothing else. 

She curtseyed again and walked at a decent, if slow, pace to follow through the halls of the castle. It didn’t take long for them to reach a large oaken door that she gestured to, “Your new chamber, Milord. If you need anything please let myself or any of the other castle servants know.” 

He entered, bading the young woman farewell, and found himself in fairly simple quarters, all things considered. Not that he had expected something lavish, per se, but it was evident that Anduin knew he wasn’t going to be using the bed considering the age of the mattress when Nathanos prodded at it. Other than the bed there was a large desk and accompanying chair, a small bookshelf filled with books, and a nice rug. All in all, it was exactly what he needed and exactly what he hadn’t expected simultaneously. 

The room was nice enough, he supposed, but he’d been cooping himself up for months before finding himself briefly chained, and something restless and coiled made its presence known beneath his skin. Like an eyelash hidden behind the eyeball that finally wormed its way somewhere visible, he knew if he didn’t address this need to stretch his limbs and explore now, it would just continue to irritate him ad infinitum. 

He’d been asked to stay within the castle grounds for a time while the city adjusted to his presence, and while Nathanos saw the logic to the statement, knowing as well as anyone that a stray Undead in a Human city would probably not go over well, he really couldn’t bring himself to be cooped up again after so many months of hiding. Plus, he doubted the citizens of Stormwind could freak out over his presence if they never saw him to begin with, and he was rather good at staying hidden. 

Creeping out the castle and past the gate guards with ease, Nathanos quickly made for the brown shingled rooftops of wood and stone buildings just across the canal. Despite the lanterns that lined the streets the city was both dark and empty at this time of night, and as if one cue with that thought he heard a ringing, singular clock tower chime from somewhere not too far off within the city limits. The shadows of the roofs welcomed him easily as he slipped through the district, keeping his eyes and ears out for any signs of life. 

A soft sprinkle of fiddle music and laughter bled through the streets and Nathanos followed it like a hound to a scent until he came across a tavern, filled mostly with Dwarves and Gnomes, its warmly lit interior looking fairly emptied out from where he perched across the street. He hunkered down next to a chimney and simply watched for a time, observing how people interacted, the irritation of the bartender with the patrons who were too drunk to go home, and harried-looking woman that came through the door to drag another woman home after greeting her with a kiss, a young child that came from somewhere further in, probably a guest room, to ask the bartender for some sort of drink before scurrying back where they’d come from, and a pair of Gnomes that had been exuberantly discussing something marching out on unsteady footing toward some unknown-to-him destination. 

Growing bored, Nathanos moved on, looking for elsewhere in the city where there might be life to observe at this time. It was well past two in the morning, and though the Undercity had never slept, and Orgrimmar never truly once all the Undead were relocated there, Stormwind it seemed very much needed its rest, and like a great sleeping beast, Nathanos crept around it undetected. After a short while of searching, even with his keen ears and night-adjusted vision, he realized there wasn’t much to see at such a late hour, and descended to the streets to learn the city’s layout from the street-level. Keeping away from lantern light and street patrols was easy, especially when the city seemed at rest, relaxed in a way it had not been his last time here, and he found himself calmly wandering through the Cathedral district and into Lions Rest. 

The gardens were well tended with beautiful flowers and plants, arranged in rows to allow one the ability to talk among them peacefully. The amphitheater-like shape of the area was interesting to him, and he wandered closer to the central area at its front, only to realize as he approached that this wasn’t simply a monument to Varian Wrynn, but what could pass for a grave for a man that was turned to ash. The walls above the tomb effigy that was placed in the center of the ‘stage’ held the words of the Canticle of Sacrifice in Darnassian, and a small, dead part of his heart twinged at the loss of such a hero. 

He remembered hearing of his death, and watching Sylvanas feign indifference while silently mourning. She had never agreed with the man, but she had certainly respected him, and his passing had brought her sorrow Nathanos couldn’t quite fully understand. In retrospect, the sorrow she felt for Varian’s passing was just about the last real emotion she had shown, especially after everything that happened in Stormheim changed her. Nathanos gave a sharp jerk to his head and walked quickly away from the monument. The last thing he needed to do was think about what had happened between them there, and what had become of it.

Trying to slow his pace so as to not look so suspicious, Nathanos found his way back into the Dwarven district before stealthing his way back through the main castle gates and into the keep. He was almost disappointed by the lack of notice paid to him by any of the guards, questioning the safety of the King briefly as he reached his own newly appointed chamber door.

“Have a nice jaunt around town, Marris?” 

Nathanos froze with his hand on his door, the other quickly finding its way to the dagger on his hip, “I’m sure I don’t know what idiocy you’re spewing Shaw, I was simply observing the castle grounds.”

Stepping out of the shadows of the stone hallway, Mathias Shaw gave him an unimpressed look and snorted, “Sure you don’t, Marris. But,” he cocked his head and smirked just a little, “seems you care about the fact that you got caught. Your ego hurting? Or maybe you just don’t want the King to know you stepped out on your first night here?”

“You better damn forget anything you saw, Shaw,” Nathanos growled, rounding on him, “I have a plaguehound behind this door that can and will tear you to shreds on my order, so drop it.” 

“Touchy, touchy. Fine, I’ll leave it for now,” he made a placating gesture, stepping back toward the shadow he’d emerged from, “But be warned, Marris, you fuck up enough here and you’re head will be swiftly liberated from your shoulders, plaguehound that can shred me or no. We fought hard and lost much for this peace, the last thing I need is the King’s act of incomprehensible mercy to fuck it all up. We can’t handle another war. I can’t handle another war, so for the love of the Light don’t start one.” 

And with that he disappeared into nothing. Damn rogues, Nathanos thought, pushing his way into his room. Devastation had settled herself on the bed, which worked fine for him given that he didn’t sleep any longer, and when he did it was beneath the earth. 

Acting quietly so as to not disturb her sleeping form, he pulled the chair positioned in front of the desk out to sit in and retrieved a novel from his bag. Its was horribly written trash, he would admit, but the romance novel he resumed (re)reading also had its finer qualities, particularly that it managed to showcase the central heroine’s attraction to both her massive, buff orc bodyguard, who had her own soft edges when pushed to show them, and the cool but ultimately caring Nighborne magister who risked his life to save said heroine from danger. Drivel, but enjoyable nonetheless. 

When the earliest signs of dawn started to creep through the windows, Nathanos placed the novel back into his bag, having finally reached the start his favorite part--Natalia, the heroine, finds herself stranded in the wilderness with Gyalash, her orcish bodyguard, and cannot help but confess her attraction to the warrior woman--and figured he could save that section for what would be an uneventful following evening if Shaw had anything to do with it. 

Retrospectively, now that most of his irritation had faded, Nathanos could admit he was actually fairly surprised that Shaw wasn’t such a kiss-ass goody two-shoes to just go right to the King when he’d snuck out the night before. For that he supposed he was grateful, though for the now-almost-guaranteed constant supervision he would be under he was less so. Much less so. 

A knock on his door brought him out of his reverie and he crossed the room quickly. Opening the heady oaken door, he found Keira standing on the other side, uniform cleanly pressed and thick chestnut tied back into rows of braids along her scalp. She looked less put together, somehow, without her hair loose like it had been last night, as if by making an attempt at looking put together she revealed that she was trying. She tossed him a quick smile, revealing once again the small gap between her front teeth, “Sorry to disturb you, Milord, but King Wrynn ‘as requested your presence for ‘is mornin’ meal. I’ve been told to say you aren’t expected to eat, but he ‘as new to share and asked me to bring you along if you were awake.”

Nathanos almost thought he caught the hint of a laugh in those final words, and for all he had never been fond of Gilneans, he found himself warming to this woman’s wit despite himself. “I’m assuming you’re to accompany me?” 

“Yes, Milord. ‘Is Majesty also said you could bring your ‘ound if ya wished, said he could find ‘er something to eat.” Keira offered him a meek smile, bowing at the waist just a little. 

“Fine,” Nathanos grumbled, “I’ll follow you.” 

Keira curtseyed to him then turned and began to lead the way toward wherever it was Anduin took his breakfast. Nathanos motioned for Devastation to follow him, and the pair followed the young woman down a number of stone corridors he paid close attention to before reaching a door that was flanked by two guards. Said guards nodded at Keira, but regarded him warily, as they entered what Nathanos instantly knew must be the Kings private chambers. The room was large but simply decorated, a beautiful painting of a blonde woman holding an infant in her arms hanging on the wall over a small display case of an old tome and a few gems. There were artifacts of the Light all over the place, but what struck Nathanos really was the immense amount of books lining the walls on various shelves, so many in fact that he almost thought maybe this room was something of a library, except that he knew there was certainly an official library within the caste. Why Anduin had so many person books he supposed he would have to wonder for the time being. 

Upon hearing them enter, the young King had looked up from his meal and smiled brightly at the three of them, though the ginger human sitting next to him looked less than pleased, particularly at the sight of Devastation.

“Good morning King Wrynn, Mr. Shaw,” Nathanos bowed, the mocking air reasserting itself into the gesture without him much caring, “Might I inquire as to why you’ve summoned me at such an hour?”

Anduin smiled at him almost coyly, watching as he sat in the remaining of the three chairs at the small round table, “My greatest apologies for disturbing your sleep, Lord Marris. I’m sure such a comfortable mattress is a relief after the months you spent in the wilderness, but unfortunately I have need to speak with you before a guest of mine arrives, and she is set to do so shortly.” 

“Devastation has been quite enjoying the mattress, yes, I thank you,” Nathanos sneered, “I am more irate at being disturbed from my reading.”

He wasn’t, of course, he had been fully intending to put the novel down and peruse what few interesting things occurred within the castle during the day, but he figured it was better to err on the side of irritated instead of grateful. However, his irritation seemed only to amuse Anduin further, though he did see Shaw stiffen and took some small pleasure in that. If he couldn’t get under Anduin's skin, or at least not so much so that it was noticeable, he could satisfy himself with pissing off his spymaster. 

“Well, I am glad the little angel enjoyed the bed and I do apologize for disturbing you from your reading. Perhaps at a later time we could discuss this book that has been occupying your attention, whatever it is I am sure it’s fascinating and I do find myself quite the fan of literature of any kind,” Anduin motioned around the room as if to hammer home his point. “That all said, however, I must inform you that Lord Admiral Jaina Proudmoore will be arriving shortly and that it would be best for all involved if you could keep yourself out of sight until after I have received her in my office to discuss a few matters,” the King said. 

He picked a small piece of shaved beef off his place and offered it toward Deva who approached after Nathanos allowed her to, lapping at his fingers and gobbling up the meat with a subtle way of her tail. “What I have done in asking for you to be brought here, Nathanos,” Anduin continued, “Is franking precarious at best. If I go about hosting you in this city the wrong way, I might just lose the support of multiple members of the Alliance, especially after Tyrande is already furious with me for not supporting her campaign to retake Darkshore. Admiral Proudmoore is coming to aid me in my efforts, and while I am grateful for her aid, she has been known to harbor a grudge toward the Forsaken, especially after Derek. Having you present in any capacity might turn her mood for the worst, and seeing as she is the only stable ally I currently have, I cannot afford that. You understand why I ask you to stay hidden, no?”

“I will stay away from sight, but only because I pity you if you claim Jaina Proudmoore is the most stable person you have to rely on.” Nathanos replied, trying his best not to freeze as a small paw pressed against his knee. He looked down and noticed a sleek, black-furred cat propped on its back legs with it’s left front paw resting on his seated knee. He kept his voice level, asking as calmly as he could, “And why is there a cat in this room?” 

“Hm? Oh that’s just Bastet, she’s been mine for a few years now since I took her in from the street. She’s harmless, mostly. Just give her a little scratch behind the ear and she’ll curl up on your lap and purr.” Anduin wasn't even looking at him as he replied, focused on feeding more slivers of meat to Devastation. 

If he wasn’t so perturbed by the cat that seemed seconds away from launching itself into his lap he might have been impressed by how well Anduin was taking to Devastation, and vise versa, but as it was he was on the border of punting the little devil currently looking at him curiously from under the table across the room. Doubting that would go over well with the little King, Nathanos allowed a bit of his discomfort creep into his voice as he asked, “And if I’d prefer not to touch it?”

Finally looking up at him, Anduin frowned but said nothing. Sensing the stalemate in the room, apparently, Nathanos saw Mathias sigh and reach under the table to beckon Bastet over toward his lap instead with a scrap of fish. He wouldn’t ever admit it aloud, but in that moment Nathanos was immensely grateful for Mathias Shaw’s existence. The cat pushed away from Nathanos, heading over to the spymaster’s lap instead, and he felt himself relax again now that there wasn’t a small devil resting against his knee. 

He had been raised around barn cats but he’d never been comfortable around them, and since his arrival to Undeath most animals were wary of him at best anyway, but something about cats never sat quite right with him. He’d found himself drawn from boyhood toward the presence of dogs and the forests natural creatures; a raccoon he could handle, but a cat was a line he thankfully didn’t have to suffer today for the sake of a politeness he barely managed to uphold as it was. 

When Bastet jumped up into Mathias's lap, happily consuming the small portion of fish he’d been holding, Anduin simply stared at her for a short time before returning to feeding Deva little bits of meat, “I must admit Nathanos, for all that I have witnessed and heard said that Blighthounds are fearsome beasts unlike dogs in any manner I find Devastation here to be fairly agreeable. I don’t normally take so well to dogs, but she is rather well tempered, isn't she?” 

“She had the best trainer around, I assure you,” Nathanos, despite himself, couldn’t help but feel a little pleased at Anduin's nod of agreement, “Though that also means she’ll bite your hand off in an instant if I order it.” 

“I’m sure she would. Yet, I find myself fairly confident you are smart enough not to do something so stupid.” Anduin continued scratching behind Deva’s ears, “Little angel you found for yourself, Nathanos, it’s no wonder to me any longer why you threw the security of your well being into question to ask for her to be sent along with you.”

Nathanos simply snorted, “I spent years training her, and she is the last of a good line of hounds that were lost when Undercity was destroyed, you think I wouldn’t throw my own future into dubious security in order to ensure she was is good hands? You misunderstand the relationship I forge with my animals.” 

“I can only begin to imagine how close you are to such wonderful creatures.” Anduin nodded, smiling, “And when you give them such lovely collars...” Nathanos’s eyes strayed to the way the young man’s fingers slid over the sturdy leather and metal adorning Deva’s neck and completely unbidden his brain supplied a surprisingly arousing image of the young King himself wearing such an item. 

Thankfully for Nathanos, he was saved from speaking when such an image taunted him by a servant entering the room looking a little flustered. “My Liege, I am very sorry to interrupt your breakfast but Lord Admiral Proudmoore has arrived early and seems to have something she means to speak with you about immediately. Her elder brother is with her, and if I might recommend bringing a coat? She has frozen the war room almost entirely.” 

Anduin simply sighed and stood from the table, “Thank you for the warning, Minjae, I’ll be there in a moment.” 

The servant bowed and left to return to his other duties, and Anduin quickly went into another room before returning, coat in hand and signaling for Shaw to follow as he left without a word. This left Nathanos alone in his chambers except for Deva, the cat, and Keira, who was watching him subtlety as if trying to figure out what he would do given the situation without him knowing she was doing so. Nathanos heaved a sigh and stood, heading toward the door when Deva whined. He turned and saw her staring at the plate on the table where the beef Anduin had been spoiling her with was, and also at the cat that now stood over it, pawing at it. Nathanos sighed, damn cats.

\---

“I just don’t think you should be risking the peace we worked so hard for for that thing!” Jaina’s voice echoed down the hall as Nathanos approached the war room silently.

“He’s not a thing Jaina, he’s a man.” Anduin sounded much calmer, surprisingly so given that even from a dozen feet away from the door Nathanos could feel the chill of ice radiating from the room.

Jaina scoffed, “Man or no, with all he’s done and all he’s allowed there is no doubt that his allegiances lie with Sylvanas Windrunner, and her alone. I don’t care whether she has all but disappeared, there is no way she isn’t planning something, and whatever it is I have no doubt Blightcaller is at the very least appraised if not party to it. Nothing good came of that woman’s presence after the invasion of the Legion, why would the presence of her champion be any different? This is a ticking bomb Anduin, and the last thing I want, or the Alliance needs, is for you to be standing in the blast radius when he finally goes off.”

“I suppose you make a fair point,” Anduin conceded, “But, that doesn’t mean he should die. And seeing as I’m the only leader that isn’t seconds away from ordering his execution right now I don’t see what you expect me to do about it. Would it be preferable if he wasn’t here in Stormwind? Yes, it would be much more convenient if he was out of sight. But I can't just leave him to be hunted and killed like an animal, Jaina.” Nathanos heard the scrape of a chair and someone falling into it heavily, “This isn’t why I asked you here, though, Aunt Jaina. I was hoping we could discuss how reparations are going with the Horde council?”

“Oh don’t you ‘Aunt Jaina’ me and think I’ll drop this, Anduin,” she scolded, but Nathanos thought he heard a smile in those words. She paused, then sighed, “Very well, I suppose we can move on for now. This conversation isn’t over though.” 

“I know it’s not, you never were one to give up an argument you thought you could win.” Anduin replied teasingly and Nathanos heard a chuckle from a third party that, given the raspy quality of the voice, he assumed to be Derek Proudmoore. Jaina made a disapproving sound in response but didn't say anything; clearly, whatever conversation was happening in the room at the moment, it wasn't one that required words. 

Anduin’s voice was soft when he finally spoke again, “That bad?”

“Talanji has proved… difficult to negotiate with given my personal hand in the destruction of her city and the death of her father. I don’t blame her, not one bit, but it’s exhausting nonetheless to feel like I can’t make a single demand without feeling like my actions will be thrown in my face.” Jaina sounded tired, not just physically but emotionally, and Nathanos almost felt bad for her, knowing very well himself how shrewd a negotiator Talanji was. 

Derek spoke up for the first time, voice gentle somehow even in undeath, “While the Lord Admiral has been dealing with the faction leaders as a whole, I have been working on uniting smaller sections of the Alliance with the Horde. The Forsaken with my aid have been having discussions with Genn’s people, trying to understand how much we share and working past our history, and we’ve also worked on having Druids from Drustvar travel to Mulgore to share their unique perspective on nature and natural magic. It hasn’t gone perfectly, but there have been few major incidents. Well, aside from Genn almost ripping my head off when he first saw me, but that’s old news.”

“That does sound like Genn, yes. I’m glad to know at least one of us is making progress, Derek, and it’s good to see you well. I should have asked earlier but how have you been faring since I saw you last? Any improvement?”

“A little, yes,” Derek seemed to hesitate, “I’ll be honest, I was never a religious man in life, my people are more tied to the sea than to the Light, but at the very least I don’t feel like I will be turned into ash whenever I walk into a cathedral anymore, so I suppose that counts as improvement.” 

Anduin chuckled, “It certainly does, Derek. But Jaina, to return to what you were saying, do you think there is any reason to make a show of apology? I know that the Council had initially planned hosting a ceremony of remembrance for the lost of Teldrassil as a means of apology but Tyrande shot the idea down. Is there something you think you could do to appease Talanji?”

“Honestly, I doubt it. You know what it is to lose a father, as do I though my circumstances are slightly different, and I doubt there is much I could do, or try to do, that would ease her pain rather than make it worse. It doesn’t help, naturally, that since you took the Blightcaller back she doesn’t have a head to place her anger at Sylvanas on.”

“Lord Marris was given over to the Alliance by the Council’s decision, if she didn’t like it, she shouldn’t have agreed to it,” Anduin retorted.

“Don’t be a child, Anduin, you know as well as I do it’s not that simple. A Council takes a vote, and she would have been outvoted given how much Baine and Thrall respect you, and how much the other leaders respect them. Hells, Lor’themar probably just wanted to punish the man by sending him here and forcing him to train recruits or whatever it is you have planned for him.” Nathanos shivered at Jaina’s words. There was nothing, nothing worse than training recruits. “You didn’t think about that did you?” 

“You underestimate me, Jaina, I relied on that fact. I knew Talanji would never afford me anything if she was the one making the decision. I used the fact that I could rely on three of them for support to my advantage, and she conceded to them before they could even vote.” 

“And yet despite that manipulation you don’t seem to have a shred of remorse either for her or for me who has to deal with the fallout of her frustration. Are you sure you’re still the same boy who used to say that every life was a universe?” her tone was light, but Nathanos thought there might just be some genuine concern hiding behind the question.

“I…” Anduin paused, taking a deep breath, “A lot has happened Aunt Jaina. In fact, I’ve been meaning to ask, how is it working with Thrall again?” 

“I.. I mean… It-” 

“Are you blushing, sister?” Derek teased.

Jaina made a frustrated sound, “Stop trying to turn this discussion around, Anduin Wrynn. And if you’re going to throw ridiculous questions at me don’t think I can’t do the same,” she continued, “The fact that you saved Nathanos would have nothing at all to do with the fact that you totally have the hots for him, right?”

Anduin sputtered, “That is a baseless accusation at best. Nathanos Marris is an extremely talented Ranger and if anything happens to this world like the Cataclysm or the invasion of the Legion again we will need as many people of his skill as possible.” 

“Sounds like a convenient excuse but I’ll let it slide this time,” Jaina joked, having seemed to relax a little now that the attention had been removed from her own proclivities. “Anyhow, I think that probably concludes our discussion? If you don’t mind, I'd prefer to be home in time to have breakfast with my mother, she has been rather clingy since my return.”

“Of course, Lord Admiral, you’re both dismissed. Be well, Jaina. And I wish you luck, Derek.” 

Nathanos slipped away quickly, slinking along the shadowed halls to return to his assigned chambers, he ruminated on how that conversation had concluded. Thrall and Jaina? He supposed there was a history there, and even he could admit that they were both attractive people. But Thrall had a mate, and Jaina had recently been promoted to Lord Admiral, so he chalked it up to teasing based on an old but not necessarily dead crush. 

Jaina’s comment, however, wore on him a little more. The idea of Anduin of all people harboring a secret crush on his was almost humorous, but at the same time, a small part of him wanted it to be true. Anduin’s rejection of the idea had sounded too level, though, for Nathanos to really think Jaina had struck a nerve. It seemed far more likely that she was trying to find a dig where there wasn't one than actually playing off of something real. The young King had far better prospects than an undead defector, even one as skilled as he was, and even if he was interested, it wasn’t as if Nathanos had any reciprocation for those feelings, right? His mind strayed to the image it had conjured earlier of Anduin collared and chained for him and something that couldn’t possibly be his heart jumped in his chest. 

Oh well damn it all to the Void, he didn’t have the energy for this. Everything that had happened since Sylvanas’s failure to meet with him in the Ghostlands had been so strange that nothing made sense any longer. He finally reached his door and he let himself into his room, only to be confronted with even more irregularities. Deva was pacing around the room, looking tense and unhappy, and the scent of the place was off. Instead of smelling of humans and their weird food and perfumes, it smelled vaguely of dust and death, a scent he was both accustomed to and disturbed by given the context. Someone Undead was here, and recently. 

Quickly surveying the room, he noticed a small envelope on the desk that hadn’t been there when the left earlier. He approached it cautiously and, not seeing anything that was rigged to explode or something of the like, he picked it up and opened it. Inside was an arrowhead in the style he liked to use and a small scrap of parchment that held a simple drawing of a flower and the words “Loyalty or death” scrawled in Gutterspeech at the bottom. 

Brugmansia--deadly, paralytic, and painful as hell. Nathanos knew of the flower quite well. It was native to Stranglethorn and, from what he knew, couldn’t be gotten anywhere else. Well, he thought, it seems my queen has not abandoned me so much as I thought. A small smile wormed its way onto his lips before he froze as a new thought surfaced: this was not Sylvanas’s writing. He couldn’t recognize the hand even when he squinted at it, but the fact the she hadn’t written the note herself didn't sit right with him. Logically he knew she likely couldn’t have gotten a handwritten note to him from wherever it was she was hiding, but nonetheless it didn’t feel right for her to have a messenger write and leave him a note like this. 

And even if it was from her, why should he care? The last time he’d followed her orders it had nearly gotten him killed, and it had gotten him stuck in this damned human city by some strange, cursed grace. Nathanos sighed and sat heavily in the desk chair, ruminating on how strange Sylvanas’s behavior had been the months leading up to Teldrassil, and even before that in Stormheim when she’d returned to camp after her altercation with Greymane angry as a chained and feral wolf and pinned him to the ground in his tent and threw herself at him. She’d never even showed interest before, and at the time he’d been flustered and excited and let her do what she wanted, happy for his affections to finally be returned after so many years. But later, when she pretended the next day as if it hadn’t happened, as if the whole camp hadn’t heard it happen, he felt all that same tired, empty pining again, yet so much stronger than it had been before.

A sick feeling twisted his gut at the memory and he tried his best to shake it off. She hadn’t been acting normally for a while, and he was a fool for not having seen it sooner. Angry with himself and the universe at large, Nathanos hid the arrowhead in a stray jar he found on one of the bookshelves that was made of dark enough glass to obscure the object within it, and held the note above a candle until it burned to ash. Evidence destroyed or hidden, he inspected the window for any trace of the messenger who had left it, but didn’t find anything of significance. A glace outside at the bright sunlight and clear blue sky told him there was no way he was getting out of the city to track whichever Dark Ranger had managed to sneak in at dawn down, not with Shaw likely still watching him with hawk eyes after he’d snuck out the night before. 

With what felt like the millionth sigh he’d breathed that day, Nathanos decided to lay down and rest as best he could until dark came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Keep up my weird 2016 fanfic writer habit of using quote excerpts as chapter titles and then quoting the thing in the beginning notes for the chapter? It's more likely that you think. Also Chapter 1 is a quote from "Hold Me Down" by Halsey just in case the song isn't popular enough for people to notice. 
> 
> For those lovely few of you who are reading this I do have a question: do y'all prefer longer chapters or shorter ones? Because I'm partial to longer ones but also I know sitting down and reading like 5000+ words is a lot for some people. Let me know? Update times may be reduced if I shorten the chapters but also the flow of the story might not work as well because my dumbass brain clumps narrative chunks together like a hoarder trying to make as much room in a 200 sq. foot apartment for more stuff.


	3. Do You Even Wanna Go Free?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathanos tries to track the messenger of the note, but gets caught. He ends up looking for Anduin and not quite getting what he expects. Anduin has a nightmare and wanders the city, then is confronted with an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No-one 'round here's good at keeping their eyes closed  
> The sun's starting to light up when we're walking home  
> Tired little laughs, gold-lie promises: we'll always win at this  
> I don't ever think about death  
> It's all right if you do, it's fine  
> We gladiate, but I guess we're really fighting ourselves  
> Roughing up our minds so we're ready when the killtime comes  
> Wide awake in bed, words in my brain:  
> "Secretly you love this, do you even wanna go free?"  
> Let me in the ring, I'll show you what that big word means  
> \-- Lorde, "Glory and Gore"

A cold, wet nose pressed against his cheek and Nathanos startled from his semi-sleep. He never fully slept anymore, but he could do something slightly akin to sleep that was more like a deep trance if he desired to do so, though he didn’t need to sleep to survive the way the living did. Turning to look at the plaguehound that had woken him, he grumbled under his breath but, noticing the darkness of the sky outside the windows, rose from his position on the bed. 

As he went about gathering his bow and quiver he heard the clock tower chime 8 o’clock.  _ Perfect timing, _ he thought to himself, and reached into his pack to retrieve a piece of jerky to reward Deva for her well timed intervention of his rest. “Come along, girl, I’ll need your help finding the trail of whoever it was that was sent in to leave that note for me. You remember their scent?”

Deva cocked her head as if thinking before barking quietly and wagging her tail, which Nathanos presumed counted for as much affirmation as a creature that couldn’t speak could give him. He nodded to her and pulled another treat out of his pack, feeding it to her then scooped up her now bunny-sized form and placed her in his bag. With a deftness that only came from decades of training and practice, Nathanos quickly descended from his window to the winter-hardened earth below and began to creep into the city proper. 

The guards remained none the wiser to his passage, and though something strange and nervous fluttered in his chest as he kept to the shadows in the still fairly well populated city, he passed unnoticed through the trade district and toward the main city gate. Only then did he finally run out of luck.

“Going somewhere?” Mathias Shaw asked from some unseen position behind him.

Nathanos sighed, turning to face him, “None of your business, Shaw.”

“Actually, as spymaster for King Wrynn, where his charge who was asked not to leave the castle grounds, never mind the city limits, is going is fully my business,” He retorted, “And even if it weren’t, I do quite enjoy ruining your plans, Marris.”

“I don’t suppose you’re idiot brain is stupid enough to believe that I was just looking to stretch my legs?” Nathanos knew he couldn’t win this argument, so at least he was going to make a jab at the man’s intelligence.

“That’s what the docks are for, or maybe today you could practice some of your Ranger acrobatics on the Mage Quarter roofs? Either way you’re not leaving Stormwind without my or another trusted SI:7 agent’s presence to ensure you’re not going about betraying King Wrynn. I’ve been very lenient in letting you roam after dark only because I have other things to do that aren’t babysitting by your window to make sure you don’t leave, but I draw the line at you leaving the city.” Shaw crossed his arms, clearly resolute that he was being reasonable. 

And, to be fair, Nathanos knew he really was being more than reasonable. Didn’t make him any less inconvenient, though. 

“Well, fine. I suppose I’ll just head back to the castle, then.” Nathanos turned, and did his best not to startle when a hand clapped on his shoulder.

“And I’ll be happy to return with you and make sure you get there  _ safely _ ,” Shaw replied, squeezing his shoulder in a not-quite-friendly manner. 

No chance to slip away and try another path out of the city, then. Damn. Nathanos supposed he could allow himself to give Shaw the win on this one. He slipped his pack down off his shoulder and reached into it, retrieving Deva’s shrunken form and placing her down on the ground, irritated at the cocked eyebrow he received from Shaw, “She isn’t usually this small.”

“Oh, don’t tell me, it’s the cold?” 

Nathanos had to bite his own tongue sharply to keep from laughing audibly, “Don’t be such a teenager, Shaw. It’s unbecoming of your position.” 

“And what position would that be?” 

“You’re the spy-- Oh,” Nathanos sighed, “You fucking child.” 

“I can keep this up all night, Marris, don’t you even doubt it.” Shaw replied, seeming to take immense joy in Nathanos’s irritation. 

“That all you can keep up all night?” Nathanos looked resolutely forward to make sure he kept his face as stoic as usual. 

Shaw squinted at him, then threw his head back and laughed loudly, clearly indifferent to anyone noticing their presence on the street. “Oh it most certainly is not, youthful stamina and all that,” and the bastard even had the audacity to  _ wink _ at him. 

Nathanos huffed, “Don’t flirt with me, Shaw.”

“Sorry, I don’t really mean it, it’s just my default setting.” He looked a little sheepish and strangely enough, Nathanos believed him. 

  
  
  


They arrived at the castle with little fanfare and went their separate ways, Shaw claiming he was going to get some sleep, though Nathanos doubted that meant there weren’t eyes on him any longer even if they weren’t Shaw’s. He headed back to his own room, using a different treat from his pack to revert Deva to her regular size once they were safely there. She shook out her coat as if somehow being small felt like being trapped, and jumped up on the bed, turning three times before settling down to rest in a big, round heap. 

Nathanos similarly placed his bow and quiver on the table he’d decide to keep them, and settled into the chair at the desk trying to calm the restless energy that spiked beneath his skin by returning to his novel. Despite his best efforts, though, even his favorite part of the story couldn’t distract him from the buzzing in his limbs that made him jumpy and distracted. Growling in frustration, he slammed the book onto the surface of the desk and rose swiftly, starling Deva from sleep, who glared at him before returning to her nap. 

He paced the room for a time, trying to work out the energy in his body, even going so far as to scan through the books on the shelf and realize most of them were historical fiction novels and language manuals on the various Alliance languages (most prominently Darnassian and Dwarven), with the occasional historical account of early human civilizations and the Troll Wars, and even one or two romance novels scattered throughout. He had a creeping suspicion that Anduin had put the shelf together for him specifically, somehow having learned what it was he typically liked reading, and a new need quickly consumed his frazzled mind: He needed to speak to Anduin, and find out what the fuck was really going on. 

It was later in the evening, nearly 10 o’clock if his internal clock was to be trusted, but Anduin was High King and surely he had plenty to do after a day of meetings and holding court. Even if he wasn’t awake, or taking guests at least, Nathanos figured he could sneak into his chambers and poke around for any evidence that would show the King’s motive for saving him. Surely there had to be something other than kindness, because as much as he thought she was a bit of an unstable bitch, Proudmoore had certainly hit the mark on how much Anduin had risked in taking him in. 

As he approached the door to the King’s rooms, the guard instantly straightened and placed one hand on her sword hilt, “I am sorry, Lord Marris, the King isn’t taking visitors at the moment. Perhaps you should return in the morning if you have something to discuss with him?” 

Well, that hadn’t taken long. Sighing, Nathanos gave a brief bow to the guard and turned back the way he came. He didn’t know the layout of the castle too well, but he had noticed that the library was positioned beneath the royal quarters, and he decided to pop in and see if it happened to have a balcony that might give someone of his acrobatic skills access to the King’s private balconies. As he entered he was once again taken by the immensity of books that lined the walls like he had been in Anduin’s chambers. Clearly, the young King had spend substantial time and funds collecting all of the tomes present, especially given that from what Nathanos knew, Varian hadn’t been a big reader. More of a sword guy, that one. 

Nathanos followed the moonlight streaming through the tall windows to a set of french doors that lead onto a small balcony with a reading bench carved of stone that looked out over the city. He opened the door and quieted his steps and he exited onto the small stone balcony, looking around and up for any sign of where an entrance to Anduin’s rooms would be. Spotting one, he smirked to himself, but upon calculating mentally the distance between the railing of the library balcony and the one to Anduin’s rooms that smile quickly faded. It was at least 20 feet above and 30 feet to the right of the railing’s edge. He was good, but not that good. 

He scanned the wall and a small shadow of a smirk returned when he noticed the small lip that ran along the top of the library windows. It was still a nearly 12 foot leap directly up, and if he messed it up he would crash directly through the window, but it was doable with a little luck and a lot of skills. Nathanos thankfully had more than enough of both. 

Perching himself on the thin banister, he crouched like a cat and prepared to jump, then all at once released the coiled tension of his body and flew through the air silently. His fingers caught deftly on the thin lip, and he swung there briefly before bringing his body to a standstill. The lip wasn’t wide enough for him to stand on, he now realized, so he looked in the direction of the King’s balcony hoping for a better ledge. It would be possible to climb the rough stones if he needed to, but also prone to resulting in him falling to his death many dozens of feet below him, which was less than preferable. Thankfully, his eyes landed on a small outcropping from the stonework that looked like it may have held a statue before, though nothing occupied it now. 

He carefully shuffled along the lip so that he was beneath the ledge he was aiming for, then swung his body side to gain some momentum before swinging himself up the four or so feet to the small platform. As he pulled himself onto it, he realized it was, again, a little smaller than he had anticipated, barely two feet square, but thankfully that was more than he’d need to launch himself off of. From this new perch he was only about four feet below the bottom of the King’s balcony, and maybe another six or seven to it’s right. Perfect. 

Getting into a good leaping position, Nathanos froze when he heard the click of a latch opening and the King’s voice suddenly drift into the night air, “I said  _ goodnight _ Valeera.”

There was a clacking noise, as if something made of stone was roughly being put down on a wooden surface, then Anduin emerged from the door and onto the balcony. He wore a simple tunic and pants, barefoot from what Nathanos could see and likely in the process of getting ready for bed. Taking a visibly deep breath, Anduin placed his hands on the railing and gazed up at the near-full moon with an exhausted expression. In the moonlight his features were softer than usual, skin resembling the porcelain of a child’s doll, hair like the wheat grass that used to bleach to a light gold in the summer sun where Nathanos grew up, and most remarkably his blue eyes were cast a bright silver but for the wide pupil, framed by silvery-gold eyelashes. 

He was stunning in the moonlight, sublime in a way that filled something hollow in Nathanos’s chest and drew him in like a compass magnet drawn north--necessary, natural, and unavoidable. And, just as naturally, Nathanos was terrified of it. Retreating quickly, Nathanos retraced his steps silently, almost falling at least once when he couldn’t drag his eyes away from Anduin’s beauty. Damn his traitorous brain, he didn’t need this right now. First, he was thankful to the young idiot for sparing his life, and he could handle that emotion because it made sense and he’d feel it for anyone who had done what the King had. But this… attraction? It wasn’t what he’d anticipated or wanted, but here he was nonetheless. 

Sighing, Nathanos returned to his chambers to retrieve his bow before heading to the castle’s range, hoping the comfort of shooting something however stationary would ease the image of the young King, resplendent in the moonlight, from his mind. He set up a number of targets at as challenging distances as the range permitted, but the rush of the hunt that would normally focus his mind away from his thoughts couldn’t be found in something unmoving, and after over an hour of splitting quite a number of arrows on perfect bullseyes he gave up, wishing desperately for the ability to disappear into the wilderness and feel the blood of a fresh kill rush between his fingers and teeth. 

Shuddering as the beast that hungered within him stirred at the thought, he quickly settled for thinking of Anduin over letting the monster that he had fought so hard to tame lose on any living creature in his vicinity. With a sigh he resolved to follow Shaw’s original suggestion of perhaps exploring the docks or the Mages’ Quarter. Whether Shaw was actually watching him anymore he wasn’t sure, but the man had certainly implied that he didn’t care where Nathanos went as long as it was dark and he didn’t leave the city, and that was good enough for him. 

  
  


\---

  
  


With a gasp, Anduin bolted upright in bed, cooling sweat making the soft sheets cling to his naked skin and fading images of burning, acid-pocked skin making his stomach churn.  _ Fuck _ , he really needed the sleep tonight after everything with Jaina that morning and the general exhaustion of dealing with the nobles throughout the day, but clearly that wasn’t what the fates had in mind for him. Sighing, he rose from bed and quickly dressed in his civilians’ clothes, hoping that a walk around the city would calm his nerves. Not that it ever really did, but he always hoped that it would be enough to relax him without additional help. 

Tying his boots off and tossing his coat on, with a subconscious pat to the chest pocket to make sure his flask was still there, he set out for the castle gates, intentionally making his steps loud enough for a certain nosy rogue to notice. When he went for his midnight jaunts he knew that Shaw liked to follow, for both of their comfort and wellbeing, and when he didn’t feel his telltale presence behind himself Anduin was fairly surprised.  _ He probably has something better to deal with than your anxious bullshit, or maybe this time he’s actually getting some well-deserved rest, _ he thought to himself rather unkindly. Though, he supposed he was rarely kind to himself, in all honesty, so this was on par, never mind accurate. Shaw didn’t get nearly enough sleep or money for all that he did for Anduin. He really ought to give him a raise.

Anduin wandered out of the front gates of the castle, nodding politely to the gate guards, and found himself subconsciously heading in the direction of the Cathedral that had given him so many days of peace when he was a teenager. More recently, of course, he’d found himself a new means of mental rest, and while he couldn't help but feel a little guilty for straying from holiness as he had, he also found some part of him didn’t give a damn anymore. Everything had gone to shit in the war, everyone he had sent to fight for goodness had died for nothing, and the man he’d respected so much to allow him to second change not once, but twice, had been slain in an instant by dark and incomprehensible magic. 

Nothing made any fucking sense any longer, so who cared if the perfect pretty Preist-King wasn’t as holy as he seemed. Anduin almost scoffed aloud at the thought. He’d never been perfect, and honestly if people didn’t understand that by this point that was their own fault, not his. He wasn’t a child any longer, and he didn’t care to be innocent as one. 

A movement on his peripheral jolted him from his thoughts and he inspected subtly the form of an individual moving along the rooftops, shadowing him. Anduin almost smirked when he noticed the distinctive coat and bow the figure wore, realizing it was very likely Nathanos. Despite having told him to stay in the castle, he had told the guard to only stop him if he tried to leave the city, knowing the man would likely have episodes like his own where he felt the need to wander. 

Assured that he wasn’t about to be killed, Anduin returned to his introspection, but this time his mind wandered to the man he’d apparently saved from the Horde Council’s execution. If he was being honest with himself, he knew that the reasons he’d given were superficial and that something deeper was driving him, but whether it was his suspicion that the Banshee Queen had wanted his death for some reason, or something more akin to Jaina’s, frankly  _ baseless, _ accusations he honestly couldn’t currently say. 

He found it suspicious that Nathanos had been caught by apparently loyal-to-the-Horde Dark Rangers, and doubted that the Dark Lady herself had not ordered his capture. Yet he also found himself drawn to the man in a way he could only partially explain. 

He had struggled his whole life with emotions, particularly those of other people. Velen had called him hyper-empathetic--able to feel as if they were his own the feelings of those around him. Somehow, though, Nathanos had so little impact on him empathetically that being in his presence was like a cool breeze on a hot day, a relief that was both unexpected and oh so welcome. It didn’t hurt that the man was (physically) exactly his type, and a talented archer with a cute dog and snarky personality to boot. 

Anduin sighed and shook his head, it didn’t matter how attractive he found Nathanos, he knew almost for certain that he was deeply in love with Sylvanas, and there was no way he could fall for a broken young man such as himself. Anduin knew objectively that he himself was quite attractive, all the adults in his life had told him he would be a beautiful man growing up, but his beauty would never compare to the Windrunner sisters’ ethereal Elven beauty and grace. He had been around Vereesa and Alleria and he had no questions as to why they were lusted after by so many people, though he had to admit to not quite seeing the appeal. Shame they didn’t have a brother, really, and that he feared Alleria and Turalyon more than he could ever be attracted to Arator. 

Continuing his journey along the canals and toward the Cathedral, Anduin couldn’t help but wonder why Nathanos was following him. Was he curious where he was going? Was he keeping an eye out to make sure he was safe? As much as Anduin would like that to be the case it seemed unlikely, and much more probably he was looking for blackmail material to use to his advantage later, or even to send to Sylvanas, if rumor of his maintained connection to her was correct. Anduin hoped he wasn’t still in contact with her, for Nathanos’s sake if no one else’s. He knew the signs of abuse when he saw them, and the way that man had followed her like a puppy, desperately seeking her approval without any consideration to his own safety or wellbeing was frankly absurd. Though he supposed Genn would do similar things for him, if he really needed to, but that was out of a misplaced debt to his father and a belief that Anduin was truly the best hope for the Alliance. Nathanos would have to be delusional to believe, after all she’d done, that Sylvanas was the best hope for the Forsaken. 

The Cathedral of Holy Light came into view and, strangely, the comforting relief that normally filled his chest at the sight of it didn’t fill him this time. He brushed it off and continued forward, desperately needing the relief of the Light abruptly in a way he hadn’t before. But, as he approached that relief still eluded him and, if anything, the proximity gave him a mounting anxiety, almost as if he feared if he entered he would lose something he wasn’t even aware he had. Trying to make it subtle, Anduin spared a glance to the rooftops to see if Nathanos was still there, and though he had done a good job of hiding himself, he did notice his shape pressed against the chimney of a nearby building. Perhaps that was what he was so anxious about losing? 

Anduin sighed, he doubted Nathanos would follow him into the Cathedral, and yet couldn’t bring himself to leave the man’s sight for reasons he couldn’t--or rather would prefer not to--understand. Turning away from the Cathedral he headed back instead toward the Dwarven district and out of the city to the lake that sat near the embassy. If he couldn’t find peace in the Light tonight, perhaps the lull of the lake water would be enough to soothe him. 

The moonlight glistened off the calm surface of the lake when he arrived and it calmed some part of him that had been beating rabidly in this chest. Somehow, though there was no logical reason for it, the air here always felt cleaner, and Anduin let a deep, cool breath fill his tired lungs, before exhaling slowly. For a moment he almost wished he had thought to bring his pipe and something to smoke, but quickly banished the idea--this was far too public a place for that. Sitting himself down on the soft grass, he moved to pull the flask from his pocket but paused. 

“You can come out of hiding now, Nathanos, I know you’re there.” He called into the night, not expecting the man to reveal himself but hoping he would nonetheless--it was always far less lonely to drink with company. 

He waited a minute or two, and when the man refused to emerge from the shadows Anduin sighed, resigned. If he didn’t want to make his presence known, that was fine, he would show himself when he was ready. Anduin pulled the moderately sized flask from his breast pocket and frowned to himself when it sloshed in a way he knew meant it was half empty. Clearly, he’d forgotten to refill it in his haste to leave for his walk and now he was paying for his oversight. 

Well, at least it didn't usually take too much to affect him even with all he drank these days--apparently he inherited his tolerance from his mother along with her soft blonde hair and gentle blue eyes. The first long pull of the flask burned down his throat, cheap whiskey that made his soul sing in the pain it ignited in him. When he was in the castle he had to drink nice liquor that didn’t burn right, didn’t hurt him enough for it to really make the clouded mind that came after feel quite as rewarding it would if he hadn’t suffered for it first. And after all his mistakes, it’s what he deserved, wasn't it? To suffer the burn of shitty liquor alone at three in the morning because the only person who managed to give enough fucks to shadow him through the city was probably doing so for someone else’s benefit? It was better than being taken advantage, as he well knew, but he still did rather hate being ignored. 

He felt a little grateful for Valeera’s continued willingness to enable his habits as he took his second pull from the small metal flask he’d found hidden amongst his father’s things after he’d died. She had her own unhealthy vices and he wasn’t above holding them over her head if it meant she wouldn’t gossip about his problems to the few people with enough power to stop him and would bring him the shitty bottles he requested. Worst case he could always ask Keira, she never did ask too many questions and was frankly suspiciously good at getting things without anyone knowing where they came from or where they went. Sometimes Anduin wondered where on Azeroth Mathias had found her, but generally figured it was better he didn’t know. 

For all he tried to pace himself, Anduin found himself knocking back the last of his flask sooner than he would have liked. He closed his eyes and savored the way his head spun, empty and clouded all at once, little remaining in it but the vague knowledge that he had to get back to the castle eventually and that no one could see him in this state. Not that he’d never been caught before, it was just that he’d prefer not to be locked in his chambers for the next month while Shaw both cleaned up his mess and subsequently punished him for his mistakes. He allowed himself to float in that liminal space between real thoughts and dreams that could only be accomplished by intoxication before he heard the sound of a few fishermen starting to prepare themselves for a day on the lake, and knew he had to get back to the castle. The fewer people he saw, the fewer would have a chance to notice his intoxicated state. 

It was nearing Winter, so the sunrise was late in the morning in Stormwind, but even still it would only take a small mistake for him to be noticed. As he stood on wobbly legs and stumbled his way toward the city he, feeling only a small modicum of guilt, called on the power of the Light to steady himself. The healing magic burned through his body like acid, likely a punishing effect of it sensing the alcohol in his blood, but helped him keep his balance and walk in a straighter line nonetheless. Finishing his walk back to the castle, Anduin found himself passingly worried when he didn’t see hide nor hair of Mathias on his way inside. His lack of presence the night before was understandable, his lack of having returned, however, was more worrisome. He knew the man could take care of himself, but Anduin couldn’t stop his mind from imagining the worst.

Making his way back to his room he was surprised to realize he wasn’t alone in his room. Sitting, and looking very unimpressed, on his desk next to a freshly brewed pot of coffee was his father’s old friend and his own close friend and confidante Valeera Sanguinar. 

“What the fuck do you want, Valeera. I haven’t slept and I don’t feel like dealing with you right now,” he headed straight for the coffee, pouring himself a cup of espresso with a couple cubes of sugar to take off the bite. 

“Oh, you know, got a concerned call from Keira when you, Shaw  _ and _ Nathanos were gone when she did her midnight rounds. You really need to start leaving notes for your poor attendants who come in in the evening only to see their King missing from bed. Really it’s a shame you drink rather than take whores, at least then you’d still be here,” She sighed and flicked a lock of blonde hair away from her face. “Anyway, I suppose you’ll be relieved to know you’re spymaster is fine. I was following him following Nathanos following you all night. Rather exhausting work, but that’s what I get for agreeing to babysit your childish ass.” 

Some tension relaxed in his chest, “Well, I suppose I’m glad to know he’s okay, though I worry for how little sleep he seems to get.”

“About as much as you, it would seem. You’re still standing, and I’m sure the man has more potent stimulants than that,” she made a vague motion to the coffee in Anduin’s hand. 

Anduin sighed, running a hand through his hair and grumbling when the gloves he wore caught on a strand of his hair, “Don’t say anything more, Valeera, the last thing I need is having to replace him for issues that would mark me a massive hypocrite if the full and honest truth was known to the public. Fuck this is exhausting.” He slumped into his desk chair, Valeera repositioning herself to face him, now cross-legged on the old oak desk, “Did you manage to find out what the Death Knights want? Or anything else on Nathanos?” 

“Nothing on the Death Knights. Whatever it is, I believe their sense of urgency is genuine. Though, I can say that apparently the whole Ebon Hold has been up in a tizzy since sometime yesterday, around the same time they contacted you for a meeting if my informants are correct.” She paused, pouring herself a cup of espresso and taking a moment to sip it gingerly, “As for Blightcall-- Sorry,  _ Marris _ , I haven’t found much. There’s the history we all know, the first and only human Ranger Lord of the Farstriders etcetera, but after his death any proper record of him is almost impossible to find that isn’t directly linked to Sylvanas and her orders. It’s almost like he stops existing as his own person after she ‘restores’ him.” 

“And Sylvanas? Were you able to dig up anything about her behavior before versus after undeath? Or even later than that?” Anduin finished off the small porcelain mug and poured himself another, “I really need to know whether she was always a crazy bitch or if it’s a recent development.” 

“I haven’t been able to find anything substantive about her personality aside from official military reports, and even then they’re vague. And,” Valeera made a face, “perhaps refrain from calling her ‘bitch’ for all we both know it’s accurate? It doesn’t tend to have good implications coming from someone like you.” 

“Like me?”

“Let’s just say you are starting to sound a bit like Garrosh Hellscream, and leave it like that.” 

Anduin grimaced, the memory of a mostly-healed pain radiating through his torso and legs, “Crazy  _ fuck _ , then?”

“Yeah,” she chuckled, “‘Crazy fuck’ would do just fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a shorter chapter than usual, but that's kind of how it worked out with the perspective change. I'm going to try to keep a more consistent posting schedule in the future, once a week or longer likely, but for now I'm a little tired, a little drunk, and have work for the next four days so fuck it, here, have this complete chapter that I haven't really edited. Also, y'all know the saying "write drunk, edit sober"? yeah I do a lot of the first and remarkably little of the second. No editing or beta readers here kiddos, we kie like nem.
> 
> Also, the idea of for doggie treats that alter the plaguehounds size 100% comes from Kaede, I take zero credit for that.


	4. A Familiar Exit Sign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathanos and Shaw discuss the Kings proclivities (drinking), the Death Knights arrive, and plans are set for the future that put more stress on already stressed relationships.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What I know beyond my own heartbeat
> 
> is waiting for tidal waves through revolving  
> doors, moving with the ebb & swell as
> 
> the water swallows every self I've been  
> before now. As if I've always been waiting.
> 
> When the worst has already happened, any  
> smoke turns into a familiar exit sign.
> 
> An old fear turns mouth into apology into  
> vanishing, if only because I've lived through
> 
> leaving but not being left behind.  
> -Natalie Wee, "On Average, Human Beings Survive 7 Days on Water Alone"

He was crouched on a rooftop, body pressed to a chimney to minimize his visibility, when Anduin paused outside the Cathedral, just at the base of its steps. The young man seemed to think for a moment, then turned to his right and walked away from the large building much to Nathanos’s surprise. Strange, really, that the Priest was going somewhere other than the Cathedral at such a late hour. 

When Nathanos had first spotted a figure with a familiar stride and build walking out of the castle gates he had been curious what the King was doing and where he was going in the middle of the night. He supposed he probably had enough stress in his life to chase away much-needed sleep, and was more than likely doing what all those other religious types do when they have troubled minds--go somewhere holy and pray. Following Anduin out of curiosity, and to appease his ego, Nathanos had been pleased when he saw the King heading toward the Cathedral. Now, though, as the King wandered off in a different direction Nathanos felt confused and something he didn’t want to (correctly) identify as concerned. 

Sticking to the roofs, he tailed him as he walked through the Dwarven district and out into the park-like area just beyond it. There were blessedly no guards at this gate and Nathanos passed through unobstructed. He clung to the shadows along the wall and followed as Anduin approached the lake. 

"You can come out of hiding now, Nathanos, I know you’re there.” the King's voice rang through the empty area, startling Nathanos just a little. As much as he hated to admit it, a part of him desperately wanted to approach, that same part of him that was drawn to the younger man like a compass magnet drawn north, but he knew that if he did the question of why it was he had shadowed Anduin would come up and that wasn't something he was ready to deal with just yet. 

So, Nathanos stayed hidden and tried his best not to feel bad about it when Anduin looked dejected and pulled a flask out of his pocket. Raising an eyebrow, he watched as the young King took a long pull, adam’s apple bobbing once before lowering the flask with an expression that looked relieved. Impressive, Nathanos thought, knowing how much alcohol burned to drink down like that. Though he supposed there was a chance it wasn’t liquor in the flask, and the thought of Anduin filling such an object with something as innocent as tea or milk brought a small smile to his lips. 

As he continued to watch, however, he knew for certain that the flask was filled with liquor, and with the way Anduin swayed where he sat, it was either something strong or his tolerance was not great. Probably both. Tipping the flask all the way back to get the dregs, Nathanos watched as Anduin pulled the flask away a second too early and a small trickle of whatever he was drinking spilled onto his lower lip, glistening there for a moment before his tongue followed to lap it up. Something hot twisted in Nathanos’s gut, and he found himself both needing to turn away so he could breathe and completely entranced in the young man’s drunken, blissed-out expression. Good for him he didn’t need to breathe, he supposed. 

He shook himself and turned to return to the castle, not thinking he could bear to watch the young man’s beauty any longer, but before he was able to really move away he heard a few people approaching, and saw Anduin jerk from his stupor. The young King pulled the hood of his cloak over his head to hide himself and stood on wobbly legs and made a very obvious effort to walk in a straight line toward the gate. Thankfully for him, the fishermen weren’t close enough to really notice a stray drunk in the park, and he made it past them without too much trouble. 

Nathanos continued to shadow him as he returned to the city and headed back toward the castle, but a cautious, dangerously protective anger came over him, cloying and hot in his lungs as he breathed in when he saw Anduin turn his face to the still-dark sky and call on the Holy Light to cure some of his unsteadiness. He couldn’t say what exactly about the act irked him the way it did, but it made an ill feeling twist at the base of his throat and an anger rise like venom in his chest. Anduin was meant to be the good one, not him, and yet here he was feeling inexplicably like he needed to rush in and protect him from himself, steady him and walk him home like a gentlemen in some stupid romance novel. The young man wasn’t meant to drink himself so drunk he had to call on the Light to cure himself, and even if he had why hadn’t he called out to Nathanos for help? 

Shaking his head, Nathanos sighed. He was being unreasonable. The man was drunk, and likely this wasn't the first time he’d found himself in this state trying to walk home from wherever he’d wandered off to to drink. Nothing about the situation--aside from, well, everything given that this was Anduin Wrynn he was talking about--was out of the ordinary, so why the fuck did he feel jealous? And of the damned Light, at that. He really needed to get these irritating feelings out of his head sooner rather than later or they were going to get him in trouble. 

He figured this was more than enough bullshit for one night, and without allowing himself time to reconsider and stay to watch over Anduin the whole way home, Nathanos quickly darted over the rooftops to the keep. He arrived in little time, having familiarized himself with this part of the city quite well over the last few trips he’d made, and though he thought he felt something cool rush by him at one point just after he’d crossed onto the castle grounds, even his discerning Ranger senses couldn’t pick anything suspicious out of the darkness of the pre-dawn shadows. 

As he neared his quarters something emerged from the shadows to his immediate left and he instinctively jumped backward, drawing a dagger, but it was just Shaw, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. 

“Jumpy are we?” 

“If you had you following your every move from the shadows, you’d be jumpy too. Tell me, spymaster, do you intend on following me to the baths from the shadows as well?” He sneered at him.

Shaw just snorted, “Wasn’t aware you bathed, Marris, given how you smell.” 

Not having a good retort for that, Nathanos just grimaced. “Do you fucking want something Shaw?”

“So many things... But right now I meant to talk to you about something you saw tonight.” He motioned to Nathanos’s door, “Care to invite me in?” 

“My hound will eat you if you flirt with me.”

Shaw smirked, “You know, if you keep bringing it up I might just think that’s your way of flirting back.” 

“Fuck off,” and Nathanos turned to push his door open, leaving it open behind himself for Shaw to enter if he wanted to. Even though he’d been the one that invited himself in, Nathanos was almost disappointed when the spymaster entered behind him and closed and locked the door after himself. 

Devastation growled at the human, but on Nathanos’s glare kept her distance. He might dislike the man, or at least that’s what he told himself, but he didn’t really wish him dead. “Alright, Shaw, what did you want to talk about?” He turned to watch him and was surprised by the intensity of his expression. 

“Marris,” he began, but paused and seemed to correct himself, “Nathanos, what you saw tonight is not something that can leave the walls of this room. The King drinks, often, and in large quantities and you’ve certainly seen. This knowledge cannot reach the public, he must remain the figurehead that he has been over the many years he has ruled. The people know that he is a man, and that he is not perfect, but their expectations for him are high, and all you need to know is that his drinking does not affect his decisions or the Alliance as a whole, only his own person. As much as it hurts my ego to admit it, there is nothing I’ve been able to do to stop him, and anything I could do would also reveal his secret to far larger audiences than we want it known to. You will remain silent about this, or you will be silenced. Is that understood?”

Nathanos considered, then nodded, “I don’t have anyone to tell anyhow.” 

“No,” Shaw growled, and for the first time Nathanos really started to see just a glimpse of how dangerous he was, “You swear on your life and soul, whatever little of it you have left, that you will not convey this information to anyone or anything or I will kill you where you stand now.”

“I will not tell anyone,” Nathanos sighed, he hated giving into other people’s requests like this. “Or anything,” he tacked on when Shaw squinted at him. 

“Fine.” 

And with that he was gone, the gentle click of Nathanos’s door closing the only sign there had been anyone else in the room at all. Alone finally, a sudden wave of exhaustion washed over him and he knew in an instant he was crashing from whatever adrenaline high had been driving him the whole night. It had been so long since he’d bounced like this emotionally he hadn’t been able to notice it earlier, but retrospectively he knew he’d been manic and now all he wanted was to curl up and sleep for a week. Shame, really, that he couldn’t fucking sleep even if he needed to. Briefly he wondered what Anduin would do if he requested to be buried in the cemetery for a few days and snorted to himself. It wasn't worth the questions it would result in to ask.

A gentle rap sounded through the room and he almost groaned aloud. The one day he wanted to just lie down and do nothing and he couldn’t catch a break. He stepped up to the door and opened it with an irritated growl, only to find a not in the least intimidated Keira on the other side. Sighing, he gave up the growl, knowing she wasn’t going to react to it, “What?”

“The King ‘as requested you to join ‘im for breakfast again, Milord.” She gave him a polite curtsy, then turned and headed down the hallway as if she expected him to follow. 

Which he did, of course, but not without another irritated growl and a tongue click to get Deva to follow him. They followed her through the halls to the Kings rooms and entered without the guards almost drawing weapons this time. She closed the doors behind them, and Nathanos noticed that not only Shaw, but also a blood elf he recognized to be Valeera Sanguinar sat at the small table with Anduin, eating breakfast silently. 

Nathanos took a seat across from Anduin, Deva shuffling over to nose at the Kings knee looking for food. When still no one spoke Nathanos raised an eyebrow, "Did you call me here to stare at me or was there something you wanted to discuss?"

Valeera kicked Anduin under the table and Nathanos immediately got the impression that they had been discussing him before he arrived. Anduin spoke up, "Well, first I wanted to apologize for my behavior last night, it was highly unbecoming of a King and you shouldn't have been made to witness it."

Nathanos grunted something he hoped passed for assent, "That all?"

"Ah, no unfortunately not. I received a request from Highlord Darion Mograine of the Knights of the Ebon Blade for a meeting with Thassarian and Koltira later today. Apparently they have some news for us and probably something they need our help with. I was hoping you would be willing to attend this meeting?"

"Why would I want to deal with either of those idiots?" Nathanos scoffed.

Anduin rolled his eyes, "I have a strong suspicion that whatever they are bringing to me has something to do with Sylvanas. Having you there could provide us with insight if my suspicion is correct."

"So you're asking me to put up with those two for the sake of appeasing your hunch? I suppose you think I owe you this for saving me?" He continued to snark.

“No, Nathanos, I had simply hoped you would be willing to attend.” Anduin sighed, “You’re under no obligation to do this, but if you do I would consider it a personal favor.” 

Shaw stiffened, “Is that wise, my Liege?” 

“I can and will grant favors where and when I please, Mathias.” Anduin gave him a stern look and Shaw backed down, “It is your decision Nathanos. Let me know by lunch what you decide, they’ll be here around 3 o’clock.” 

Nathanos found Shaw’s reaction a little strange. Perhaps favors were a currency with more potency here than they were in the Banshee’s court? He wasn’t sure, nor was he really in a position to ask, but he got the sense from Shaw’s glare that he was expected, by one person at the table at least, to abuse whatever power this ‘favor’ granted. He sat quietly as the living members of the table returned to their meals, and considered leaving for a moment before he realized that Deva was being treated to small pieces of roasted chicken by the King and he didn’t want to tear her away from her food. As their meal concluded, no one saying more than a couple of words to each other, the fact that the three other’s at the table were probably exhausted clicked in Nathanos’s mind and he almost chuckled.

Anduin looked it, of course, pale skin betraying the dark bags beneath his eyes, but for all Nathanos thought he should, Shaw looked his usual self. Perhaps it was the slightly darker pigmentation to his skin, or some manner of make up, but there weren’t visible bags under his eyes, nor a noticeable slowness to his limbs like Anduin had. Valeera, too, seemed tired, though not so much as someone who presumably had traveled to the city some time in the night and likely hadn’t slept since arguably should. Nathanos knew that the human assumption that Elves didn’t need sleep was false in leagues, but Valeera looked nonetheless fairly alert and high-functioning. 

Shaw was the first to stand from the table, announcing some business he had to attend to, and bowed to Anduin before leaving. Anduin sighed, scratching behind Deva’s ears almost as if to comfort himself before standing as well, “Thank you for joining me for breakfast, Nathanos. If you don’t mind I should retire to my office and organize myself before I have to be in the throne room in a couple hours to hold court.” 

Nathanos frowned, “Not to intrude on your Kingly business and all, but you look like you could barely have a conversation with a child never mind help determine the fate of your people. I’ve heard you weak living creatures need something called sleep, perhaps you should get some instead?” 

“Oh don’t act like your kind don’t need to rest as well, Nathanos,” Anduin retorted, and something softer shone in his eyes that looked remarkably like the beginnings of fondness. Clearly the King really was exhausted. “I will take what you’ve said under advisement.” 

Nathanos knew the end of an argument when he saw one and nodded to Anduin and Valeera before calling a, slightly begrudging, Deva to his side and leaving the room. His boots clicked across the stone floor as he headed back to his room, but he barely registered the sound, absorbed in thought as he was. Puzzled would be putting it lightly really, and Nathanos found his hand straying to Deva’s head for some modicum of a foundation to help settle his tangled thoughts on. Anduin inviting him to a meeting that, if the young man’s suspicion was correct, would revolve around something Nathanos would be correctly presumed sensitive about. Was it a test, then? To see if he had truly severed his ties to the Banshee Queen and her court? Or was there some other motive that Anduin had?

Sure the young King knew better than to assume that in the few days he’d been in Stormwind Nathanos had entirely emotionally abandoned the woman he owed his existence to or her cause, so why then was he so eager to have Nathanos present? All the insight in the world wouldn’t be helpful if he was betrayed by the one providing it. 

A twist of pain in his chest at that thought made him exhale sharply, and Nathanos paused mid-stride upon realizing that he had been breathing without meaning to. The musty air of the hallway was thick on the back of his tongue, dusty and a little stale, and it filled his lungs uncomfortably. The sudden jolt of fearful anxiety at the fact that he’d been breathing without fucking meaning to distracted him from whatever questions he had and he tried to distract himself by wandering the castle in search of Keira. Thankfully, or perhaps not, she was easy to locate.

“Ah, Milord, is there soemthin’ I can do for ya?” 

“Let the King know I’ll be joining him for the meeting with the Death Knights. And please don’t disturb me until said idiots arrive for the meeting.” 

She laughed a little, “Of course, Lord Marris. Consider it done.” 

\---

“You know, Anduin, I hate to agree with that creepy zombie bastard but Nathanos is right that you could use some sleep,” Valeera said from where she was leaning against the door to his rooms, essentially barring him from leaving. 

“I just had four cups of coffee, Valeera, you really think I’ll be able to just fall asleep?” Anduin argued. He knew she’d let him leave if he said, but he couldn’t summon the energy to order her away from the door. Damn, maybe she was right.

She cocked a long eyebrow, “I do, as it so happens. I’ll tell the guard to announce that you won’t be holding court today, and if you can sleep, wonderful. If not, take the day off, you could fucking use it. At this rate you’ll be grey by 30 like Jaina.” 

“There’s nothing wrong with gray hair,” Anduin frowned.

“Perhaps not, but don’t you doubt for a second that Genn won’t use your first gray hair as an excuse to find you a wife and an heir right quick before you expire. As much as I’d love more little blonde bastards with your disastrous and exhausting tendencies running around, I doubt some pretty noble girl’s exactly what you’re looking for.” 

Anduin made a face, “You’re right about that at least. Alright, I’ll try to get some rest, I’m sure the nobles can just bicker at each other today. Knowing that lot they might not even notice that I’m away.”

Valeera snorted and slipped out the door with a nod, leaving Anduin alone in his rooms, and he headed to the bedchamber to undress and settle himself in for a nap. As much as he’d bitched to Valeera, the thought of curling up under the covers for a number of hours was disgustingly appealing, and he tried his best not to feel guilty about the fact that he was sleeping while there were responsibilities to take care of. He swallowed a little thickly, suddenly wanting after his flask again. A little whiskey to help him sleep wouldn’t hurt, right? But he knew how Valeera felt about him drinking during the day, and fuck if he felt like dealing with that side of her personality right now. 

Neatly placing his casual clothes on the top of his dresser and loosening his hair from its tie, he curled up under the thick down comforter and wool quilt. The bed was cool at first, but quickly the blankets took to his body heat and warmed around him until he was cozy and warm, snuggling into the pillow. However, despite being comfortable his brain still wandered and fussed over various things, insisting that he shouldn’t be resting yet, that he had things to do, responsibilities to attend to. 

He sighed. This was inevitable, really, with how hyperactive his mind was when he had a lot on his plate, and recently that was literally always. Sometimes he thought it would be nice to just have someone tell him to sleep, order him to do so, and that maybe that would help him find the rest he needed. Sometimes even, though he would not admit it to a soul, he would imagine it to help himself fall asleep when he was having particular trouble. And usually, when he did imagine something of the sort, the man was faceless, nameless, nothing more than the idea of someone older and bigger than himself who could manhandle him. 

Today, his mind had other ideas though. The voice that drifted from his imagination was rough and deep, scratchy in a way that only undeath tended to accomplish, and as imaginary fingers which were surprisingly cool carded through his hair harshly it said, “The living need their rest, little prince.” And in his mind those fingers pressed into his scalp just a little harder, scratching lightly, then tugged, and back in reality a need he hadn’t felt in weeks at least swarmed hot and heavy in his gut. He let out the softest of whimpers, but somehow the order stuck despite being very much not real and his eyelids were heavier than they had been a moment before. Had he been any more awake, or perhaps less desperate for some fucking sleep, he might have been horrified that he was imagining Nathanos ordering him to bed, but as it was he didn’t have the energy or discipline to care in his half-asleep state. Quickly, he found himself falling into unconsciousness as the sleep he needed finally claimed him.

When he woke again the light of the winter afternoon sun cast long shadows across him room from where the curtains had been drawn by an irate looking Valeera.

“I overslept?” He asked, rubbing at the sleep in his eyes.

“No. They’re early.” She walked out of the room for a moment and returned with a small bowl and a cup of something sweet smelling, “Food and cooled tea with berries, eat and drink quickly while you dress, then I’ll meet you down in the war room. I left Nathanos to entertain them but I worry for what his idea of entertainment might be.” 

And with that she was gone. Anduin sighed, crawling from under the covers and shivering as the cool air of his room brushed against his naked skin. He hurriedly pulled on his clothing again, diligently scarfing the bowl of rice and chicken with simple vegetables and a sweet ginger sauce Valeera had left for him before setting about donning his ceremonial plate. He sipped at the tea as he headed out of the room and down the halls leading to the throne room, draining the glass just as he crossed the threshold and placing it on a side table by the door. 

He’d heard them from across the throne room, but the closer he got, the louder the current argument between Thassarian and Koltira became, and he was infinitely grateful for Valeera convincing him to take that nap. Whatever language they were arguing in was unfamiliar to him, but he could tell that they were angry at each other for something that was bigger than the content of the argument. When he entered the room they both paused, looking toward him, and then back toward Nathanos who was seated in the corner looking somehow both irritated and amused. Valeera was nowhere to be seen, but Anduin was certain she was present.

“Ah, King Wrynn, thank you for granting us audience on such short notice,” Thassarian said, bowing to him and nudging Koltira to do the same. 

“Of course, Thassarian. When the Highlord of the Ebon Blade makes such an urgent request it would be foolish to decline. Given how dire he made your news sound am I correct to presume you’d like to get right to business?”

“Yes, King Wrynn, that would be best,” Koltira replied, “the Ebon Blade has had scouts searching various areas for any signs of the Banshee Queen since her disappearance months ago, but we increased our numbers when strange disturbances started up in Northrend. We not exactly get along, but the Argent Crusade and ourselves do know how to cooperate when we need to, and they contact us a few days ago when many of the undead started acting strangely in Dragonblight and Borean Tundra. We sent some people to investigate but they haven’t been there long enough to know anything solid yet.  
“At the same time, within hours of getting word from the Crusade, we heard from our scouts in Stranglethorn that a strange group of what appeared to be cultists were preparing something suspicious, and that a Dark Ranger was amongst them. I personally coordinated with various Horde officials and have confirmed that this Dark Ranger is not in the area on any orders from them, meaning they have likely gone rogue. The group is in the central area of Northern Stranglethorn and seem to be using a combination of blood magic and alchemy to convert small wild creatures into undead shadow beasts.  
“Were that not already disturbing enough, they also seem to be concocting some new form of plague that we’ve never seen before. All in all, it’s not good and we need more information so that we can adequately assess the threat. We have come to you because the cultists’ proximity to Duskwood makes it a likely target for attack if or when this new plague is finished.”

Anduin sighed, putting his palms against the cool wood of the war table, for now blessedly out of use, and leaning against it for support. “That is disturbing news, indeed. I’ll dispatch a couple spies to investigate Stranglethorn immediately, and if there is any help we can offer to your people in Northrend please let me know. If this threat is as dire as I fear it might be then we must do everything we can to stop it before we find ourselves unable to do so.”

They exchanged a glance and Thassarian nodded, “Of course, my liege, we will return to the Ebon Hold and speak with the Highlord. If and when there is any aid he thinks you can lend us in Northrend we will send a messenger to you immediately. Thank you for your time, and your help, King Wrynn.”

“Please relay my regards to the Highlord, and thank you both for bringing this information to my attention. Stay safe, and Light be with you.” 

Both the Death Knights seemed to smirk a little at the parting words, irony not lost on them in the least. “And with you, King Wrynn,” Koltira replied with a sly smile as he opened a portal and stepped through it, followed immediately by Thassarian. 

The portal stuttered for a moment before blinking out of existence, and Anduin let the mental mantle of King fall for a moment, crouching down so he could place his forehead against the cool wooden table. A cleared throat jolted him from his momentary respite and he stood straight once again, looking to where the sound came from and immediately feeling just a little guilty that he had entirely forgotten that Nathanos was in the room. 

The man snorted, “Don’t tell me you forgot I was here?”

“I..” but Anduin really didn't have a reply so he just shrugged. “Valeera? I know you’re here, I can feel you. Please go find Shaw and summon him for me, I need to speak to the three of you.” 

The woman seemed to materialize from a dark shadow in the room and bowed to him just a tad mockingly, brusquely making her way out of the room. Anduin looked back to Nathanos and squinted at him, “Do you have something to say?” 

Nathanos lifted his shoulders just a hair, “I’m just curious what you mean you could ‘feel’ Sanguinar here, but seemed to forget that I was present?” 

Oh. Anduin really didn’t feel like trying to explain it, but he’d known it would come up eventually. He took a deep breath, “It’s a little hard to explain, but… I have an immense capacity to understand and feel for myself the emotions of other people, and those I’m familiar with I can even identify when I’m in proximity to them. If Valeera or Jaina are in a room, I know they’re there because I can feel their presence and emotions somewhere in the back of my mind. Velen has said it is a gift from the Light, but honestly at times I think it is more of a curse,” he ran an exhausted hand over his lower face, “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but you’re different. I don’t feel your presence at all, I can only read your emotional responses to things very vaguely and probably more in the ways that normal people with high empathy can. I can sense things about you, but not the same way I can with just about every other person I’ve ever met.”

“So what you’re saying is that I’m a mystery to you?” Nathanos cocked an eyebrow.

He laughed, “I don’t know if I’d go that far, more like a relief really.” 

And oh but he really shouldn’t have admitted that, should he have? Because now Nathanos was looking at him strangely with a slight smirk and those sharp red eyes were searching him for something, which is of course when his mind reminded him of his fantasy from that morning and there was no way Nathanos missed the slight blush that without a single doubt was washed across his cheeks. Thankfully for him, he was saved from whatever question or taunt Nathanos had opened his mouth to spout by Valeera returning with Shaw in tow.

“Valeera briefed me on your conversation with the Death Knights on our way here, my liege. Should I prepare a couple SI:7 agents to head for Stranglethorn immediately?” Shaw asked, coming around the table to face him.

“Ah, not quite, Mathias. I would actually like you to see to this personally. In your absence I’m sure Valeera will be more than capable of taking over my personal security.” He glanced in her direction, silently begging she didn’t protest. When she simply nodded, he gave her a grateful smile and continued, “Also, I would like you to take Nathanos with you.”

“No. His history with the Dark Rangers is far too strong and I doubt his loyalties to you outweigh whatever remains of his loyalties to Sylvanas. There is no way I’m taking him with me and surviving,” Shaw argued surprisingly resolutely for someone who generally didn’t fight direct orders so strongly. 

“I know you don’t trust him, but I need you to work together. You’re quick to point out his history with the Dark Rangers and Sylvanas, but quick to forget that while that makes him a threat it also makes him an asset. If we have any chance of getting close to this camp and getting information on the cultits it will be with the two of you working as a team, Shaw. This is not up for discussion this time, you will take Nathanos with you. Is that understood?” Anduin hated giving orders, but he knew that if he didn’t King-voice this and pull rank Mathias would never back down and then they’d never get anything done. 

Mathias scowled at him but nodded nonetheless, “As you command, my liege.”

“Good, you leave at sunup tomorrow and will ride to Stranglethorn with as much haste as you can without wearing yourselves or your mounts out. This is urgent, but not so urgent I want them to see you coming a league away.” He waited for Shaw to nod then looked to Nathanos, “Nathanos?” 

“Crystal clear, my King.”

“In that case, you’re all dismissed.” 

Shaw began to stalk off but Valeera caught him by the arm and walked astride with him, “Ah, spymaster if I might ask you a few questions about what you do as the King’s personal guard so I can adequately fill the position?” 

“Of course, Lady Sanguinar.” 

They soon passed out of Anduin’s earshot leaving him alone in the room with Nathanos once again. Anduin sighed in relief once Mathias was far enough away that his anger and frustration weren’t actively wearing on his mental state like a rough fabric against sore, sunburned skin. He gave Nathanos a nod of parting and left for his room, feeling exhausted all over again despite having just woken up from a long nap. This exhaustion made him far less aware of his surroundings than normal, which is the only excuse he really had for how Nathanos managed to follow him all the way to his room without him really noticing he was there. 

When they approached the door, Anduin nodded to the guard and tried not to jump when their gaze at the person behind him drew his own attention to Nathanos, standing less than five feet behind him looking almost amused. The man hadn’t said anything to him, so presumably he didn’t want anything. Anduin made a show of not inviting Nathanos in, looking him in the eye before heading into the room silently, but he followed him in anyway, much to Anduin’s confusion. 

Once the door shut behind them Nathanos finally spoke, “Why?” 

“Why what?” Anduin sighed, he was too tired for Nathanos to be cryptic.

“Why do you trust me to go? Why do you want me to go with Shaw?” Nathanos squinted at him, “Why were you blushing when you looked at me earlier?” 

Anduin made an irate noise in his throat, “I’m not going to justify that last question with an answer, Nathanos. For the first two though, the short answer is that I don’t trust you, not one bit, but I need you. I know you and Mathias both are very good at going undetected, and will likely be able to find the camp and figure out what is going on there without them becoming apprised of your presence, but on the off chance that someone does notice you, you are the only tracker in my arsenal currently who would be able to track this rogue Dark Ranger through the wilds of Stranglethorn. So long as whoever it is doesn’t teleport, I know you’ll be able to find and capture them for interrogation without too much trouble. You were Dark Ranger Lord of the Forsaken, and I expect you to use all the skills and personal knowledge that comes with that to the benefit of the Alliance in this situation.”

“So, essentially what you’re saying is that I’m useful so long as I don’t use your trust to stab you in the back?” Nathanos almost seemed entertained, “You’re rather naive for a King, boy.”  
“In my defense I am a rather young King,” Anduin chuckled. “But no, you are not useful so long as you don’t misuse my trust because there is no trust to misuse. I have Valeera taking over as my personal guard, as well as am increasing my security during the time you’re away. This mission is a means for you to prove to me that you are worthy of being trusted, and that your ties to the Banshee Queen are in fact severed. Fail, and I might just think you’re playing some plot on me.” 

“And here I had hoped you would be an idiot enough to think me taking back my old name was enough to show that I’d severed those ties, never mind my fucking months of isolation in the forest.” 

Anduin snorted, “And here I thought you were a smart enough man to know that I’d see that as a desperate act to preserve your own life rather than a genuine desire to rejoin the Alliance or become who you once were, Nathanos.”

Nathanos cocked his head a little and looked at him for a long time before he spoke, “You are more discerning that you appear, my King.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“One final question, if I may?” Nathanos waited, and Anduin nodded for him to continue, “Why do you never call me by my surname or say it aloud in reference to me?” 

He paused and looked at the older man standing in front of him, considering for the first time in a long time truly lying to someone, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Resolving himself to whatever the consequences, Anduin answered honestly, “Because I get the sense it makes you deeply uncomfortable in a way you perhaps haven’t even processed yet, and I can’t bring myself to do that to you.”

“How kind.” Nathanos sneered. 

“Listen, Nathanos, I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m not trying to break you down and turn you into a traitor to your people. I’m trying to help you, even if that doesn’t come across, and so long as the name Marris doesn’t suit you, I won’t use it for you.” 

“I don’t need you to take pity on me like some wretched pup that doesn’t know how to behave in the house.” 

“I’m not--” 

He was interrupted by a hissing sound as Nathanos physically recoiled from Bastet rubbing herself against his boot. Anduin giggled at the sight, finding in his exhausted state that the way Nathanos recoiled from such a small, soft creature was rather cute itself, and he couldn’t help but comment on it, “You know it’s almost cute how afraid of her you are given how big Deva is.”

“Deva isn’t a little devilspawn.” 

“She’s literally a plaguehound the size of a small horse, so I think that’s an arguable point at best.” Anduin observed Nathanos standing stalk still as Bastet put her little paws against his shin and rubbed her chin against the top of his boot, “You know it’s funny that you’re so averse to cats given how similarly to them you behave.” 

Nathanos glared at him, opening his mouth to speak before closing it again, clearly realizing that he didn’t have any real argument against the point. “Please remove it from me, I would like to return to my room and prepare for my departure tomorrow.” 

“Right, sure,” Anduin half-laughed, coming forward to scoop Bastet off the floor and into his arms. “Thank you for agreeing to go with Shaw for all it may be strange to you.”

“I never said I agreed, my King. I am simply doing as I’ve been ordered to, nothing more and nothing less.” Nathanos bowed to him and left, leaving Anduin feeling like he had to play mental catch up. Fuck, he hadn’t meant to order the man the way he’d implied, but well he supposed there wasn’t any taking it back now. 

That all said, Anduin couldn’t help but feel much lighter now than he had when he’d arrived in his room despite the fact that the content of their conversation was less than lighthearted. He looked down at Bastet in his arms and smiled, “Do you think it’s wise for me to like being around him so much so soon after knowing him? Probably not, eh?” Anduin sighed, “Well, at least you like him too, that bodes well for him given you hate everyone. What should I do Bastet, I don’t know how to act around him. When I put on my King persona he does what I ask without question, which I don’t want at all, but when I try to show him kindness he acts revolted. I’m so fucking confused.” 

He rubbed behind her ears and she began to purr, providing a sense of comfort he hadn’t realized he needed until that moment, “And how in the fuck am I supposed to find a way to be around him more without him thinking I’m being obsessive?” 

“The obvious answer to that is that you are being obsessive and that you need to come clean about your crush. If not to him, then at least to your best friend.” Valeera was standing in the doorway to his bedchambers looking unimpressed at his presumed private voicing of his thoughts. 

“I was talking to my cat, Leera, not you. Fuck off and give me time to process.” 

“If you have a crush on that gross zombie boy I’m gonna be mad, ‘duin,” she replied unapologetically, “You gave me so much shit for my crush on Sylvanas and yet here you are, falling for her champion. Don’t be a damn hypocrite, its unbecoming of a King.” 

“Fuck being a King, Leera, I’m tired and I want a drink so that I don’t have to think about any of this anymore,” and he headed straight to his office where he kept his decent liquor. He could feel her following behind him, and he could feel her irritation and worry as well. As much as feeling her feelings irritated him at the moment, he knew it was nothing a strong drink wouldn't fix. He poured himself a short glass of whiskey, decent stuff that he’d bought for the office from Boralus during the war, and downed it in one go before filling the glass again a little fuller, this time to sip. Slumping into his desk chair, he began sorting through the various reports and papers that had been left for him over the course of the day.

“You’re dismissed, Lady Sanguinar.” 

“Fuck you, Anduin,” was her only reply before she vanished seemingly into thin air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning on trying to keep my updates on Monday or Tuesday but we'll see how that goes. If I finish additional chapters within the week I'm going to just schedule them for the next Monday that there wouldn't already be an update so that there is some sense of consistency with this fic's updates (hopefully), but I'm still too lazy to edit properly. 
> 
> Bless all y'all who've been commenting and leaving kudos, I love y'all so much!!
> 
> Also, this chapter title is a poem quote because I couldn't find a good song for the chapter. Normally I'll try to keep to songs so that I can turn it all into a playlist for y'all by the end but this one just didn't really fit any of the songs I know and I love Wee's work so *shrugs*


	5. Here There be Ghosts (Ready to Hope)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathanos and Shaw go on their mission but it doesn't all go according to plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't  
> So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my rope  
> And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope  
> It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat  
> 'Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me  
> Looking for heaven, found the devil in me  
> Well, what the hell, I'm gonna let it happen to me.  
> \--Florence + the Machines, "Shake it Out"

The sun had not yet broken the horizon when Anduin heard a knock at his door. He rose from bed, threw a robe over his nude form and went to the main door of his chambers quickly, knowing it could really only be one person--Nathanos would have been turned away by the guard, Valeera wasn’t one for using the main entrance, and most anyone that would be allowed to bother the king at this hour was elsewhere at the moment, which left Shaw. As suspected, when Anduin opened the door he saw the rogue standing on the other side, looking ready for a trip away from the castle with his scouts armor on and packed bag slung across his shoulders. 

Anduin allowed himself a visible yawn before speaking, “Mathias, is there something I can do for you this morning?” He stepped to the side of the door, allowing him to enter before closing the door again. 

“I was hoping I could speak to you about the assignment you are sending me on today, my liege.”

“You mean about who I’m sending you on it with?” Anduin asked, knowing he was right.

Shaw sighed, “Yes. I don’t mean to bring to question your decisions, my King, but Marris has already proven he is incapable of keeping his nose clean and obeying orders, and he’s only been here a few days. If we bring him, there is a substantial chance he’ll either turn on us or that he’ll overreact to the Dark Ranger and kill them before we get information. I’m worried that he’ll ruin the one good chance we have of getting in and out with information without them knowing we were ever there.” 

“I understand your concern, Mathias, and it’s certainly warranted. But yet, I can’t seem to think of a single other person we have who could track a Dark Ranger that doesn’t want to be found through the wilds of Stranglethorn. You are the best I have at hiding, at gathering information without anyone knowing you’re there, and Nathanos is unfortunately the best I have at tracking one of his own kind.” 

“That…” Shaw sighed, “I see your logic. But if he betrays you, what then?”

“That depends, if he betrays us and you can prove it, return to me and I’ll hand him back over to the Horde with evidence of his betrayal. I’m sure they’re still wanting after his execution, after all. If you can’t prove it, bring it to my attention and I’ll see what I can do. And if he outright attacks you, you have my full permission to defend yourself to the death. I would prefer you didn’t kill him, of course, I think he will be useful to us in the coming months and he is central to a… thought experiment, call it, of mine, but do what you must. I need you, Mathias, and I can’t afford to lose you the way I can afford to lose him, however inconvenient his loss would be.” And sure, Anduin wasn’t lying, per se--Nathanos was central to a personal experiment and would be very useful if his hypothesis proved correct--but it was more than that. He had come to like the man, find his presence calming in a way he’d come to crave, and the thought of losing him so soon after meeting him properly made something twist painfully in his chest. 

But, well, there wasn’t much for it, he supposed. If Nathanos fell back under the influence of the Banshee Queen after so many months apart from her and her initial abandonment then her grip was deeper in than Anduin had thought, and it would likely be impossible to ever bring him out, and also likely proved that she was stronger at holding minds that he was hoping. Anduin sighed, the whole process of saving Nathanos and his subsequent research into the man’s historical behaviour, as well as Sylvanas’s and any of the other members of her inner circle, was starting to wear on him deeply and in some ways he was glad to have to pull Valeera away from her information gathering if only so that he could also pull himself away from his analysis of what she brought him. 

“As you command, my liege,” Shaw replied to him, disturbing him from his contemplations. Thankfully for Anduin, the man then bowed and saw himself out, leaving him alone. 

With a sigh, Anduin returned to his bedchamber to dress for the day, and only upon doing so and returning to the main chamber of his rooms to ask one of the guards to send for an earlier-than-usual breakfast did he realize that Valeera was strangely absent. Normally, when she was present in the castle she would be sitting at his breakfast table drinking coffee by the time he awoke and dressed for the day, even on the days he was exceptionally early. Yet today, she was nowhere to be seen, and even after Anduin waited the 20 or so minutes for breakfast to be brought up and served she had not found her way to his chambers. 

A small bead of worry had started to creep into the back of his mind when he heard the tell-tale click of his balcony door opening, then closing, and the soft patter of light roguish feet across the stone floor. “Good morning, my King, apologies for my late arrival to breakfast,” Valeera called as she crossed the room.

“Oh,  _ ‘my King’ _ is it this morning, Leera?” Anduin smiled around the lip of his coffee cup and squinted at her, “And where have you been?” 

“Simply making a delivery, nothing of any importance, I assure you,” She replied, sitting and pouring herself a cup of coffee from the pot on the table, “Now finish your breakfast, we have lots to do today. I’ve been informed of King Greymane’s imminent arrival and I would suggest you prepare a better excuse for saving Marris than, ‘I felt like it.’”

Anduin closed his eyes and tried to enjoy the calm of the room he knew wouldn’t last once Genn arrived, “Well, fuck me running.”

  
  


\---

  
  


Nathanos sat astride Deva waiting for Shaw to show up, and absently patted at the small Sending stone Valeera had just given him.  _ “In case of emergencies,” _ she had said before promptly disappearing, and Nathanos couldn’t help but wonder why she was giving it to him, rather than Shaw. Perhaps the man already had one? 

Whatever the case, he was sure this whole trip would be straightforward enough not to need it. What could a bunch of cultists do to them anyway? As he waited rather impatiently for Shaw to arrive, he let his mind wander to Anduin’s explanation for sending him on this mission in the first place. It had felt like a test when Anduin had first ordered him along, and he was at least relieved to know for certain that it was even if he didn’t like how confused the young King had seemed when Nathanos pointed out that he was following his orders rather than volunteering his time for the mission. Why was he so dead set on allowing Nathanos to make his own decisions? 

Nathanos had lived the last many years of his life as little more than a glorified arrow in his Dark Lady’s quiver, and he was accustomed to that treatment--of being treated like a weapon or tool to be utilized when the time was right. It was foreign and he had to admit almost uncomfortable to be asked to make choices for himself. For all the Forsaken had been founded on the concept of free will, Nathanos had never truly felt he had any choice in what he did at the Banshee Queen’s behest, and especially not after Stormheim when she started using his willingness to do as she asked to her full advantage. 

“Ready to go, Marris?” Shaw asked, mounting his horse and looking over at him.

“Just waiting on your slow ass, Shaw,” he grumbled in response, trying not to show his impatience to get out of the city and finally see the wilds again. 

“Well, what can I say, this kind of perfection takes time,” the man threw his long hair back dramatically and Nathanos had to bite back a snort of laughter.   
  


He nudged Deva into motion, “Alright pretty boy, let’s get going.” 

“At least you think I’m pretty,” Shaw threw a smirk his way.

“Fuck off.”

They rode from the royal stables through the Trade District and out of the city, passing a few early risen citizens along the way that seemed wary of Nathanos’s presence, only calmed by the evidently military scouting uniform of who he had next to him. Once whey crossed the bridge into Elwynn Forest something seemed to relax in Shaw’s posture and Nathanos cocked an eyebrow at him, “Expecting an incident back there or something?” 

“Just glad we made it through without you stabbing someone is all,” Shaw retorted, but Nathanos could tell that was not the truth, or not the whole of it anyway. 

“Bullshit. We’ve walked through the city before and you never seemed this tense. Something is bothering you,” Nathanos pushed, and Shaw looked over at him seemingly surprised by the fact that he’d noticed. 

“There is someone I was hoping we wouldn’t run into, and we didn’t. Let’s leave it at that,” the man turned forward, resolutely not looking at Nathanos in a way he assumed meant the conversation was over. 

Nathanos huffed, “Fine, keep your secrets you little bastard.”

“I must admit I preferred  _ ‘pretty boy’ _ Marris.” 

“Yeah well you’ll have to earn it if you want me to keep calling you that,” Nathanos tried his best to chide, though he was only half serious.

“Think I could earn it on my knees?” Mathias looked over at him, and Nathanos squinted at him.

“I almost can’t tell that you’re joking.”

“Maybe I’m not.” 

Nathanos looked at him harder and just barely noticed the tightness of his lips where he was biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing, “Fuck  _ off _ Shaw.” He nudged Deva on faster, pulling ahead of the dumb rogue so he didn’t have to look at him or his smug expression. 

Shaw laughed from behind him, “Didn’t know you were so easy to fluster, Marris.”

“And I didn’t know you were so desperate to get fucked, Shaw.”

“Hey, now. I’m a married man, Nathanos, how dare you imply such a thing. I can get fucked whenever I want.”

Nathanos glared at him over his shoulder, but couldn’t tell whether he was kidding about the married part or not so deemed it best not to dignify the comment with a response, and whipped back around with a huff. Damn that man and his smart comments--he would never admit it aloud, but Nathanos did find Shaw’s company entertaining, if nothing else, and was glad that at least the person he would be stuck traveling with for multiple days wasn’t completely lacking a decent sense of humor. 

It took hours to pass through Elwynn, and by the time the dark shaded forests of Duskwood became visible along the road was well into the evening, the only light left to see by the magically enchanted lanterns on the side of the road and their own personal lanterns that they held aloft as they rode at a slower pace now due to the general darkness. It was another hour or so to the town, but the bed and accommodations would be worth the extra travel and so they pressed on despite the dimness of the road. Even travelling at a quicker jog, the trip from Stormwind to Stranglethorn was at least 20 hours, and with the Winter’s late rising and early setting sun, getting there even in two full days of travel was going to require them to push the hours of dawn and dusk to their limit and beyond. 

By the time they arrived at the Inn in Darkshire it was nearing 8 in the evening and the three living creatures in their little party were starting to look physically exhausted, and though Nathanos was sure Shaw was more than able to keep going despite his tiredness, their mounts did need to rest if they were going to make it to Stranglethorn by tomorrow evening. As they approached the stables behind the Inn a single look from the stablehand made Nathanos sigh and dig in his pack for a treat to shrink Deva down to a more acceptable size. Once she was the size of a small pup he waited for Shaw to pay for board for his horse before heading with him into the Inn, knowing heading in alone might well cause problems with the patrons.

“I hope you don’t mind Deva sleeping in your room, Shaw, I’m not paying for a room just so she can sleep on the bed.” 

“You’re offering to pay for my room? How sweet, darling.” 

Nathanos growled, and grabbed the collar of Shaw’s uniform, shoving him agianst the wall just inside the inn, one arm across his chest and the other pressed to the wall just beside his head, “I thought I told you not to fucking flirt with me, Shaw.” 

“Rich, coming from the man pinning me to a wall as we speak,” he smirked at him, but from the way his pupils were slightly blown Nathanos could tell he was not all too opposed to the position. 

“Fuck you,” and he spun with a huff, stalking off to sit at an unoccupied table, ignoring the “that’s the idea, Nathanos,” that was thrown back at him by the rogue. 

A moment later, Mathias passed his table on his way to the bar, presumably to get something to eat and ask for a room, and the man turned to face him as he passed and held up a coin purse that was unfortunately familiar to Nathanos, “Oh, and thanks for the room and drink,  _ darling _ .” 

Fuck.  _ That’s what I get putting myself within snatching range of a fucking rogue, _ he thought, but made no move to try to get it back, instead sighing and calling back, “Just get me somehting strong if you’re going to use my money.”

Shaw laughed and mock-saluted him, before finishing his trek to the bar and speaking with the bartender. It did console Nathanos a little to see the barkeep blush at whatever Shaw was saying--perhaps the man simply  _ did  _ flirt with everyone. When he returned to the table it was with two drinks in hand, and a server following after him with a plate of food. The plate and drinks were deposited on the table as Shaw sat down, and Nathanos lifted the cup placed in front of him to sniff at it. It was in fact strong, probably something designed for the undead even, and he gave a small nod of thanks to Shaw as he gave it a hesitant sip. 

The liquor was ripe and bitter on his tongue, burning in a way that most alcohol didn’t any more, and for all he was irritated at Shaw for stealing from him he was grateful for the drink. “Can I have my coin purse back now, please.” 

Shaw snorted, “I  _ suppose _ ,” and he tossed it onto the table, “thought I really better warn you it’s never smart to fuck with a rogue like myself with physcial proximity. We’re rather good at taking advantage of it. 

“Rather good at enjoying it too, if your eyes were any indication.” 

“Well…” Mathias trailed off, clearly not knowing what to say, “Perhaps it would be better if you minded your own damn business, Marris.” 

“Seeing as I’m your partner now, I think how you feel about me is exactly my business. But even if it wasn’t, I do like fucking with you,” Nathanos smirked.

With furrowed eyebrows Shaw growled, “Don’t quote me back to myself, Nathanos, it’s stupid and only tells me you were paying attention to what I said.”

“Maybe if you know I’m paying attention you won’t say such stupid shit,” Nathanos retorted, and was a little surpised by the sudden apppearance of the bar keep at their table, almsot as it she’d snuck up on them even though he knew that wasn’t possible. 

“Another round, gentlemen?” She held a platter with two cups on it, and placed one in front of Nathanos and the other in front of Shaw with a sort of intentionality that in his tired and alcohol-relaxed state Nathanos couldn’t quite put his finger on. “Enjoy.”

She turned and walked away with little fanfare, and Nathanos was staring at her when Shaw interrupted his thoughts, “She seems a little weird, eh?”

He spoke quietly, and in Thalassian much to Nathanos’s surprise, but he followed suit in his reply, “Yeah, but I can’t put my finger on how.”

“Maybe it’s because she’s still flirting with me after you pressed me up against a wall then eyefucked me the whole way to the bar,” Mathias laughed, but Nathanos was less than amused.

Nathanos sighed, “I’m fairly sure it’s more than that, but sure, be conceited about it.” 

Shaw shrugged and returned to his drink and meal, leaving Nathanos to try to figure it out for himself. Something about her felt oddly familiar even though he was sure he’d never met her before, but he thought it was possible that she just reminded him of one of the women from his life before undeath and that it was tweaking something in the back of his mind he couldn’t place any longer. But even then, she felt off somehow. 

When after almost ten minutes of staring he still couldn’t place it, he decided to give up and turned back to Shaw, who was much to his surprise petting a sleeping Deva in his lap. “Are you cooing at my plaguehound?” 

“I mean I have to get her to like me enough that I can enter your room without being eaten somehow,” Shaw replied, not even looking up at him. 

First Anduin, and now Shaw. How was it that every motherfucker in the Alliance seemed to think that she was a pet? Nathanos sighed, knowing any attempt to stop him trying to befriend her was a lost cause, “At least don’t feed her all that fatty beef like Wrynn does, it’s bad for her waistline.” 

“Are you saying you’re afraid she’ll get fat?” Shaw looked back down at the sleeping plaguehound in his lap and whispered to her in a higher-that-usual voice, “Don’t worry girl, I’ll still like you if you gain a few pounds. This guy’s just an asshole.”

Nathanos snorted, “Don’t try to alienate me from my hound, she won’t buy it.”

“You say that now, but just you wait, I’ll get her to love me too.” 

“Sure, sure. Whatever you say, Shaw.” 

He sighed and scratched behind Deva’s ears, “I’m exhausted, should probably go upstairs and sleep. You coming?”

“I think I’ll keep watch from down here, if you don’t mind,” Nathanos replied.

“Suit yourself.” And with that Shaw stood, hoisting Deva in his arms, and turned to walk away. He ascended the stairs slightly unsteadily, looking a little more drunk than he ought to given how little he drank, but Nathanos figured it was probably the amount of riding they’d done that day compounding with the alcohol making him seem so wobbly. Once the man was out of sight, Nathanos pulled the novel he was working through from his pack and began to settle in for a night of reading, hoping the barkeep wouldn’t mind him staying by the hearth the whole night if he didn’t make a fuss. 

Thankfully for him, the innkeeper didn’t say anything to him and left him to his own devices when she eventually retired to the basement to presumably sleep, and he spent the night peacefully reading until he heard the inn begin to wake around him. Shaw headed down the stairs with Deva trotting behind him happily, though while she looked happily rested he looked even worse than he had the night before.

“Don’t tell me you missed me so much you didn’t sleep, Shaw,” Nathanos joked, but the dark circles under the man’s eyes and the light pallor of his skin was actually a little worrying to him. 

“Let’s just get moving, Marris. We have a lot of ground to cover today.” And with that he headed out of the Inn, much to Nathanos’s surprise. 

He headed to the bar and asked for some jerky, aged cheese and bread to be wrapped to go, not too pleased to be paying for multiple meals for Shaw but worried enough to do so anyway. Why exactly he was so worried wasn’t something he wanted to interrogate, so instead he walked with Deva outside the Inn and met Shaw at the stable as he was re-saddling his horse, feeding Deva another treat so she would return to her usual size. He climbed on her back and they continued their journey in silence.

Though at first comfortable, Nathanos became increasingly uneasy with Shaw’s silence but wasn’t sure how to comment on it, not without revealing that he cared, anyhow. And so they rode for many, many hours without so much as speaking once. The lack of familiar banter and flirting was odd, to say the least, and Nathanos found himself increasingly worried that something was wrong with the man. It crossed his mind once that perhaps he had somehow offended him the night before, but quickly dismissed it. Shaw hardly seemed the type to keep something like that to himself, right? 

It was not long after the sun had truly started to dip beneath the horizon when he and Shaw passed into the dense jungle of Stranglethorn and began to look for somewhere to set up a camp. Shaw had barely spoken all day until a sudden, “It’s going to be dark soon and we should rest,” that Nathanos could barely find it in himself to argue given how pale the man looked, as if all the blood had been drawn out of his cheeks. 

When they found a small alcove in the mountians to pitch tents in, Nathanos spoke up properly for the first time that day, “You know, Shaw, it’s rather inconvenient to have to stop so consistently for your dumb living sensitivities.” 

Shaw simply grunted in response, “Your mount needs rest, too.” He turned away and went back to his work of setting up a tent, leaving Nathanos puzzled at his lack of snarky retort. 

Clearly something was wrong, and Nathanos wasn’t sure he cared any longer whether he seemed concerned or not, “Are you feeling well, Shaw? Where is your usual bitchy commentary on my very valid questions?”

“I’m fine,” and the man turned in to his now fully constructed tent, leaving Deva and Nathanos to stare after him, confused and worried. That wasn't like him at all. 

“Guess I’ll take watch then,” Nathanos muttered to himself, and went about building a small fire for lack of anything else to do, not that he needed the heat. 

Once a small blaze was going in the middle of their camp, Nathanos plopped himself down with Deva’s head in his lap and returned to reading, only half paying attention to the novel. He knew that there were cultists nearby, and unlike the safety of the Inn the night before he couldn’t bring himself to dedicate all his attention to the book when he knew there were threats around the corner. The night passed slowly, but soon enough the sun began to rise and Shaw rose with it. He seemed a little better this morning, though bags still hung under his eyes and his skin still held that damp look of a fever not entirely passed. 

“Morning, Nathanos,” Shaw said, retrieving some rations from his bag and beginning to eat slowly, draining part of a waterskin along with the bread and jerky. 

“Morning, Shaw,” he replied, studying him as he ate to assess whether he was back to normal or not. 

Mathias sighed, “I’m sorry for yesterday, I think I drank a little too much the night before and let the wear of travel get to me. I’ll try to be more of a brat today.” He tossed a wink at Nathanos and he sneered. At least he was back to normal, and though he’d never admit it Nathanos found the flirting endearing and maybe even a little exciting. No one had flirted with him in a long time, and it felt good in a way. 

Once breakfast was finished and their mounts were fed and watered, the two men left on foot in the direction of the cultists’ camp, Nathanos telling Deva to watch over their things while they were away. The trek shouldn’t take them more than a couple hours, and given that they didn’t have a specific location for the cultists it was safer for them to travel on foot and not be detected at all than travel by mount and dismount too late to remain undetected. The hike was mostly silent, though Nathanos watched Shaw carefully for signs of his behaviour from the day before, grateful when they were not present save for his appearance. Whatever was wrong, it was going away, and that alleviated some of the worry that had been clawing at his chest for all he would deny it. 

The jungle was thick even in Northern Stranglethorn and either the camp they were heading toward was farther than they had thought or they were moving slower because it was nearly midday when they finally arrived on its outskirts. Slipping into the shadows with practiced ease, he and Shaw both nearly disappeared in the thick underbrush, only visible to one another when they wished to be. They crept forward to the outskirts of the camp and for a time simply watched. 

Forsaken wandered the camp amongst a small scattering of other races, from the Horde and Alliance alike, and a banner not unlike the standard Forsaken banner hung in various places in the camp. However, there was something not quite placeable about the banner that was irregular, something a little different than it should look but not so obvious that Nathanos could put a finger on it. As he and Shaw continued to observe the camp a figure emerged from a tent that Nathanos instantly recognized at Lenara.  _ Of course, _ he thought, and snuck over to where Shaw was slunk underneath a heavy leaf, obscured from the view of the camp. 

“Few degrees east of the big tent in the back, you see the Dark Ranger?” he asked and saw Shaw nod a confirmation after a moment of searching, “That’s Lenara. Dangerous, the one that found me and helped the Farstriders catch me, in fact. I think either she’s gone completely rogue or she’s working for Sylvanas secretly. It would be best if I corner her when she’s away from the camp.”

“It would be  _ best _ if you didn’t reveal yourself at all, Marris. We’re here to gather information, not let them know we’re watching.”

Nathanos sighed, “Fine, if she steps away from the camp I’ll follow and hope its to do something important.”

And so he waited. It felt like hours but eventually Lenara finished her conversation with what appeared to be an Alchemist and sauntered toward the edge of the camp, out of view of himself and Shaw. Moving as quickly as he did silently, Nathanos tailed her from the edge of the camp, and hunkered down next to an overgrown bush past the outskirts of the camp where she finally stopped and pulled a Sending stone not unlike the one Valeera had given him from her pocket. She waved a hand over it to activate it and opened her mouth to speak before pausing as a breeze blew through the thick jungle. She lifted her head and, oddly enough, sniffed the air like a hound, but as strange as the action seemed to Nathanos he also soon found her eyes directed right toward him as she put the stone back in whatever pocket it had come from. 

As she turned to face him, he got a better look at the Forsaken emblem on her tabard and it suddenly hit him why it looked strange: there were two ragged and slightly uneven wings where the horizontal arrow used to pass under the face portrayed on it. However, he didn’t have time to ruminate on what that might mean when Lenara’s expression went cold and she called out, “Stop hiding, Blightcaller, I can smell you’re there.” 

“You always were more of a dog than me, Lenara,” he retorted, stepping out from where he’d been hidden, “Though I must admit smelling the air is a new touch I didn’t think you’d stoop to adding to your arsenal.”

“I’ve been blessed by the Dark Lady with heightened senses while you’re been left to wither away in Stormwind. Which of us is really winning Nathanos? The one that acts like a dog or the one that’s treated like one?” She laughed at her own joke and Nathanos snarled, “I must commend you on your skills in manipulation though, I hadn’t expected you to be able to maneuver the little Lion into sending you along on this mission. I’d expected you to take much longer to gain enough trust to find your way here for the Brugmansia. The Dark Lady was of course confident in your abilities to manipulate him, but I wasn’t so sure. Color me impressed, I suppose.”

Try as he might, Nathanos had never been a good actor and the surprise in his voice when he replied was far more evident than he’d hoped it would be, “Of course! He’s still young, after all, easy to play with.” 

Lenara squinted at him, seeming to sense his deception, “And yet you don’t seem to be keen to play, rather the opposite it appears. You came here because you were asked didn’t you?”

Nathanos growled at her, “Because the Dark Lady requested I gather a flower from this region, yes.”

“ _ LIes!  _ I can tell you’re lying Blightcaller. Or is it Marris, now that the little brat has you wrapped around his finger?” She pulled back her upper lip in a snarl, “I hate to say that I saw it coming, but well, I do wonder… how is your little rogue doing?” 

His confusion only lasted a moment until he saw her form shift into that of the barkeep from the Darkshire Inn two nights before and his blood ran cold. For all he wished to the gods and the hells that his face didn’t show it, he was sure the dread that rushed through his veins showed on his face. “Oh, Nathanos, how you’ve gone soft. First, following the orders of your new little King over that of the true Queen, and now you almost seem concerned about that pretty little human rogue. Tell me, traitor, did you fuck him like you did the Dark Lady? Or is that only something you do to people you intend to betray?”

Lenara dropped the illusion and pulled her bow from her back, drawing to fire, but paused when she saw something over Nathanos’s shoulder. She seemed very quickly to weigh her options before muttering a curse in Gutterspeak and disappearing with the flash of an instant teleport. Nathanos spun where he stood and came face-to-face with a light blue-grey skinned Night Elf wearing matte grey Mithril plate and in the process of returning two ice-encrusted scimitars to the sheaths at their side. The individual turned their attention from where Lenara had been standing to Nathanos and gave him a small smile, and a bow.

“Greetings, Nathanos Marris, I apologize for my intervention, but I was instructed to intervene if any interactions between the Alliance forces and the cultists grew violent.” 

“Right, and you are?” Nathanos drew a dagger and stood wary of this new individual, though they were apparently no longer aggressive in any way.

“Oh, right. My apologies, I forget myself sometimes. I am a scout of the Ebon Blade and was sent here to inform Lords Thassarian and Koltira about the goings on of the cultists and the Dark Ranger. My name is Saleme Shadewhisper, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” They gave a small bow, and Nathanos just nodded.

In all honesty, they didn’t look much like someone who was a Paladin before death, but he knew as well as any that death could change a person. With a cursory glance to their surroundings he determined that no one from the camp had noticed them, and quickly returned himself to the shadows before they did. “I suggest you hide yourself before we’re noticed, Shadewhisper,” he grumbled, looking over his shoulder only to not see them present.

“One step ahead of you, Lord Marris,” their voice came from in front of him, and he spun quickly only to catch sight of them slip further back toward where he had left Shaw alone. At the thought of the man something twisted sharp and cold in his gut that he didn’t want to identify as fear, and so he followed in their direction silently. 

It didn’t take long to return to their initial hideout and, once there, an equally short time to realize that Shaw had departed. Nathanos scanned the ground for his tracks and found them fairly easily, and he motioned Shadewhisper to follow him as he tracked the man through the brush. His footsteps were erratic, and his path strange, but soon Nathanos realized he had been heading back to their camp, and upon realizing this, with the worry in his chest rising by the minute, he forwent the tracking altogether and simply dashed through the brush. 

As he approached he felt the air rush from his lungs at the sight of Deva nosing at Shaw’s face and neck, one massive paw nudging his chest, and whining. He hadn’t thought his hound liked Shaw much, but apparently she liked him enough to be concerned. Mathias wasn’t moving, and even from a distance Nathanos could tell he was barely breathing. The pallor of his skin had gone from simply pale to sickly, bruise-like marks showing along the jugular veins and skin sweat-beaded and clammy. Nathanos crossed the distance in an instant, mind turning to how Brugmansia worked and what its effects were, and he knew with certainty that if that is what Lenara had used, Shaw wouldn’t survive the night without a healer. 

Pulling the Sending stone from his pocket, he ran his fingers over it to activate it and spoke, “Sanguinar, Shaw’s been poisoned and we need a healer. Can you send one to our location or tell me how to get him somewhere he can be healed within a couple hours?”

There was a long pause, and for a moment Nathanos almost thought that no one was on the receiving end of the stone, but then eventually he heard, “Nathanos?” in that soft and familiar tenor and realized that Valeera hadn’t given him just any Sending stone, but her own that she used to communicate with the King. Well, that served him well enough for the moment, he supposed.

“Yes, idiot, this is Nathanos, Sanguinar gave me this stone before Shaw and I left two days ago. Are you able to send someone?”

“Oh, yes, of course. We’ll be there immediately,” and the connection was severed. 

As it turned out,  _ immediately _ wasn’t so immediate as Nathanos had hoped, but sure enough in 15 minutes or so the air buzzed with purple arcane and three figures appeared, two familiar one less so. Anduin instantly rushed over to where Nathanos was knelt over Shaw’s barely breathing form, “What happened?”

“Lenara disguised herself as the barkeep in Darkshire and I think she poisoned his food with Brugmansia,” Nathanos explain as Anduin rolled up his shirtsleeves, “I didn’t expect you to come yourself.”

“I needed to be here to properly assess the situation.” Anduin called the Light to his fingers, a small ring of gold forming around his pupils as he did, and gently eased it into Shaw’s chest. He waited for a moment then his brow furrowed, “It’s worse than I thought, I’m not simply going to be able to expel this from him. Fuck. Shayna are you able to open a portal for us right now?”

“Unfortunately not, my King,” the third figure, a Silver Covenant mage with soft silver and blue robes and blonde hair pulled into a braid, replied, “That’s all the teleportation magic I’m going to be able to access without it being unstable today. Tomorrow morning I’ll be able to open a low impact portal that shouldn’t jostle his state too much to go through.”

“Tomorrow… That will have to do, I suppose.” Anduin sighed, “Are you certain it’s Brugmansia?”

“No, I didn’t see her adding the poison or anything, but I have… reasons to suspect that might be what she used, and the symptoms are right,” Nathanos explained, and hoped the King would save his questions for later.

“That’s not really an answer, but I suppose it’s good enough for me for now,” Anduin squinted at him, “Alright, help me move him into his tent. I’m going to do my best to keep his body functioning while it works through the poison, but he’s in a critical state right now and I’m going to need my full concentration and diligence to keep him alive. Valeera, can you keep a perimeter and make sure we’re safe?”

“Of course, my liege,” she replied with a bow, strangely formal for her usual mannerisms toward the King, but apparently today she wasn’t pushing her luck with informalities when Anduin already looked about ready to break down.

Nathanos helped Anduin lift Shaw and carry him to his tent, and in the process Nathanos noticed that their Death Knight friend had also set up a third tent to the side of it. Odd, given that he was quite sure Death Knights were undead like himself and thus didn’t need sleep, but perhaps it wasn’t for them. Upon depositing Shaw on his bedroll, Anduin immediately mumbled a small incantation under his breath and drew Light to his fingers once again, this time running it over Mathias’s chest and lower abdomen, pouring the healing magic into him. Nathanos sat and watched, the only sound in the tent the muttering of the young King as he cast and, eventually Nathanos began to notice, pray. The prayers weren’t anything Nathanos was familiar with, nothing he’d been taught to recite by his mother or father as a child, but the tone and cadence were too much like prayers for them to be much else, and the way the man’s eyes got just that little bit glossy and distant made Nathanos sure they were simply genuine prayers to the Light. 

Over time, Shaw’s condition began to improve little by little, one small nudge of Light at a time, until his breathing was consistent and visible, though still ragged and shallow. Valeera entered at some point, telling Anduin that Shayna had set up a barrier around their camp that would keep them safe until the morning and that she was coming in to check on Shaw. Anduin nodded, and went back to tending to the rogue, now lying blessedly less deathly still than he had when Nathanos had first found him, though he still looked terrible. 

It had been hours and Anduin wiped a hand over his brow and sighed, looking exhausted, “We should rest, I’m not going to be able to heal him any more in the state I’m in. Surprised I got as far as I did, really.”

Nathanos noticed that he was swaying slightly now that he looked, and he realized the man had probably started in on his bottles before being called in to save them and not fully sobered up due to the exertion of healing. Interesting, given it hadn’t even been that late in the evening when they arrived. 

Valeera gave a brittle, tired smile that made Nathanos think things had not been so calm in the castle the three days now he’d been away, “I mean no offence Anduin, but I think Shayna and I will share a tent, girls with girls and all that.” 

She and the mage woman retreated to the tent that had been set up by the Death Knight before they’d declared they don’t actually need to sleep. Saleme looked to Anduin and Nathanos, “I will keep watch.”

“Thank you, Death Knight.” Anduin’s voice was almost as tired as he looked, scratchy and a little rough from the constantly muttered incantations and prayers. 

They left Shaw’s tent and Anduin turned back to the resting, however fitfully, rogue, and sighed, “I don’t want to leave him, really, but I know if I stay I won’t sleep a wink.” 

“You can sleep in my tent, it’s not like I need to sleep anyway.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Nathanos, I know you don’t need sleep but you do need rest. We can share, we’re adults,” and he said it with such resoluteness Nathanos knew there wouldn’t be a point in arguing, especially when Anduin was right and the stress of the whole day had worn him out in a way he hadn’t felt for a long time. 

The two men silently left Shaw to his rest and walked the short distance to Nathanos’s tent. Anduin slumped down onto the bedroll Nathanos had initially set up out of some strange sense of habit, and maybe to spoil Deva with when Shaw wasn’t looking, though he supposed he was thankful for having done so when he saw the young man’s eyelids already drooping. 

“Don’t fall asleep in your armor, idiot,” Nathanos grumbled at him, “I’m not going to undress you like a toddler.” 

Anduin jolted fully awake, “Uh um yeah, right.” 

Was he… blushing? Nathanos doubted it, but the slight tinge of pink across the young man’s cheeks was undeniable. He watched as the King removed his armor, placing it beside the bedroll neatly, before moving on to remove what he wore beneath it, stripping almost nude and in the low light of the tent Nathanos was suddenly thankful that the dead  _ couldn’t  _ blush. 

“I didn’t say you had to strip.” 

Anduin snorted, “You say that like you didn’t spend years in the military where nudity is hardly an issue or matter of impropriety.”

Not really having a retort to that, Nathanos just grunted and averted his gaze from the King’s bare torso and legs. His eyes were drawn back when Anduin made a soft sound as his shoulder popped, and he felt his breath catch at the sight of long, pale arms stretched above his head, fingers twined together and back curved in a sinful arch. Nathanos had mostly lost his emotional responses to things in his undeath, but the deep, yearning  _ want _ that coursed through him at the sight almost frightened him. 

Damn it all to the fucking Void, this was the last thing he needed. He’d barely known the boy for a week and that already he was developing, well,  _ something _ for him was highly inconvenient. The deeply alluring sight of Anduin slowly lowering his arms and loosening the tie in his hair, shaking soft blond locks out with a pleased sigh was certainly making whatever that  _ something  _ was undeniable, though.

Anduin rolled his shoulders and neck, slumping in exhaustion onto his back--giving Nathanos a very nice view of his bare chest--and rubbed his hands over his eyes. Taking his hands away he turned to look at Nathanos, “Hey, Nathanos, can I ask a favor of you?”

“Sounds like you’re going to whether I say yes or no,” Nathanos tried to make it look less like he’d been checking him out, though he was starting to suspect that Anduin didn’t care either way. 

He chuckled, “Yeah I suppose so.” Closing his eyes and turning his face away, he looked up at the roof of the tent instead and softly made his request, “Tell me he’ll be okay.”

“What?”

“Shaw. Tell me he’ll be okay.”

“I don’t know whether or not he will, you’re the healer not me,” Nathanos couldn’t tell what the King was getting at, but he wasn’t about to promise something he didn’t mean.

“I know that,” Anduin swallowed and something thick caught in his throat, making him hiccup audibly. Nathanos almost thought he might be holding back tears. “Please just tell me he’ll be alright. I know it’s a lie, but I… I need that right now. Please? Please tell me he’ll be okay?” 

A tear rolled down Anduin’s cheek and Nathanos froze. He hated doing what other people said to do, always dodging around their requests as much as he could so as to not seem too compliant, but this time something twinged in his chest and he did as he’d been asked.

“Shaw will be fine, Anduin,” he said gently, “Sleep, you’ll need it for tomorrow.” And, not quite knowing how to offer comfort, not having needed to for so many years, he opened the flap to the tent and softly whistled, calling Deva to him. She nosed into the tent and immediately went to Anduin’s side, sniffing at his hair and licking his face. He giggled a little wetly, climbing beneath the blankets and turning to face Deva’s large form. 

With one hand buried in her fur, he started to nod off. “Thank you, Nathanos,” he whispered, and then he was out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is hella long and I'm sorry, and part of it was actually meant to be the beginning to chapter 6 but it didn't feel right to cut it off where I'd originally intended. I know also the chapter title is a little different than I normally do, but there's a reason for it so don't worry ;) I'm trying to edit my chapters a little bit now but I'm also not keen on doing so because I just get bored with it lmao. I was actually going to wait to post this until the 17th but you can't queue chapters on here so you know what? Here y'all go. I don't feel like losing the notes and shit now that I've already typed them.
> 
> Also, Saleme is pronounced sa-LEE-muh or sa-LAY-muh, depending on where you're from. They say it the first way.
> 
> In the future I'm going to try to wait though so there's some consistency!! (I keep saying that but idk if it will actually happen bc I'm a disaster omg)


	6. Towards the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group returns to Stormwind from Stranglethorn and Greymane makes a nuissance of himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Distant rhythm of the drum  
> As we drifted towards the storm  
> Baby lion lost his teeth  
> Now they're swimming in the sea
> 
> Troubled spirits on my chest  
> Where they laid to rest  
> The birds all left, my tall friend  
> As your body hit the sand
> 
> Million stars up in the sky  
> Formed a tiger's eye  
> That looked down on my face  
> Out of time and out of place  
> \-- Of Monsters and Men, "Your Bones"
> 
> ***  
> As a warning there is some pretty homophobic language/ideas in this chapter, so please care for yourself my friends. I'm sorry I'm making Genn a dick in this, but hey we all need a character to project our daddy issues onto and Varian's dead so...

For all he would never admit it, the easy rhythm of Anduin's breathing put Nathanos into his own meditative state for the evening, and when songbirds in the forests around them alerted him to the impending morning he almost felt well rested. He had intended, naturally, to take Deva for a stretch of both of their legs and do a couple rounds about the camp to ensure there were no cultists lingering in the trees, but one glance at the way Anduin was wrapped around her like an overgrown teddy bear and he couldn't bring himself to wake them. With a small huff, he slipped silently out of the tent and saw Valeera making her way from the treeline to the fire, looking tired. 

She plopped down next to the campfire and pulled a number of items he recognized as the tools and ingredients to make coffee from a small bag, "Morning, Marris."

Nathanos nodded to her, "Sanguinar."

"You don't need to bother with a perimeter, I just got back from checking. There were unfortunately no cultists to kill," she grimaced at the pot of water she was warming over the flames, "though I suppose that's better for the King and spymaster."

"Needed something to fight, Sanguinar? Didn't know you were the type but I'm always down for a spar," he replied, pulling his coat back to show the dagger at his hip.

She snorted, "Offering to help me blow off steam with you little dagger, Marris?"

"Ugh, first Shaw and now you. What is with all of Wrynn’s favorite rogues and flirting with me?"

"Its not flirting, I'm just fucking with you. Shaw? Yeah he's flirting, but I hate to tell you you're not exactly my type," she replied, rolling her eyes.

"Oh? And what exactly would be your type, Sanguinar?"

"That's classified."

"Fuck off." They lapsed into silence as the water began to boil and Valeera dumped a portion of ground coffee beans into it, stirring it as it bubbled, then taking it off the fire to sit on a rock for a few minutes. As she went through the process of pouring the hot liquid into a steel mug through a cheesecloth, Nathanos broke the quiet, "Has something been going on in Stormwind?"

"Other than Greymane showing up and disturbing any semblance of peace there had been by being his incessantly abrasive, homophobic self? Nope." She furnished her coffee with honey and cinnamon, before turning to him, "I feel I should warn you that he isn't pleased about Anduin saving you and when we return today he'll likely try to get a rise out of you."

"Oh so we return to meet the old wolf? Wonderful," Nathanos sneered.

“If we’re lucky, it will just be him. If not, Princess Tess will have arrived from Darkshore as well and that will really be a shit show.” Valeera shook her head as she took the first sip of her coffee, breathing the scent of it deeply through her nose and closing her eyes. “Sweet fucking caffiene,” she muttered under her breath. 

“And why, exactly, would having Greymane’s pup around make things worse? For all I dislike the family she doesn't seem nearly as unreasonable as her father.”

“Because…” Valeera trailed off, and looked away, something solemn yet amused in her expression that resembled the look one might have while watching a youth attempt something wholeheartedly knowing, from an adults’ perspective, they were bound to fail and be hurt in the process, “I don’t know if I should be telling you this, but Greymane intends to have Tess and Anduin wed. He’s technically the authority on the matter of Anduin’s betrothals by some technicality left by Varian and he’s using it to his advantage. Disregarding the fact that they’re both very much not interested in each other’s genders, Tess and Anduin are such different people, and Tess at least is already in love with someone else, so there really is no way it would work.”

She shook her head, that same bittersweet humor in her eyes, “I’m sure Anduin can find a way out of it, he is High King after all, I just mourn for what this whole debacle will do to Tess and Genn’s relationship.”

Nathanos snorted, “Sounds like the old wolf has it coming to me.”

“Even so,” Valeera looked up and Nathanos noticed a wetness to her eyes that hadn’t been there before, “There is nothing worse than learning what you mean to your father and having it be anything less than everything. Tess is a good woman, she doesn’t deserve that, especially after losing her big brother.”

He grunted, not knowing what to say, but thankfully he was saved from having to pretend to care by Anduin and Deva exiting their tent. A sudden wave of irritation hit him when he heard that the young King was  _ cooing _ at his hound in what sounded like Thalassian, asking her if she was hungry in that cute, high pitched voice people reserved for small animals and babies. More irritating was the fact that Nathanos’s heart decided to become inexplicably and suddenly smitten with the act.  _ Disgusting _ . He forced himself to look away into the forest and tried to ignore Anduin’s approach, though with little success. 

Anduin sat down between Valeera and Nathanos, with a warm smile and, “Thanks, Leera,” when the elven woman handed him a cup of coffee, this time black. 

“Don’t have any cream, but I think you’ll live.”

Anduin simply hummed in response, holding the cup to his face and breathing in the smell of it before taking a deep pull despite how hot it must have been. “Not bad for being made over a campfire,” he commented, “Anyhow, I’m assuming you took a look around before settling down for the morning?”

Nathanos almost opened his mouth to answer before he realized the question was intended for Valeera instead, and found himself irritated that Anduin was assuming she had done a perimeter not him. Why it irritated him he wasn’t sure, but he could admit to himself that he felt a little like he’d lost a competition he hadn’t realized he was participating in.

“Yes, and we’re alone for all I could tell. I was just updating Marris here on everything that’s going on with Greymane.” 

“Right, that.” Anduin sighed, then turned to him, “I wish he wouldn’t be so… abrasive all the time but I’m sure he’s going to try to get a rise out of you. If you could do your best not to play into it I would appreciate not having the headache of a full blown fight between you two to clean up after.”

“I’m sure I can do that,” Nathanos replied, slightly sly, “Whether I choose to or not will be up to my mood at the moment.” 

“Don’t be fucking difficult, Nathanos. Please, for the love of the Light, behave today?” Anduin looked suddenly much older than he was, and much more exhausted than any 20-something ever should. 

“The love of the Light? Never,” Nathanos squinted, “Only because my hound seems to have taken a liking to you will I do my best not to throttle the old wolf the minute he insults my entire race’s existence, as well as mine personally.”

“I suppose that will have to be good enough. Thank you, Nathanos.” 

“Don’t mention it,” Nathanos said, and when Anduin looked like he was going to add onto his thanks he added, “I mean seriously, don’t mention this to anyone. Especially not Shaw. Last thing I need it that flirty little rogue to get the idea that I’ve gone soft into his idiot head.”

“Flirty?” Anduin lifted an eyebrow, “My spymaster hasn’t been harassing you has he?”

For a moment Nathanos almost thought it was a serious question, but quickly realized it was more of a joke than anything, “He told me it was his default setting and I deigned to ignore him. We’re fine, even if he is a glorified, sneaky lapdog to the crown.”

Anduin opened his mouth to comment, likely on the last part, but Valeera’s snort of amusement cut him off, “Oh,  _ ignore him _ ? Is that what you call pinning someone to a wall and all but snogging them?” 

“I didn’t- It wasn’t- I… how the fuck did you hear about that anyway? And I wasn’t kissing him I was threatening him!” 

Valeera threw her head back and laughed at Nathanos’s failed attempt to retort, and mimed wiping tears from the corners of her eyes, “SI:7 agent was staying the night in Darkshire, heading up from Westfall to Elwynn. I ran into her the other morning and oh she was more than happy to share the gossip once I poked her a bit. Apparently you two made quite a scene.” She wiggled an eyebrow at him and he fumed.

“Sanguinar that’s enough, I was trying to get him to lay off the flirting, not incite more of it, nor bring upon your ridiculous accusations and teasing! Stop making something out of nothing, you sound like a schoolgirl with some ridiculous romance novel!” 

She just continued to laugh, and he thought he heard some joke about getting laid amongst her guffaws, but Nathanos was too preoccupied noticing that Anduin was being more quiet than usual. Something about his demeanor was different than it had been mere moments before, but Nathanos couldn’t for the life of him place how. 

“Speaking of our Spymaster, I should probably get to checking on him. Hopefully I’ll be able to heal him well enough for portal travel within a couple hours and then we can return to the shitshow that is Stormwind at current.” He brushed his hand through Deva’s fur as he stood and left, the sourness of his mood not going unnoticed by Valeera. 

She still shook with fading chuckles, but watched him go with a cocked eyebrow, squinting in what Nathanos presumed was concern. Though she didn’t speak, clearly Nathanos wasn’t wrong in thinking that such behaviour was atypical of the young King. After a moment of silence, Valeera’s gaze returned to him and she smirked, something sharp in her eye, “You know he’s gay right?”

“Anduin? You implied so earlier.” 

“No, idiot, Shaw. So, you know…” She waggled her eyebrow suggestively again, “If you wanted to get a piece of that I’m sure he wouldn't be opposed.”

Nathanos made a disgusted noise in his throat, “I’m very much not interested. He’s not exactly my type.” 

“Really now? And here I thought I was right about your sexuality,” Valeera squinted at him, “You’re sure you’re not bi?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your concern, Sanguinar. But even if I were, doesn’t mean Shaw is what I’m interested in.” 

“Ah, right. Of course.” She winked at him and he just rolled his eyes, “Anywho, I’m gonna be a good lay and bring Shayna coffee in bed, or what passes for it in this disgusting jungle.” 

And with that she was gone, the barest movement of the tent flap the only evidence she had moved, and Nathanos thought distantly that either she was very fast or he’d accidentally dissociated for a moment. Could be both. He scanned the area and realized that the Death Knight was nowhere to be seen, and hadn’t been all morning, but figured they probably had orders to attend to. He would ask Valeera later if she knew where they’d gone.

With a sigh, Nathanos heaved himself up and went to Shaw’s tent. Poking his head in the flap he saw Anduin knelt next to the man, Light at his fingertips, gently murmuring some form of spell incantation. Nathanos cleared his throat, “Knock, knock.”

“Didn’t know you were the kind to be courteous, Nathanos,” Anduin said, not looking up from where he examined Shaw, “I’ll need another hour or so but after that he should be in good enough shape to bring back to Stormwind, especially if Shayna can make a stable portal.”

“Good, I didn’t want to wait around for his sick ass,” Nathanos grumbled, but from the small smile at the corner of Anduin’s mouth, he likely noticed the fondness in the statement. “I’m going to do a perimeter with Devastation and make sure we’re alone, send for me when we’re about to leave.”

Anduin nodded to him, and he left the tent. As he gathered his bow and quiver, Nathanos suddenly felt a strange tug on his consciousness, like cold fingers grasping for his mind and for a moment, but only a moment, the knowledge of how easy it would be to kill the Alliance High King, spymaster, and trusted friend of the royal line consumed him. Quickly, he shook off the thought, dread curling in the pit of his stomach at the thought of putting an arrow in Anduin or Mathias, and though he didn’t feel like interrogating why that was, he did accept it for being there nonetheless. He’d spent years trying to turn away from feelings, and honestly he was getting tired of it. If his traitorous mind had decided to grow fond of the two men, well so be it.

Heading away from the camp, beyond the barrier established by the mage, Nathanos and Deva slipped into the shadows with ease. Though it was past sunrise, the dense canopy of trees cast shadows deep and long along the jungle floor, and there was no lack of places for him to hide. After fifteen or so minutes searching the perimeter and coming to the same conclusion as Valeera that they were, indeed, alone, Nathanos let his mind wander to the young King, and to what Lenara had said to him the day before.

In his panic surrounding Shaw he hadn’t ruminated on half of what Lenara had really been saying, but now that he had the chance he realized that despite it all, despite abandoning him to first the wilds and then the Horde, Sylvanas had still assumed he was loyal to her. Though Lenara's conclusion that he was now loyal to Anduin was not entirely correct, not yet anyway, he certainly didn't feel that same zealous, unrelenting loyalty toward his previous Queen any longer, and in some way he--in retrospect--couldn't quite fathom how he'd felt so strongly about it before. 

He shook his head. Clearly the time and distance were messing with his memory. Sylvanas had saved him from being nothing more than Scourge grime, raised him to something greater  _ for _ something greater not once, but twice. She had been the love of his life and his death, the only person he'd loved truly even if somewhere deep in his soul he knew she never felt the same way he did. And yet, somewhere in his memory that love had transformed into a duty and loyalty that had nothing to do with love itself, that was so much blinder than love could ever be, and only after his arrival at Stormwind did it feel like he'd woken up from it. 

Perhaps Anduin had saved him after all, even if the young King hadn't intended to do so the way he had. With a sigh, Nathanos resigned himself to eventually getting a good reason for his rescue out of the man and, looking to the sky and realizing almost an hour had passed, returned to their makeshift camp. 

When he arrived, the members of their little party were taking the tents apart around Anduin and Shaw, including Saleme who had arrived at some point while he was gone. He took down his own tent as well, and then joined them as they sat quietly and waited for Anduin to leave Shaw's resting side. When he did, Nathanos stood and walked over, not saying a word but motioning to the sleeping form of the rogue. Saleme stood as well, and together the two of them lifted Shaw up off the roll he'd been laid on. Anduin quickly scooped the mat up, then looked to Shayna who, again without speaking made a series of motions and opened a portal to Stormwind. Valeera had collected Shaw's mount and the lot of them stepped through the portal and into the portal room in the Mages' Quarter. 

"We should take him to the healers near the cathedral," Anduin said, breaking the silence and making Nathanos startle just a little. 

"If my duties here are done, my Liege, I think I will remain in the tower," Shayna piped up and Anduin seemed to see her for the first time by the way he looked in her direction when she spoke.

"Of course, Shayna, thank you again for your help."

"It was no trouble, my Liege," and with a bow she headed off to some other part of the tower where she presumably normally worked. 

"To the Cathedral Square?" Valeera asked, a strange fake cheer to her voice.

Anduin snorted, "And then back to the castle to deal with Genn. Let's get going, no time like the present."

They headed through the tower and the bustling streets to a clinic near the cathedral where Anduin had a soft conversation with the healers there. Upon being guaranteed he would be alerted to any change to Shaw's condition, the four of them were escorted politely out to leave the healers to their work, and Anduin began to speak with Valeera softly in Thalassian. 

Nathanos mostly tuned out their conversation, knowing it was likely meant to be mostly private even if he could understand them, but found himself distracted enough by some strange anxiety in his chest that he wasn’t paying attention anyway. His fingers dug into the thick fur of Deva’s neck and only when the smell of freshly baked rye bread wafted through the streets from the Dwarven District did he realize that he was breathing deeply through his nose. Not sure how long he’d been doing so for, he chanced a glance at the King and Valeera, trying to gauge whether they had noticed the slip up. Thankfully for him neither of them seemed to, too engaged in their private conversation to be paying attention, but he was getting a strange look from the equally-to-himself undead Death Knight next to him. 

“Don’t say a word,” he growled under his breath.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, of course,” they nodded to him, “I find myself curious though… Is it a stress thing or just a you thing?”

He just bared his teeth and pushed ahead of them, hoping they would leave the conversation there. They did, to his relief, and the rest of the walk to the castle was made in relative peace. Said peace did not last, of course, because the moment the four of them walked through the main doors to the castle a guard rushed up toward Anduin looking distressed.

"My Liege, it's very good you've arrived! King Greymane has been tearing this place apart looking for you since morning and demanding we send a search party to look for you after you left without declaring your destination."

Anduin signed, "Where is he at present? I'll deal with him."

"He was in the war room last I checked," the middle-aged woman replied.

And sure enough as they continued toward the throne room they could actually hear Genn yelling at some poor SI:7 agent, "What do you mean the King left last night without a word? Is SI:7 entirely incompetent? Your organization functions on information, you must know where he's gone and why! Tell me boy, now!"

The reply, whatever it was, was too quiet to be heard despite how rapidly they were approaching. Anduin picked up his pace with something that sounded like a curse muttered under his breath, and soon enough he was rounding the corner and heading for the war room, "Genn that's enough!"

"My King! Thank the Light you're back, I was starting to suspect that something had happened to you, especially with that disgusting beast Bli-" he cut himself off as Nathanos rounded the corner behind Anduin, and for a moment he almost seemed to calm. That was, of course, until it seemed to sink in that Nathanos was really there and took a deep breath to begin speaking, stopping himself once again as Anduin held a hand up.

"Before you even start, if it weren't for Nathanos my spymaster would likely be dead as we speak. I was away retrieving Shaw and Nathanos from a critically important mission to Stranglethorn. Shaw was poisoned during said mission and I didn't have time to find someone trustworthy enough to tell my intended location before I left because his life was at dire risk." He lowered his hand, "You may speak now, but please try not to yell. It's been a long morning already."

Genn was almost shaking with what seemed an impossible amount of contained rage, but his voice was surprisingly level when he spoke, "As always, I do not wish to undermine your authority, my King, but how do you know this isn't all some part of Sylvanas's plot? That Blightcaller didn’t poison Shaw then call for your aid?"

"Because this Death Knight was witness to the Dark Ranger Lenara's admission that she poisoned Shaw, as well as her intention to attack Nathanos before she realized they were present and she was thus outnumbered. In addition to their testimony, I get the good sense that Nathanos was genuinely concerned for Shaw's wellbeing. If that is not evidence enough-" Anduin was cut off by Genn's scoff. 

"Concerned? One of the Banshee bitch's little pets? That  _ creature _ is no more capable of love or concern than a feral wolf that is captured. He will snap off the hand that currently feeds him the second his Lady beckons him home. Trust me Anduin, I have seen what his kind are capable of and it certainly isn't concern for anything other than themselves." Genn spat his words, sharp and vitriolic, but Anduin remained calm through his little tirade. Nathanos immediately sensed that this was not the first time they'd had this conversation. 

"Genn," Anduin said, warning in his tone.

"My King I'm sorry but do you intend to keep it here while us civilized folk have a conversation? I find myself having difficulty remaining calm when it’s standing there like it belongs at your side," he drew a lip up in a snarl and Nathanos couldn't help but mimic it defensively. 

"Stop it, Genn!" Anduin yelled, and everything in the room seemed to come to a pause for a moment in the wake of if. He took a deep breath to steady himself, "And as it so happens, his place  _ is  _ at my side. For the time it takes Shaw to recover, Nathanos will be taking over the work of ensuring my personal safety, while Lady Sanguinar will be assisting Shaw's second in command in taking over his duties as spymaster."

Genns snarl grew in volume as his form shifted into that of a white-furred Worgen, "You would dare invite this thing to your side but refuse to willingly take my daughter's hand? I'm beginning to think you have completely lost your sense, my King!"

“My decision to trust Nathanos with my safety and my refusal to marry Princess Tess are entirely unrelated, Genn!” Anduin snapped, voice climbing in volume uncharacteristically, “You know as well as I do that the issue of any betrothal between myself and Tess surrounds your pigheaded refusal to see that she is already in love with someone!  **_I will not stand in the way of that woman’s happiness without her fucking consent!_ ** ” 

For just a moment, Nathanos saw very clearly that Anduin was indeed his father’s son, and he was just a little bit terrified. Apparently, however, Genn was too stubborn or too angry to see the danger there, because he only leaned forward and screamed back, “My daughter is confused, Anduin! She doesn’t know what she’s feeling and she certainly isn't going to be dooming my family line over some petty crush on a  _ girl.  _ She is a smart woman, and more importantly my daughter, and I’m sure once the two of you are married she’ll realize she was being childish with this notion of her’s.”

Anduin was seething, but surprisingly, it was Valeera who spoke first. “And if it’s not some ‘childish notion’ as you say? What then? What if Tess truly never comes to love Anduin, and never stops loving the woman she does? You’ve already lost one child, Genn, how would it feel to lose the other knowing she resented you?” 

Genn whirled on her, “How fucking dare you insinuate that I would hurt her! That I would make her hate me! I’m  _ helping  _ her, bitch! And Anduin is being too childish to realize that!” 

“I am not being childish, Genn, you are! Your obsession with having grandchildren despite the clear distress the idea puts Tess through is abhorrent! You treat your own child as if she is nothing more than an object for you to sell off at market and you have the audacity to claim that this man behind me is the monster? Look at your fucking self, Genn.” Genn’s growl increased again until it was nearly a roar, but before he could speak Anduin continued, “Now see yourself out of my home before I have you forcibly removed!”

Valeera drew her daggers and steadied her footing, and Nathanos took his bow from his back to follow suit, but didn’t knock an arrow yet, remembering what Anduin had asked of him earlier. Though, he supposed it hadn’t taken more than being present to send Genn into a rage, so knocking an arrow probably couldn’t hurt. 

Before Nathanos could make his mind up, however, Genn snarled at him and then stormed out of the room, nearly knocking over a concerned-looking Lorna Crowly who had been rapidly coming toward them from across the throne room with a mildly frazzled looking Keira behind her. Both women paused for a moment, allowing some of the tension to drain from the war room, before resuming their walk at a much more casual rate.

“My King, I hate to bother you after that, and I am sorry I couldn’t get here in time to intervene, but I was hoping I could speak to you for a moment about the betrothal?” Lorna’s voice was soft and apologetic, and she fidgeted with the rose in her hair nervously.

Anduin took a deep breath and released it in a sigh, “Of course, Lady Crowly, what is it that concerns you?”

“Not all too much, really, I just wanted you to know that I have been researching the laws of betrothals and how to annul them in your legislature here in Stormwind and I have found a way to do so. The problem is that you would need the agreement of the entire House of Lords to do so even as King, or an equivalent council. One way or the other, you’re not going to be able to get away from Genn’s influence.” She continued to fuss with the flower, “Also, Tess has told me that she wishes to speak to you later this evening regarding an assignment she hopes you will allow her to undertake. I know it’s been a stressful day already and I truly am sorry to burden you so.”

“No, no, it’s no burden. It’s my duty as King to handle matters such as these, especially when they relate to my person so directly. I… I hate to ask this of you, Lorna, but is there any way you or your father could sway Genn away from the betrothal? I know that Darius and Genn are close friends, and perhaps his perspective would be enlightening?”

Lorna shook her head, “I’m afraid I already tried that. My father spoke with Genn last night, said something quite similar to what you did in fact, about how what Genn was trying with Tess made him a monster worse than the curse ever could have. But Genn wouldn’t listen, and if he won’t listen to Tess, or me, or even my father, then Light help us all the only person he might ever listen to is Mia, and we all know how meek she is around him when he’s angry like this.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Anduin sounded defeated, like he was fighting a battle he already knew he would lose, “Could you prepare a list of where you found the information on how I would go about annulling the betrothal so that I can look into the specifics and see what I need to do?”

“Of course, King Wrynn, I’ll hand that over to Keira when I’m finished and have her deliver it to you by tomorrow morning,” Lorna bowed at the waist, “Thank you again for your ear, and… well, thank you for helping Tess like this, I suppose.”

“She is a good woman, she would deserve better than a man who isn’t interested on principle even if she were interested herself. Which we both know she’s not,” they shared a private smile, something knowing in the look that Nathanos slowly realized was solidarity of a sort, “I’m sure you have things to attend to so I won't keep you. If you see your father, please extend my gratitude for his help in trying to persuade Genn away from this?”

“I would be happy to. Thank you again,” she bowed once more and took her leave. 

As she left, Keira stepped forward and held out a letter, wax already broken but appearing to hold the seal of the Ebon Blade, “Letter came for you last night, my Liege. I wasn’t able to intercept it before Princess Greymane got to it, unfortunately, but no one else ‘as seen it. I also ‘ave a feeling that whatever’s in it ‘as to do with what the Princess might be askin’ of you later today.”

“Thank you for your diligence, Keira, I know Tess is very good at inserting herself where perhaps she doesn’t belong, but I trust her enough not to worry,” he took the letter and paused to read it over what looked to be a few times. “I suspect you’re correct that she’ll be approaching me about the contents of the letter, as well. You’re dismissed for now, and thank you again.”

She curtseyed, “Of course, my Liege, just doing my duty to the Crown.”

Anduin smiled at that, as did Valeera, and Nathanos felt very suddenly that he was missing something. Whatever it was, they clearly weren’t going to mention it, and moved on to discuss the letter instead.

“Highlord write back about reinforcements?” Valeera asked in Thalassian.

“Yes, that is precisely what it is. He specifically asked for one or a couple talented scouts or rogues who could help him infiltrate certain camps where most of his Knights could otherwise not. It would be the perfect assignment for Tess, especially if she’s trying to get away from her father right now.”

“Dangerous, though,” Valeera replied, “I’m sure she knows that, too. But I worry about her motivations if this marriage is as unavoidable as it’s starting to seem it may be.”

“You think she wants an assignment she won’t come back from? That… that doesn’t sound like Tess, not at all, but then again Genn has been sounding less and less like himself lately and I’m starting to think maybe I don’t know people as well as I should,” Anduin looked saddened by the thought.

“People change, Anduin, don’t forget about that. Nevermind that you’ve been sounding less and less like yourself as well because of this whole thing. I’ve known you since you were a boy and never once have I heard you properly raise your voice like that. You almost sounded like your father.” 

Anduin grimaced, “I suppose I did lose my temper for a moment there. Fuck, the last thing I need it to start developing my father’s habit of yelling. I loved him so much, but that was admittedly one of his worst qualities.”

“I hate to interrupt your conversation, whatever it is you’re saying, but that letter seems to be from the Highlord, or the Ebon Blade at least, and if you would allow me to know the contents however vaguely it would help me gauge whether I should be returning to Stranglethorn or the Ebon Hold,” Saleme spoke up from behind the three of them, making all of them jump just a hair. How someone in full plate could seemingly disappear from notice was frankly a little concerning, but they certainly were good at it. 

“Ah, of course. My apologies, I honestly forgot you were there for a moment,” Anduin looked a little sheepish but the knowing smile they gave him said that it was a common enough occurrence that they weren’t offended, “The Highlord has requested an Alliance scout to be sent to Northrend to help with effort there. Given your tendency toward non-detection I at least would suspect you would be of great use there as well.”

“Thank you, King Wrynn. Please give my well wishes to your spymaster when he awakes. Good day,” and with that they turned and opened a portal to the Ebon Hold, promptly disappearing and leaving Nathanos, Anduin, and Valeera alone in the war room--except for Deva of course, but she wasn’t exactly going to be partaking in any conversations.

Anduin stepped forward to rest his palms on the table, hanging his head down with a sigh, and Valeera jumped up to sit on the table beside him. “Are you alright, little brother?” she asked, switching the conversation back to Thalassian.

“Too many emotions around me and I think I’m going mad,” Anduin’s voice was strained and he sounded utterly exhausted. 

“Oh, right. I’m sorry, I’m probably not being much help with all I’m worried about things right now. How about you go up to your chambers and rest and I’ll use my new title as spymaster to fend off the nobles for the day?” she lifted his face with her hand and looked at him with the kind of concern one only saw in the face of a parent or older sibling, the kind that seemed at least one part guilt at all times, and then leaned forward to press a kiss to his forehead. She looked up to Nathanos, “You take him upstairs and give him space, alright? He needs to be away from people right now.”

Nathanos nodded to her, and with a final look of concern at Anduin, she left the room as well. 

“It’s the empathy thing you told me about, right?” Nathanos asked.

“Yeah. I’m kind of surprised you remembered.” The young King ran a hand through what hair had loosened itself from the tie he kept it in and sighed, “Well, let's head upstairs. No need to keep a distance, you don’t affect me the way others do.”

Nathanos’s mind provided a million quips to what Anduin had said, but the exhaustion so clearly written on his face stayed his tongue. Not wanting to seem too complacent though, he did allow himself to roll his eyes and growl just a little at any and all passing guards as he followed Anduin to his chambers. 

When they arrived, Anduin immediately began taking his armor off, though he was careful enough to not drop it on the floor as he went. Nathanos trailed behind him as he entered his bedchamber and placed the pieces of armor on an armor rack as he finished removing them. “You’re welcome to spend the hours I sleep in the main room or just generally around, you don’t have to stay here and watch me,” Anduin told him, turning to face him as he slipped the light tunic he wore under his armor over his head. 

“Would you prefer I didn’t or are you saying that because you think I don’t want to?” 

Anduin looked at him like it was an absurd question, “Are you implying you  _ want _ to watch me sleep for a number of hours?” 

“Well, no. But I will if my King wishes me to.” Nathanos tried not to be pleased at how that made Anduin blush. 

“That won’t be necessary, Nathanos. Just stay in the main room, read or something if you’d like but please put things back where you found them when you’re done. If I’m not awake in three hours please wake me, I would like to be able to sleep tonight.” 

Nathanos bowed and removed himself from the room, but paused at the jamb to look over his shoulder, “Would you like Devastation to stay with you? For safety of course.”

“Yes, safety,” Anduin replied distantly, smile curling on his lips, “I would prefer her to stay if you won’t be needing her.” 

“As my King commands,” and he motioned Deva to stay with Anduin. He also observed that for some reason, it was wherever he called him ‘my King’ that the blush colored his cheeks that delightful pink. Nathanos made a note to test this theory further in the future. 

For the next few hours Nathanos browsed the books on Anduin’s shelves and looked at the objects around the mini-library that was the main chamber of the King’s rooms. As three hours was about to pass Nathanos heard his name called from the bedchamber and returned quickly, only to find Anduin futilely trying to push Deva off of him from where she was ‘sleeping’ across his torso. Nathanos of course could tell she was not asleep, but seemed to think the young King should be and was trying to keep him in bed so he could do so. 

“Deva, up.” He barked at her, and she lifted her head to look at him with betrayal in her eyes, before rising and shaking out her coat. She licked Anduin’s face, making him giggle and scratch behind her ears, then jumped down off the bed and resumed her typical posture as a plaguehound. 

When Nathanos looked back to the King he was standing nude just beside the bed, seemingly paused between the bed and the dresser where clothes would be to look at him with something akin to delight and amusement, “You say she isn’t a pet and yet you call her for short something that, essentially, means  _ angel _ in Thalassian?”

Nathanos just glared, “That nickname doesn’t leave this room, Wrynn.” 

“Sure, no problem Nathanos,” Anduin snickered, but returned to finding clothing nonetheless. 

Nathanos found his eyes drawn to the large expanse of pale skin currently available to view, but pulled his gaze away out of respect, or perhaps it was because he would rather not have the sight haunt his waking thoughts for the next month, stirring some keen desire in the pit of his stomach all the while. 

“You can look now, you know,” Anduin said breezily as he walked across to the vanity to brush out his hair and retie it in a low tail.

“I don’t quite understand how you have so little care for modesty, my King,” Nathanos replied, watching the man’s face closely in the mirror. Sure enough, a soft pink dusted his cheeks at the title.

“Pandaria was a harrowing experience in some ways, but time in the Horde camp, and on the ship before then, did change my perspective a bit on nudity generally,” Anduin explained, something darker coming over his expression at the mention of the ship, “But nonetheless I do find your shyness around it strange, though perhaps a tad endearing.”

Nathanos growled, disgusted, “I’m not  _ endearing _ , Wrynn!”

“Whatever helps you… well not sleep at night but you know what I mean,” the young King laughed and Nathanos scoffed to hide his own chuckle. 

A knock at the main door interrupted what peace and humor had filled the room, and they both heard Keira’s voice call from behind it, “Permission to enter, m’ Liege? I ‘ave dinner for you as well as a guest?” 

Anduin straightened from his chair at the vanity and headed into the main chamber, Nathnos trailing behind almost naturally, “Please enter, Miss Keira. And good evening Tess.” 

The door opened to indeed reveal both Keira and Tess Greymane, who was dressed in noble if masculine citizens clothes rather than her standard rogue's attire. Keira immediately brought in a cart and began to set out dishes for dinner while Tess sauntered in at a much more sedate pace, an amused smile on her lips.

“I should have figured you’d know it was me,” she smirked at Anduin.

“To be fair, your girlfriend warned me you wanted to come speak to me, so I was expecting you at some point this evening.” 

Tess’s cheeks darkened, “She isn’t my  _ girlfriend, _ Anduin.”

“And yet you knew exactly who I was talking about,” Anduin smirked back, clearly enjoying teasing her. 

“I-- Well-- But…” Tess stuttered, before settling on a very ladylike, “Just fuck off.” 

Anduin snorted, “How graceful.”

“My greatest apologies for my inept behaviour in front of your Majesty,” she curtseyed deeply but mockingly, and Anduin just laughed clearly understanding it to be a joke. Given the playful smirk she wore, he was right.

Tess’s eyes turned to Nathanos and she seemed to pause and calculate for a moment. “I suppose he’ll be joining us for dinner?” she asked, doing nothing to hide her distaste.

“Yes, he is my bodyguard now, it would be improper for him not to.” Anduin sighed, “I’m not expecting you to like it, but… Well, at least you didn’t call him  _ it _ like your father did.”

Tess winced, “That is a bit much, even for someone like Bli--” she cleared her throat, “Sorry,  _ Marris.  _ But then again, given what my father has said to me of late, I’m hardly surprised.” 

“I really am sorry, Tess. I wish there was more I could do to put an end to his foolishness,” Anduin replied, reaching out and placing a friendly hand on her shoulder. 

Keira finished placing the dishes on the table and turned to Nathanos, “M’ Lord Marris, I prepared a cup o’ tea for you this evening if you’d wish for it? I know you don’t eat anythin’ but I figured something warm to occupy your ‘ands might be nice.” 

She placed a small mug of what smelled like strongly spiced tea on the table, “It’s masala and fennel spiced red brush from Durotar. I’ve 'eard that the Undead 'ave a weaker sense of taste so I made it particularly strong, ‘ope that suits your standards.” 

Nathanos gave a terse smile, “I’m sure it will be fine.” Secretly, he was glad for the woman bringing him tea, and something he’d be able to taste at that, but frankly, he was too busy noticing how Tess’s glare softened at the mention of the cup of tea to be particularly polite about it. Clearly, whoever Keira was she wasn’t some simple maid, and her real identity was someone of importance enough that a cup of tea with the right ingredients could placate Tess Greymane’s rage toward him. Interesting indeed. 

Keira curtseyed to the room, and departed as quickly as she’s entered. Tess and Anduin took their respective seats at the table, and Nathanos followed suit. 

“If Lorna warned you that I meant to speak to you then I’m assuming she also told you that the process of annulling the betrothal will be complicated, yes?” Tess asked, cutting into the generous portion of lamb on her plate.

“Yes. I asked her to show me her research so that I could start working on the process of annulment sooner rather than later. I’m hoping that an argument from the crown will at the very least pause the process of marriage until the complaint has been handled.”

Tess nodded, “Smart thinking, and you’re probably right but it would be good to check just in case.” 

Anduin gave her a smile and continued eating, and for a time they sat and ate in silence. Eventually, Anduin broke the quiet, "Tess I was told that you meant to come see me about an assignment and me and Valeera have a suspicion it has to do with the position in Northrend. Are we correct in this assumption?"

"Yes, you are. I'd been told you had asked the Highlord if he needed reinforcements so when I saw the letter with the Ebon Blade's seal I took the liberty of reading it, naturally." She smiled at Anduin in a way that was not quite meek, but showed she knew she wasnt supposed to, "the position described seems best suited to someone of my talents so I would request you to assign it to me."

"And this request has nothing to do with the marriage or your recent altercations with Genn?" Anduin asked, looking just a hint unimpressed.

Tess crossed her arms, "Whether I'm trying to get away from my dad or not is not the point here, my King. I am the best suited in your arsenal for the position that is currently able to do so because of position and wellness. You’d normally sent Sanguiar I’m sure, but she is acting spymaster now and I doubt she’d be able to leave Stormwind with any haste and for any substantial lenght of time.”

“I’m not going to convince you out of this am I, Tess?” Andiun sighed, “This mission is dangerous, more dangerous perhaps that what we’ve done before. You’ll be alone in a dangerous environment with Light knows how many of the Banshee Queen’s minions looking for you at all times, and that isn’t even to start with what might happen if you end up facing Sylvanas herself. No one has any news of her but she is bound to be somewhere in the area and given her enmity with your line I have a strong feeling that you would be a fitting prize for her. Listen, Tess, I respect you, and your choices, but I can’t in good conscious send you on something so dangerous knowing how strained your relationships are here and the fact that you are the Greymane heir, whether you like it or not. You father would kill me if anything happened to you under my orders a--”

“I am not a child, Anduin!” She put her cutlery down with a force that seemed contained for how angry she was, “I am not some little girl that needs to be protected and sheltered! As heir it is my decision what to do with my life, not my father’s. The family line is as much  _ mine _ as it is his, and we both know that I have no intention of continuing it anyway. It ends with me now or it ends with me later, why should the timing matter? I am the best suited for this task, and if you’re going to be a childish coward that is too afraid of my father to acknowledge that then Light help us all I’ll ask Mograine to send me my damn self.” 

She was seething, teeth bared, and Anduin looked away, “I”m sorry Tess, you’re right. It… It is not my duty or responsibility to maintain your family line, nor is it fair for me to deny you an assignment you wish for simply because I fear what your father may or may not do when he learns of it. But…” And he paused, like he was trying to string together words that didn’t seem to come to him, “Please just promise me you’re not taking the assignment because you know your chances of coming back are slim? We know that death in the field is a risk for all agents and soldiers, but I can’t send you in good conscious if you’re actively seeking it.” 

Tess deflated all at once, “I’m not trying to kill myself, Anduin, not by your sword or any others. I know it will be dangerous, and honestly I’m a little terrified, but I also know I’m one of your best and it is my duty to the Alliance to offer my skills.”

“Good, good. I just had to be sure,” Anduin said, relieved, then straightened and looked up at Tess again, “I’ll issue the official order tomorrow morning that you are to be assigned to Northrend in aid of the Knights of the Ebon Blade. You’ll leave in three days, say what farewells you wish in that time and prepare as best you can, you likely won’t be able to send word back for some time once you’ve arrived.” 

“Thank you, my King,” she replied with a small seated bow, “I will prepare and be ready to leave as soon as I can.”

The table lapsed back into silence as they continued to eat as it seemed they had all run out of anything to talk about. At one point Anduin tried to start a conversation with, “So tell me about Lorna,” but was quickly silenced by a sharp glare from Tess. When they’d finished with their meals and Nathanos with his tea--and Deva with the less than sneakily handed over pieces of lamb that Anduin had been giving her all night--Anduin called in an attendant to clear the plates and Tess stood to leave. 

“Thank you again for granting my request, my King, and for dinner.” She bowed, and gave Anduin a small, teasing smile, “I hope your evening treats you well.”

“Have a good evening, Princess Greymane, and good luck with Genn.” 

She somehow managed to smile and grimage at once as response, and promptly left the room. Nathanos just barely heard on the edge of his peripheral Lorna ask something of Tess--it sounded like  _ how did it go? _ \-- and he couldn't even be surprised that the woman had been lurking outside the King’s chambers waiting for Tess to leave. 

Anduin, for his part, thanked the attendant then headed for his office, and Nathanos and Deva trailed behind him as he did. The room was not large but densely furnished with books, a massive Maple desk, and a small bar and a set of shelves that held an assortment of liquors. Even at a glance, much of it was clearly high quality and likely accumulated over many years of Wrynn Kings receiving gifts of fine Whiskey, Gin and other liquors from various friendly factions. Many of the bottles, Nathanos also noted, held the mark of Ironforge. 

Sitting behind the massive desk Anduin looked dwarfed, like a child wearing his father’s clothes, and briefly Nathanos was struck by how young the King really was. Barely a man really, barely of an age to drink in some places, and yet despite everything he had suffered throughout his life he was nothing but kind, compassionate, dare he say delicate. The sallowness of his eye sockets, however, and the small lines that formed around his eyes when he concentrated, showed that the stress of ruling, fatherless, at 13, and of standing up against Hellscream in the name of both the Alliance and the Horde at 18, not to speak of the years in between or the recent loss of his father and the war with the Horde, had weathered him immensely. Nathanos almost wouldn’t be surprised if he started greying at 25 like Proudmoore had.

“Is there something on my face, Nathanos?” the young King asked without looking up from his paperwork.

Nathanos looked away quickly, feeling oddly scolded, “I wasn’t staring at you imbicile.”

Anduin looked up, a smirk curled into the corner of his mouth, “I didn’t say you were.” 

“I…” Nathanos squinted, pursing his lips, “Don’t you have work to do, my King?”

“I always have work to do,” Anduin’s smirk faded to a small grimace and Nathanos felt a sharp twist of something akin to guilt in his chest, “You know you don’t have to just stand there and watch me work, right? I won’t be offended if you do work of your own, Mathias used to get a lot of his paperwork done while I was doing mine here in this office.”

Nathanos raised a brow, “And just what ‘paperwork’ do you think I need to get done? Last I checked the only official position I have in this castle curretly is as your personal guard, and unless you’re thinking of assigning me reports there isn’t any work that comes with that position.”

“Oh, yes I do suppose you wouldn’t have any work to get done,” he conceded, “Perhaps you would like to read or study during my hours of paperwork then? I’m sure you’ll get rather bored just sitting there doing nothing and I don’t need the distraction of you fidgeting or staring.”

“I’ll make sure not to be a nuisance, my King,” Nathanos said with as much put-upon sarcasm as he could muster despite the fact that, strangely, he actually found he meant every word of the statement. Silently, he thought is was rather a decent idea to read, he hadn’t exactly been educated on things such as the noble houses of Stormwind or how their government worked as a child or in the Farstriders, and if he was intending to stay here it would be good for him to learn at least the current state of city politics and events. Not that he had any intention of conceding to the King’s suggestion so readily or so soon, of course. 

“Please do,” Anduin squinted at him, but returned to his work quickly enough. 

As evening passed into night, Nathanos found himself bored, trying not to fidget too much but earning a glare from Anduin every once and while nonetheless. He also found himself corrected from his…  _ observation _ of the younger man with a softly cleared throat and a “You’re staring again.” Irritating as it may have been, Nathanos was resolute not to simply do as Anduin had asked and find himself something to do, a little pleased with his own game of seeing how long he could stare or futz for before being corrected. It wasn’t until he realized he’d been memorizing the names of the various Ironforge Whiskeys on the liquor shelf that he decided it would be a good idea to bring something to read for any further hours he had to spend cooped up in this office. 

After more hours than Nathanos cared to count, Anduin rose from his position at the table and stretched out his back with his arms over his head. The action made the lower hem of his shirt rise just enough to show a sliver of pale, unblemished skin that drew Nathanos’s gaze against his better judgement. When Anduin lowered his arms, Nathanos’s eyes flicked back up only to meet the young King’s gaze, and he quickly looked away from the curious interest he saw in those blue depths. 

“I thought I told you not to stare, Nathanos.” Anduin said, but his voice was light and teasing rather than scolding like it had been before.

“I wasn’t staring, my King, I assure you,” Nathanos replied, trying and failing to sound anything less than a little defensive.

“Of course, my apologies.  _ Leering, _ then.” 

Nathanos’s gaze snapped up to meet Anduin’s trying desperately to gauge what the fuck that was supposed to mean. Unfortunately for him, the King’s expression was something of neutral amusement, perhaps teasing perhaps not, and there was no way he could find to suss out what Anduin was getting at without just asking him.

“I don’t know the meaning of the word,” He snarked with put-on disgust.

“Well, I don’t have a dictionary, but generally it means to look at someone like you want to eat them, in a less than literal way of course,” Anduin’s voice was gentle, teasing, and he came around the side of his desk to lean a hip against it, crossing his arms and looking Nathanos up and down. 

For the death of him Nathanos could not figure out what he was getting at, “It’s late and you should probably retire for the evening, my King.” 

“Worried about me, Nathanos?” 

“If you dropped dead when I was the only other person in the room, I have no doubt Greymane would rip my throat from my body without asking for any evidence I was at fault so, yes, I rather would prefer you didn’t die while I was in charge of your safety,” He snapped, turning away from Anduin’s relaxed posture and enticing voice exasperated.

Anduin sighed behind him, “Right, well in that case I think I’ll find my way to bed. You’re welcome to wander the castle for the night, though I would ask you to stay in the area just in case assassins get any ideas now that Shaw’s out of commission.”

Logically, Nathanos knew the last part was mostly a joke--if the King were genuinely concerned about assassins he would have far better security than just one man, and one of questionable allegiance at that--but the idea of Anduin being set upon in his sleep while Nathanos was supposed to be there to protect him made something fierce and possessive curl in his chest like a mother wolf defending her pups. Inconvenient as the feeling was, Nathanos knew he wouldn’t be able to ignore it, and thus resigned himself to a night spent in the King’s chambers reading, “I will remain here. Perhaps it’s time I properly perused your immense book collection.”

“You’re welcome to,” Anduin smiled at him over his shoulder as he walked passed where Nathanos stood just past the door to the office, “The romance novels are all on the shelf closest to the shield display, near the top.” The boy even had the audacity to wink.

Nathanos just growled at him and said nothing, not able to think up a good quip, watching him retreat to his bedchamber for the second time that day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a Christmas Miracle! Sorry this took so much longer than usual, and sorry it is itself so long!! I was busy working on way too many crochet projects for Christmas gifts and didn't have time to finish this sooner. I'm posting just about as soon as I finished so if there are mistakes I'm sorry, I haven't really read over it too much. Happy holidays y'all, enjoy <3
> 
> Also, sorry for the re-title, I just was getting sick of the one I'd picked and wanted something a little more serious given the more serious and more plot-driven direction this fic seems to be taking itself


	7. Just a Breath Removed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the verge of almost bleeding you out  
> Are we too wounded now to ever come down?  
> Oh, how I long for us to find common ground  
> I got nothing but you on my mind  
> I'm not ready to be just another of your mistakes  
> Don't wanna let the pieces fall out of place  
> I was only just a breath removed from going to waste  
> Till I found salvation in the form of your...  
> Your grace  
> \--Lewis Capaldi, "Grace"

“What’s with the face?” Anduin asked from his desk, and Nathanos looked up over the edge of the _A_ _Brief History of Stormwind’s Nobility_ he was reading from the chair in the corner. How Shaw used to get work done from the small space Nathanos would never understand, he could barely fold all his limbs into some semblance of neatness so that he didn’t knock things over to his right or left. 

“Did the Ridgewell family really once attempt to take the throne from Llane Wrynn because he was suspected of cheating in a game of cards thus revealing a  _ distasteful character for a King _ ?” Nathanos asked, appalled, “Also, the prose style of this book is atrocious. It's the reading equivalent of chopping onions.”

Anduin snorted, “I can’t say with certainty, but it wouldn’t surprise me in the least. The House of Lords is notorious for finding any and every thing they can use against my family to try and get us out of power. Thankfully for us, any actual removal of my family’s power would require them all to  _ agree  _ on something, and Light knows that will never happen.”

“I suppose that is fortunate, yes,” Nathanos allowed himself a chuckle, “I’ll let you get back to your work, my King.”

Anduin smiled at him but turned back to the paper in his hands with a glare, “Speaking of the Ridgewells, actually, I could use your help with something if you have the time and discretion.”

“Anything, my King,” Nathanos replied easily, pleased when Anduin’s cheeks darkened just slightly.

“Perhaps not tonight but a night soon would you be able to look for Lord Ridgewell’s son Jorah about the town and find evidence of his… activities shall we say? Emery is trying to use you against me, claiming my inviting you into my court is a sign that I have become unable to make decisions and should abdicate the throne--to him of course. I want to remind him that his own position in this petty society is no more stable than mine.”

Nathanos’s brows raised, “Of course, my King. A bold move, might I add.”

“This is nothing, you should see what I had to do when they found out I’d let Saurfang live.” He shook his head, seemingly amused, though something sad filled his eyes at the mention of his lost friend.

“I’ll be sure to get concrete evidence for you to threaten this Lord with.”

Anduin tsked at him, “It’s not  _ threatening _ , Nathanos, it's simply a little reminder of what he has to lose.”

Nathanos snorted, “Sure, my King. Whatever you say.”

He rolled his eyes, but after that Anduin did actually return to his work this time. Nathanos, in turn, returned to his book, and the many pages of poorly written accounts of court inanity and idiocy it contained. That morning Keira had come with breakfast and a note from Lorna that described her research into the betrothal annulment, which Anduin promptly read and started planning around. He’d also sent off the order for Tess’s reassignment to Northrend with Keira when she had departed.

Anduin had chosen to spend a good portion of the morning and on into the afternoon holding court and attending to the needs of the city and his people. It had been decidedly boring to stand in the shadows watching for any motions against him, though Nathanos had found small pleasures in seeing the nobles so hesitant around Deva, who he’d left at Anduin’s side in full view of the court, and at flashing just his red, gleaming eyes from the shadows at anyone idiotic enough to threaten the King verbally. By the time they retired to the office, Anduin looked exhausted, but rather than resting he simply ordered a pot of coffee and settled down to start on paperwork.

Now, a few hours later, the two men sat in the office in comfortable quiet, both attending to irritating but necessary work and research. Soon enough they would likely take a break for dinner, and though Nathanos didn’t eat he was sorely in need of getting up and stretching out his limbs. Strange, really, how being in the presence of Anduin made him less able to stay perfectly still in one place like his Hunter training normally permitted, but though it was inexplicable and inconvenient, he found himself restless and fidgety nonetheless. 

As if on cue, Keira’s familiar by now knock echoed from the main chamber and Anduin pushed away from his desk. “Please come in Keira,” he called.

Nathanos heard before he saw the door open and a cart roll in with accompanying soft footsteps. When he and Anduin made it to the main room again Keira was already setting food out on the table for Anduin, as well as placing a strongly scented mug in front of where Nathanos had sat the evening before. She gave the two of them a curtsy before leaving without a word. 

Anduin sat and began his usual ritual of separating off small chunks of meat to give to Deva, making Nathanos sigh as he took his own seat, “You really shouldn’t spoil her like that, my King.” 

“I think you’re just afraid she’ll like me more than you if I keep it up,” Anduin quipped, grinning.

“I’m just afraid she’ll end up getting out of shape from the fatty food and lack of exercise she gets in the castle,” Nathanos retorted, adding under his breath, “Never mind that she already does like you more.”

“Hmm? Sorry what was that last part? I don’t think I heard you properly, could you repeat it?” Anduin was clearly teasing him, but the brightness in his eyes was so joyful and keen it made Nathanos’s chest ache. 

“I definitely said nothing. I’m sure.” Nathanos squinted at him, “Whatever you heard was certainly a delusion.” 

“Unfortunate, that. I was certain I thought I heard you say you would always be Deva’s favorite no matter how much she liked me. You’re right though, I must have been imagining it, she clearly loves me more.” 

“You--!” Nathanos let a growl slip out, but couldn’t even find it in himself to be angry with Anduin’s trickery when he laughed in joy at his response. Humor looked good on the young King’s face, and making him laugh so genuinely made Nathanos’s stomach swoop happily. 

They settled back into a comfortable quiet as Anduin began to eat and Nathanos sipped his tea. Distantly, he wondered at how easy it was to simply exist around Anduin without needing to speak or act in any put-upon way, but he distracted himself from the idea by trying to give Deva a scolding glare when she would press her nose against Anduin’s thigh asking for scraps. The King always conceded her begging and it was a bad habit for both of them. 

The meal concluded quickly, and with little fanfare, and soon enough Nathanos found himself once again cramped up in the small chair in the back corner of Anduin’s office. He picked up the book he’d been studying before dinner but paused before he started reading when he heard the telltale clink of glass, looking up to see Anduin standing at the small bar. 

He poured himself a tall glass of something amber in color, and looked over his shoulder in Nathanos’s direction, “You don’t drink, do you?”

“Never quite developed a taste for it, and liquor doesn’t do anything for me anymore unless it’s exceptionally potent. So, no.” Nathanos watched the young King shrug and cap the bottle, placing it back on the shelf where it had come from, “Where did you pick up the habit anyway? It seems unusual for someone so young to have such refined taste in liquor, even someone of your station.”

“The honest truth is that I don’t have a refined taste, not for liquor anyway. Wine? Sure, I was trained to taste all the different notes in wine starting at 16 so that I could properly impress dinner guests, but with liquor like this the only thing I can determine is what it is and if it’s shit quality or decent. All these bottles were just here already when I inherited the office, save a few that are not nearly as nice that I picked up in Boralus, and I honestly don't know what most of them are.” Anduin smiles down at the glass a little forlorn, “Sometimes I get Valeera to boot me bad whiskey, just so I can feel normal when I need to get properly sloshed, but she’ll be a little busy with her work for a while so I guess the nice stuff will have to suffice.”

“I hope you’re not trying to guilt me into buying you pirate grog, my King, because it won’t work.”

“Really now? And here I thought I had you wrapped around my little finger,” Anduin teased.

Nathanos crossed his arms, “Hardly, but even if you did, the first emotion to go when I undied was guilt and its not coming back any time soon. If you want me to do something like that, order me or forget it.” 

Anduin hummed consideringly, but didn’t speak, instead returning to his paperwork and leaving Nathanos to return to his reading. What peaceful, comfortable quiet had settled over the room was abruptly broken not even 20 minutes later when there was shouting at the door to the main chamber, which quickly slammed open and Greymane stumbled through to the office. The man was evidently drunk, reeking of whiskey and ale and stumbling as he stomped into the room, leaning on the door frame for support. 

“YOU!” Greymane roared, pointing at Anduin who looked at him with some combination of irritation and worry, “I am at my wits end, boy! I am of a mind to gather the council because you have clearly lost your mind and are no longer fit to rule. First, you invite this  _ thing _ into your court, then into your rooms like it belongs here. Then, you send it away with your most trusted Spymaster who coincidentally almost dies while away on the mission. Then,  _ then!,  _ you refuse to marry my daughter despite the benefit doing so would have to both of our families and that it would guarantee an heir to the Wrynn line.

“As if that weren’t already enough for me to question your sanity, now I learn you’re sending Tess away on a mission that will likely cost her her life?  **_You do all this and expect me not to think you insane? YOU SEND MY LAST CHILD AWAY TO DIE AND YOU EXPECT ME TO DO NOTHING?_ ** _ ” _

All parties present in the room flinched as Genn finished the tirade, his volume rising such that he could probably be heard in Silvermoon. Surprisingly enough, despite the anger being directly at him like a flaming arrow, Anduin managed to remain relatively calm, the tension in his jaw the only sign he was under any distress, “Genn, please, I am simply doing as Tess bid. She-”

“Is a child that doesn’t know what is best for her, as are you! It was a mistake to let you take the throne so young, you’re clearly too naive and stupid to be ruling anything including your own life. Without Shaw here to babysit you you’ve become nothing more than a sniveling toddler that does nothing right and its disgusting!” Gen snarled, body twitching as if the beast within was battling against a cage wishing for release. “You are dooming me and my family to death by sending her away and you have the audacity to say it’s what’s best for her. You are more heartless than your father for all you pride yourself on goodness.”

“It isn’t just your family, Genn, it’s Tess’s too! She has as much right as you to make a decision that would affect your futures. She is not a child any longer and neither am I, for all you may not believe that, and I am not going to allow myself to be walked all over because you’re older than me.” Anduin stood, squaring his shoulders and putting on what Nathanos realized was the air of King, “If you truly wish for the assignment to be changed, I will do so, but only on the condition that  _ Tess _ requests the change, not you. If you can convince your daughter against this action then I will happily find another scout to take her place.”

Greymane seethed, “You don’t respect what I say, acting as if Tess isn’t my subject as well as my child, and yet still expect me to cooperate with you? You think I’ll just walk away now without recompense for your assault to my family line?” 

Nathanos was grateful for the man’s drunkenness, because it made a normally imperceptible tensing of the feet far less subtle, and he was able to draw his dagger and move to intercept before Greymane was fully able to lunge at Anduin. A loud growl ripped itself from Genn’s throat, and he clawed at Nathanos in the space of the small room, but Nathanos knocked the swipe away with ease and readied himself for another strike. Just as Genn seemed about to shift into his worgen form a different growl reverberated through the room and he paused, looking over to the snarling plaguehound to his other side. 

A moment of silence only occupied by Deva’s snarling hung in the room as Greymane quickly considered his options, and realizing he was substantially outnumbered, stood down. “This isn’t over, boy!” He shouted at Anduin, turning on his heel and stalking out of the room with wobbly footing. 

Nathanos and Deva relaxed simultaneously when the main door to Anduin’s chambers slammed shut behind Genn, Nathanos sheathing his dagger and Deva immediately going to Anduin’s side to nose at his legs, whining. Anduin slumped into his chair, the persona of King dropped and looking smaller, younger, and altogether softer without it. The hardness to his eyes was gone and in its place shone unshed tears, bottom lip drawn between his teeth to keep it from trembling, and Deva propped her front paws up on the armrest so she could nuzzle and lick at his face and neck. 

“Thanks, Angel,” he said softly, voice thick, as he brought his hand up to pet through the thick fur around her neck and scratch behind her ears. The action seemed to comfort them both, and while Nathanos should have been irritated by having his nickname for her translated into common, instead he felt his heart swell at the clear concern Deva had for this man. She had never taken to someone so quickly before, and he was endeared even as he was a little annoyed by it. 

He was grateful too, he supposed, that Deva was there to comfort Anduin, to give him something firm to hold onto as the tears started streaking down his cheeks in little lines of starlight, because if she hadn’t been then Nathanos knew without a single doubt that he would have pulled the younger man into his own lap and held him, and that was a revelation he was both unprepared for and one he could not return from. Slowly, the emotions in the room settled, no evidence of Greymane’s interruption save the dried tracks of tears along Anduin's cheeks and a wrinkle in the rug from Nathanos’s footwork. Deva settled herself at Anduin’s side, resting against his leg, and the two men returned to their respective work.

After some time had passed, when the room had mostly returned to its state of comfortable if not quite peaceful silence, Nathanos found the guts to ask what had been bouncing around his head since the day before, “This has happened before hasn’t it? Him getting angry with you like this, I mean.”

“Genn’s always been known to have a temper, and though he normally points it quite well at the Horde sometimes there’s a little spill over. So to answer your question, yes, it’s happened quite a number of times before.”

“And the violence? Has he ever hurt you before?” Nathanos’s eyebrows pinched together and he tried to contain the anger clawing at his lungs at the thought of Greymane hurting Anduin in any way. Even the thought of the young King being harmed made his chest hurt, and the idea of that pain coming from someone he trusted and considered a friend was downright infuriating. He wanted in a sudden rush to strangle Greymane to death and watch the life bleed from his eyes, wanted to tear his limbs from his body while he lived and revel in his screams, wanted to see how many non-fatal injuries the old wolf could sustain before he just gave up the ghost and died, but Nathanos took a deep breath, taking in the smell of Anduin and the room--the mustiness of the heavy curtains and the familiar warmth of maple from the desk, the gentle fragrance Anduin used in his hair and the lavender soap he used to wash his skin--and calmed the rage burning inside him.  _ Now is not the time for anger _ , he reminded himself; vengeance could come later. 

Anduin didn’t respond to him immediately, simply staring at the glass of liquor on his desk that he hadn’t touched since Greymane’s arrival, and for a moment Nathanos started to think he wouldn’t answer, but eventually he did, “He has. Never successfully and only when he is very drunk, mind you, I’m a more powerful priest than he is a warrior when he’s like that, but he has attempted to hurt me before. Only a couple of times, but each time it pains me to see him like that, and even more to have to restrain and hurt him in order to save myself. I owe you my thanks, really, for getting in his way before I had to hurt him this time, there’s nothing that haunts me more than having to hurt my friend.” 

“He doesn’t seem to hold that same reservation,” Nathanos stated, bitterness on his tongue. 

“Perhaps not but… Genn was there for me when I lost my father, he supported me and helped me remember my duties despite my pain. He has been through a lot, his actions are not always driven by what he wants and when you add drink to the mix he acts outside himself a lot of the time. I know he cares for me, though, and he has done so much for me I… He has the right to feel betrayed when I do things like this that go against him. I should-”

“No,” Nathanos interrupted. “This was not your fault. Someone else going through something doesn’t give them an excuse to hurt you, nor does it mean you should be making accommodations for them that you wouldn’t make for others.”

“But I could have at least realized he would hear the news and gone to talk to him sooner, before he was so drunk. I should have seen it coming Nathanos, but I was too preoccupied thinking about the betrothal to care properly for my friend.”

“Do I need to remind you that without Greymane there wouldn't be a betrothal to worry about? My King you need to stop making concessions for him or he isn’t going to stop walking all over you,” Nathanos urged, but Anduin was shaking his head.

“It’s fine, Nathanos, he hasn’t ever hurt me properly and I understand where it’s coming from,” Anduin seemed resigned and the anger flared in Nathanos’s chest again.

He stood and crossed the small room to stand next to Anduin, tipping his face up and looking at him deeply. His thumb ran over one of the small lines of salt where tears had fallen not long ago, “Just because he did you no bodily harm, just because you can see why he’s acting this way, does  _ not _ excuse his abuse. I would kill him for this slight, should kill him for it, but that would only hurt you and that would get us nowhere.” Nathanos paused, his thumb still brushing Anduin’s cheek, and when he continued his voice was softer than it had probably ever been since his resurrection, “He made you  _ cry _ , Anduin, and that is more than enough hurt for me to consider it proper, even if you don’t.”

Anduin was staring at him wide-eyed, shadowy candlelight glinting off the deep blue of his eyes making the color seem darker and warmer than it normally did, “You called me by my name.” And there was something in his voice, a reverence almost, that made Nathanos’s heart seem to give a singular beat in his chest and his lungs squeeze. 

“Yeah,” he muttered and turned away hurriedly, returning to his chair and his book. He could feel Anduin’s eyes lingering on him as he tried to concentrate on the words in front of him, but he didn’t risk looking up to meet his gaze, fully aware that if he looked at him now, with that softness in his eyes and voice, he might just act on the desire to kiss him that had blossomed at the base of this throat. 

  
  


_ Two Days Later _

  
  


Sunlight streamed through a seam in the curtains and directly into Anduin’s face, making him turn his face into his pillow with a groan. As his senses returned to him with wakefulness, he realized he could hear the clattering of plates being set and soft voices from the main room, all muffled as if through a closed door.  _ Strange _ , he thought,  _ I could have sworn I left that open last night. _

He sat up, making sure to move out of the line of bright morning sunshine, and rubbed at his eyes with one hand, reaching out to give Deva a scratch where she laid on the bed next to him. Nathanos had started just leaving her with him by default before doing whatever it was he did throughout the night, clearly things he didn’t need her help with, claiming it helped ensure he would be safe while he slept. Anduin was doubtful that his safety was the main reason, but he’d grown fond of the plaguehound so he wasn’t going to point that out to Nathanos. 

Steeling himself for the coolness of the room, Anduin flipped the covers back and stood. He rushed over to the dresser and tossed on a shirt and woolen pants, then a sweater over top to keep him warm in the winter-chilled room. Now covered he was able to find socks and put on his boots with a little less haste, and finally he left the bedchamber whistling for Deva to follow him, which she did reluctantly, almost seeming to dislike the cold stone of the floor as much as he did. 

Valeera and Nathanos were seated at the small round table, both sipping from steaming mugs and speaking quietly when he walked in. They paused their conversation to look at him, Nathanos turning to look over his shoulder while Valeera simply changed the direction of her gaze slightly, and nodded to him.

“Good morning, my King,” Nathanos said jovially, “Keira brought in breakfast and coffee for you and Sanguinar.”

His good mood was odd, as was his respectful naming of both Keira and Valeera, but Anduin was still sleepy and didn’t have time to pick apart what could be causing Nathanos to act tolerably this morning. He nodded and came to sit in his usual seat, murmuring thanks to Valeera as she handed him a cup of coffee, and began to consume what had been placed in front of him. As he did, Valeera and Nathanos watched him, then met eyes and seemed to come to some conclusion before continuing their previous conversation. He realized belatedly that they were speaking in Orcish, which he only somewhat understood, and though he probably could have picked some meaning from the fragments he understood, he instead decided to focus on his meal and coffee and leave the details to what they felt like communicating in a language he better understood. 

“... speaking in Common?” Valeera was saying at some point, and Anduin realized that they were, indeed, speaking in Common and looked up quickly.

Nathanos snorted, “He is now, apparently.”

“What’s going on?” Anduin asked, confused but more awake now and able to start piecing bits together. Had they been talking about him?

“Nothing of concern, my King,” Nathanos replied, with a smirk. “I was just telling Sanguinar here about a little trip about town I took last night to find information about a certain Jorah Ridgewell for you, and how much of a package deal disguising myself as a worker at  _ The Scarlet Slipper _ for the night ended up being.”

Nathanos was grinning as if he hadn’t just admitted to pretending to be a prostitute for a night, so whatever it was he’d found must have been worth a great deal. “Were you able to find evidence of Jorah’s proclivities?”

“Oh yes, I even have a list of his kinks and a signed witness account of his nights with his doms waiting on your desk. The boy has a daddy kink a mile wide, I wonder why,” Nathanos said dryly, then chuckled, “But it gets better, my King. So much better. A certain young woman I worked alongside there was being sought out by none other than King Genn Greymane himself. Turns out his young son, when he still lived, had a bit of a thing for this young woman and was undeniably the cause of a child who’s turning five this year. And as it happens, Valeera and I have been reviewing the documentation for the betrothal and nowhere does it specify  _ which  _ heir, meaning you can amend it to be a betrothal to this child--not resulting in a marriage until they come of age in 13 years--without mussing a single thing legally or having to talk to the House of Lords at all. Last I checked, the reason you nobles hate bastards is because blood is blood, and illegitimate heirs are stills heirs nonetheless.”

Nathanos was smiling, genuinely smiling, and Anduin was almost so taken in by that fact in and of itself that his words didn’t sink in for a moment, but when they did Anduin felt his own grin quickly forming, “That’s fucking  _ incredible _ work, Nathanos!”

“I know, my King. I’m rather proud of myself, I must say,” Nathanos grinned, though it dimmed a smidgen as he continued, “Makes almost having to get fucked by that elderly Gnome worth it. Barely.”

He and Valeera shared a look and both shuddered. “Gross,” she agreed.

“Well, I am very grateful for you not only completing the task I assigned you but also fixing another of my problems at the same time. You truly are Light-sent Nathanos,” Anduin said, smiling at him brightly.

Nathanos snorted, “Not Light-sent, I don’t think, but I appreciate the sentiment nonetheless my King.”

“Well whatever it was that sent you has my thanks anyhow,” Anduin amended, looking in Nathanos’s glimmering red eyes and feeling not for the first time that people who saw them as anything less than akin to the shimmering of rubies were mad, “You have done far more to put me at ease than I think you can possibly know, Nath.”

He raised an eyebrow, “ _ Nath _ is it now?”

“Oh I-- I didn’t mean-- I…” Anduin blushed, looking to Valeera for help but only getting a smirk and a wink in response, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to shorten it like that. I call you by your first name because you don’t truly have another, as I’ve said, but it was an accident to shorten it. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not too offended,” he replied, seeming pleased with himself, “Though I would request you don’t call me such things in front of anyone less literally in charge of your secrets.”

Anduin’s blush deepened and he felt like his whole face was on fire, “Of course. I wouldn’t dream of revealing myself like that in front of someone less trustworthy.” 

Nathanos opened his mouth to speak again but Keira’s knock on the door interrupted him. “Please come in Keira,” Anduin called to her. 

Keira poked her head in and, looking to Valeera with a nod, proceeded to open the door wider and allow both Tess and Lorna to come into the room in front of her. She closed the door behind herself and moved around to the table, clearing plates and generally cleaning up after breakfast.

“Ah, good morning Tess, Lorna,” Anduin gave them a sunny smile. “You head out in an hour or so do you not, Tess?”

“I do, my Liege. In fact, Lorna and I were hoping to speak with you about the trip?” Tess waited for him to nod, then continued, “We wish to make the trip to Moa’ki Harbor together. Obviously once I get my orders from the Ebon Knights I will be off to do my own thing and she will not be coming with me, but for our travel and what time I have not on duty she would accompany me.”

“Princess Tess is of course a talented rogue and one of the Uncrowned, but that doesn’t mean she is not heir to Gilneas. I wish to act as a personal guard for the portions of the journey that I can to ensure her safety and comfort,” Lorna jumped in to explain, but Anduin didn’t entirely believe her. Sure, it was a more than legitimate reason for her to go, but he knew the women were close, and knew without any doubt that Tess was very much in love with Lorna. He wouldn’t be surprised in the least if those feelings were reciprocated. 

“I certainly don’t see why that would be a problem, it’s not as it the accommodations for two are any more work than one given most of your travel is by ship or portal. I’ll send word ahead to the Ebon Blade outpost in Grizzly Hills to expect you, though, just in case.” 

Lorna bowed, “Thank you, my King.”

“Of course, Lady Crowly. Was there anything else you wanted to discuss before your departure?” 

“No, that was all. Thank you again for allowing me to do this, Anduin, I know my father has been… difficult about it to say the least, but truly I appreciate this. I won’t forget it.” Tess bowed to him, and Lorna followed suit. 

“I wish you both a safe journey and you, Tess, a safe mission. Come home, please,” he nearly whispered, as if somehow saying it quietly enough would ensure none of the dark parts of the Universe would hear him and intervene. 

“Light willing,” Tess replied, softly as well. “Take care of my dad while I’m away, as best you can.”

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t get himself thrown in prison,” Anduin joked, but it fell a little flat when they both knew how likely that prospect was becoming. 

“Thanks, Anduin, for everything.”

The two women bowed one last time, and left the room with Keira trailing behind them. 

“So what’s your note to the outpost going to say, don’t put anyone else within three rooms of them?” Valeera threw him a dirty grin and Anduin blanched.

“ _ Valeera!” _ he scolded, squeezing his eyes closed and shaking his head, “Nope, nope, nope! I do  _ not _ need that image in my head thank you.”

Valeera laughed loudly and Anduin just sighed, he knew she was just teasing him even if he didn’t like it. Standing from the table, Anduin headed into his office and quickly penned a note to outpost explaining Lorna’s presence, and signed and sealed it before returning. “Please take this to one of the mages that can magically send it to the Death Knights for me,” he said to Valeera as he handed her the note and sat back down at the table.

“Right away.” She stood and gave him a mock salute before heading out the window.

“Why she can’t use the damn door I’ll never understand,” Anduin grumbled.

“Rogue thing, I think,” Nathanos replied. “Lilian used to be like that too, though luckily for us there aren’t so many windows to crawl in and out of in Undercity.” 

A shadow of something grim and perhaps sad passed over his features briefly at the mention of his old ally and home, but it passed quickly like a cloud over the sun. Anduin barely held back a snort at the mental comparison of Nathanos’s face to the sun--sure he was happier today than he had been in the past, but he was hardly a man of sunny disposition. 

“Is there something on my face?” he asked, and Anduin jumped, realizing he’d let his gaze linger on the man’s face longer than he’d intended.

“Sorry, I zoned out for a moment there. Didn’t mean to stare,” Anduin looked away, damn blush rising to his cheeks unbidden. 

Nathanos chuckled and Anduin cursed himself for how the sound made a pleased shiver run down his spine like cool fingers, “Sure you didn’t my King.” 

“Right. Anyway, I'm going to go over that report you left for me about Jorah Ridgewell before court today so that I can figure out how best to imply I have information without actually giving it away.”

“Ah, the good old rumors of blackmail are more effective than actual blackmail technique, I like it.” 

Anduin huffed, “I told you not to call it that, it makes me sound like an asshole.”

“It seems Jorah’s into those, so would that be so bad?” 

He couldn’t help but laugh, some of the tension easing from his shoulders, “If the rest of my court is unimpressed and said young man won’t hold his father’s position for some time yet? Probably.”

Nathanos hummed, seeming unconvinced, “Details, details.” 

They entered the office together, and Anduin was grateful for the comfort he found in Nathanos’s presence the way one is grateful for a free mount--you don’t look it in the mouth, and he wasn’t about to doubt how or why Nathanos was so easy to be around. Perhaps it was the lack of empathetic response he had to him, perhaps it was simply that the man had few emotions to pick up on anyway, or perhaps it was simply that they ‘clicked’ so to speak. His father had told him that was why he and Jaina had gotten along so well despite all their differences, that they had become fast and easy friends despite everything that separated them including but not limited to being in love with the same man and hating each other’s choice of weapon. 

Could he simply have that sort of easy connection to Nathanos? In many ways Anduin doubted it--he’d been around the man before he’d come to the castle and had always hated him, but he supposed something could have changed in one or both of them since then. If his suspicions that something about Nathanos’s personality and self were previously under the control of the Banshee Queen, or perhaps something bigger than her, then him liking the man much more now that he was free of that control seemed reasonable. More than reasonable, really, and if he liked him a little more than he probably should and in ways he probably shouldn’t? Well, he doubted anyone could blame him for it. 

The way his father had spoken of Jaina always had seemed so familial, and retrospectively he realized that ‘click’ was probably only so platonic because he wasn’t interested in her, or women generally for that matter. When it happened with someone you could be attracted to, was it normal for it to be more than just friendly? He didn't know, and his father wasn’t here for him to ask, and if he started asking those sorts of questions to Jaina she would figure out quickly who he was talking about and probably freeze both of their balls off just to make sure he didn’t act on it. He loved the woman like family, but Nathanos’s assessment that she could be… unstable at times, especially when she was angry, was hardly incorrect for all it was unkind. 

Anduin slumped behind his desk and quickly went through the reports and sorted them into piles based on importance, making sure Nathanos’s report was given top priority. As he began sorting, however, he realized that almost all of them were ending up in the top priority pile, and unfortunately few going to the low priority one, and after a quick count and a sigh he looked up at Nathanos, “Nathanos, could you please inform one of the guards to get word out that I will not be holding court today? I have an immensity of very pressing work to do here in my office and if anyone has anything so pressing it can’t wait until tomorrow they are welcome to come see me here.” 

Nathanos stood with a roll of his broad shoulder and nodded, “Of course, my King.” 

Waiting for him to get out of earshot, Anduin reached down into a drawer of his desk and drew out a small leather pouch that had Deva’s head perking up and tail twitching in what he’d come to realize was a very well contained wag of excitement. He pulled a little bit of dried meat that he’d gotten from a pet trainer out, “Shh, don’t let your master know I got these for you Angel, he’ll probably be mad.” 

Deva gently took the treat from his fingers then licked them clean and nosed at his leg in thanks. He let his fingers rub behind her ears and sink into the thick fur around her neck, comforted and happy in her presence. When he heard Nathanos’s footsteps returning he quickly slipped the small bag back into its drawer and sat back up to look like he’d been reading. The man quirked an eyebrow at him as he entered, but didn’t say anything as he returned to his self-appointed chair in the corner. 

They spend the rest of the day in silence doing their respective work, but Anduin felt himself distracted more easily than normal and his eyes were frequently drawn to Nathanos’s form when he’d chuckle under his breath at something in the book he read or even flip a page loudly. Really, anything the man did seemed to pique Anduin’s notice and he found his eyes straying to him without his permission. At one point, after they’d returned from a quick dinner he looked up only to meet the gleaming ruby of Nathanos’s eyes dead on, and he quickly returned to the report in front of him, embarrassed. 

Nathanos chucked at this reaction, a low, smooth sound that seemed to come right from his chest, and it made heat pool low in Anduin’s gut. He didn’t need that right now, he didn’t need to be attracted to the only person he could be around without feeling exhausted, who also was required--by his own orders no less--to stay close by and keep him safe.  _ I am an utter fool _ , he thought sourly, looking up to the liquor cabinet in mild desperation. Unfortunately for him, even the thought of liquor conjured the image of Genn, seething and swiping at Nathanos, drunk out of his mind, and bile rose in his throat. Seeing Genn that way had always felt a bit like staring at a dark mirror, and though he knew that in a few days’ time the feeling would fade, he couldn’t help but be irritated by the inconvenience of not having his favorite vice at his disposal when he needed it. 

_ Valeera will be here later, with the package I requested, and this time Shaw isn’t around to stop me _ , he assured himself, though he did feel mild guilt at using Shaw’s injury to his own advantage. Anduin threw himself into his paperwork, hoping that if he concentrated on it hard enough the distraction of Nathanos’s presence and the long wait for Valeera’s arrival would lessen. By some miracle, it worked. 

What felt like no more than an hour later, though logically it was much more than that, a soft rap came from the balcony door and Valeera stepped into the room. “Good evening, boys,” she smiled at them, “And ladies,” she added, addressing where Deva and Bastet were curled up on the floor near Anduin’s feet. 

“What are you doing here, Sanguinar?” Nathanos grumbled, closing and putting down his book. 

“Playing courier apparently,” she replied, sounding mildly irritated though Anduin could detect the fondness in her tone. “I have the package you asked for from Silvermoon my King.” 

“Wonderful, thank you again for your expediency, Valeera.” Anduin went about beginning to clear off his desk and put away his writing instruments, “Ah, and Nathanos please do whatever you please for the evening, you’re dismissed until tomorrow morning.”

He cocked an eyebrow, “Are you sure that is wise, my King?” 

“Valeera will be remaining here to protect me should anything go terribly wrong and I would not be opposed to keeping Deva here as well for extra protection,” Anduin explained, “But you don’t need to be here as well. I’m sure you’d enjoy going back to exploring the city some, like you were before?” 

Anduin hoped he was right, and that Nathanos would spend his night away. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed by what he’d been brought per se, but he could tell the man didn’t approve of his drinking and the last thing Anduin needed was another personal guard trying to get in the way of his habits. Shaw had been terrible for it, especially when it was something other than liquor which apparently his father had had a taste for as well, and it had been a chore to work around him when Valeera wasn’t there to interfere. For now, Anduin could only hope that he would be able to send Nathanos away for a time and try to, some time soon, acclimate him to his habits more slowly than he planned to go tonight. 

“I’m sure I can find something interesting to do if you’d like me elsewhere my Liege,” Nathanos conceded with a nod, and then headed out the door. 

Anduin was relieved when he heard the main chamber doors close, but tensed again when he heard Valeera snort. He looked over at her questioningly but she simply shrugged, “You visibly relaxed once he was gone. Don’t tell me he is disapproving as Shaw? That’ll be a chore.” 

“Honestly, I’m not sure. I haven’t brought this up to him yet,” Anduin sighed. “Before you say it, yes, I know I should. But I’m just nervous he’ll make a big deal out of it and I didn’t want to deal with that tonight. It’s been a hellish few days as I’m sure you know.” 

“Good thing for you alcohol withdrawal doesn’t give you the sweats I suppose,” She said it lightly but he could tell she was only half joking.

“Yeah, lucky me I guess.” 

Valeera tossed him the package and he deftly caught it, “I managed to get you one of those little lighters you’ve been asking for, by the way. It’s magical, of course, I wasn’t about to trust my King’s safety with goblin tech and no respectable Blood Elf would make a similar mechanical device. I’m still not sure why you want one so badly but I guess that’s for you to know and me to try not to think about. I would prefer not to know the details, as you know.”

“Of course, Leera, I’ll make sure you remain blissfully ignorant to what I’m doing with the Dreamer’s Bloom.” He took the paper wrapped package and opened it, revealing the leather and leaf-wrapped bundle of herbs inside. The pungent yet sweet scent of the herb mixture filled his nostrils and he felt himself calming minutely already, and he hurried over to the cabinet where he stored his liquor, digging through a bottom drawer to find the box where he kept his smoking supplies. 

As he placed the box on the counter next to the opened package he noticed Valeera turning away, not watching what he was doing, and he almost laughed. He knew she wasn’t fond of him smoking, but he still liked to tease her about it, “Sure you don’t want to learn Leera?”

“Very,” came her curt response and this time Anduin did allow himself to laugh. 

He pinched off a section of the leaves from the packaged bundle, then rewrapped the rest and placed them in the box. Pulling a small wooden device, a round and hollowed out cylinder with little teeth on each side facing inward, he ground the leaves evenly so they would burn better before packing them gently into the bowl of a pretty blue and silver glass pipe he’d bought in Dalaran a number of years ago. He gathered the red metal lighter from the packaging he’d left on the counter and went to the balcony door, opening and looking over his shoulder, “Last chance to participate?” 

“You know well I’m not interested,” Valeera replied, still looking away from him.

“Of course, I just thought it was polite to offer.” She snorted at him and he left her to her peace, heading out into the chill of the winter evening. Normally he would leave the door open so he could bask a little in the warmth of the room, but Deva and Bastet were in there tonight and he didn’t want them to get too close to the smoke. It wasn’t good for animals.

_ Not good for you, either _ , a voice in his head said. It sounded suspiciously like Jaina’s. “Fuck off conscience,” he muttered to himself, and leaned against the railing to peer over the small lake between the castle and the embassy. He played with the lighter for a moment before he figured out how it worked, then summoned a flame and held it to the herbs, drawing the smoke through it slowly to avoid pulling too much heat into his mouth with it. 

A deep breath in, which he held with fluttering lashes, and he felt the tension in his mind soften as he let the smoke leave him in a rush. He wasn’t practiced with smoking, and it wasn’t something he did often enough for his lungs to have adjusted, so the deep drag was immediately followed by a sputtered cough, but he just breathed through it. He brought the flame and pipe up again and repeated his process, letting the smoke simmer in his lungs and chase away some of his stress. It felt good, to be relaxed like this, to have his mind scattered just enough that any worrying just floated away like so much smoke. 

The analogy made him giggle to himself, and closed his eyes to enjoy the softness of his mind. He knew it wouldn’t really hit him for another little bit, a few minutes at least, but for now he enjoyed the beginning of the high and the safety of the process. When he reopened them, he noticed something strange in his peripheral and turned to look. It seemed for a moment that the old gargoyle that had been near the King’s chambers but removed when he had taken over the rooms had been put back, but after a closer, squinting inspection, Anduin realized that it wasn’t a gargoyle at all, but a person, and one he recognized. 

“Lurking in the shadows for any reason in particular, Nathanos?” Anduin called to him and watched, amused, as he froze even stiller than he already was.

“I didn’t think you’d be able to see me, my King.”

Anduin giggled at that, “The Light blessed me with better vision in the darkness than most, even during a cloudy night like tonight I can make you out well enough.” 

“Fascinating,” Nathanos replied, but he sounded anything but fascinated. 

Anduin giggled even more at the dry humor of his voice and had to briefly turn his face away to help calm down. The smoke was hitting him now, sooner than he’d expected, and harder too. Valeera had gotten him the good stuff, apparently. “Why don’t you come up here and have a smoke with me, better than spying from the shadows I promise.”

He heard Nathanos sigh, but the man stood and looked like he was preparing to leap. Anduin backed away from the edge to make room and not a moment later Nathanos had caught the edge of the balcony and was swinging himself up and over the railing. The grace with which he moved was immense, and Anduin couldn’t help but admire how deftly he landed, not could he help the way his eyes took in the gentle roll of Nathanos’s shoulders that somehow looked so much broader now, up close. Anduin barely restrained himself from reaching out to touch him, instead directing the energy into lifting his pipe to his lips once more and taking another deep drag. 

He held the pipe out to Nathanos, “Care to partake? Valeera never will, she says she hates the smell.” 

Nathanos audibly sniffed and his eyebrows shot up when he did, “Is that Flushbloom? I’m not surprised Valeera wants nothing to do with it, it's rather addictive I’ve heard.” 

“The addictive properties mainly kick in when it’s distilled into a tonic or concentrated before it’s smoked. Just the dried leaves like this aren’t any more addictive than alcohol, or sugar for that matter.” 

He snorted, “Well, if it’s no more addictive than alcohol I’m sure you’ll be fine.” 

His words were laced with sarcasm and they stung Anduin more than he wanted to admit, but in his state he wasn’t as good at hiding his reactions as he normally would be. “I’m here to escape my problems, not have them held over my head like an executioner’s blade, Nath,” he replied, sounding far smaller and more childish than he wished he did.

But instead of further mock him, or tell him to stop hiding, or tell him to grow up, or any other number of things Anduin might have thought he would, might have expected he would, Nathanos’s posture gentled, and he stepped forward to place a hand on Anduin’s shoulder. “We all have our vices,” he said, but Anduin heard what he meant:  _ I’m sorry. _ And damn him but Anduin forgave him instantly. 

“Thanks, Nath.”  _ You’re forgiven. _

“I must decline the offer to smoke, though, I doubt it would do anything for me given my state and I never used to like the feeling of smoke in my lungs even when I was alive.”

“That’s fair enough I suppose. You don’t mind if I do it with you here though, right?” he asked, looking up into ruby eyes which twinkled with something like mirth.

“Seeing as I don’t need to breathe any longer I don’t think it will be an issue,” Nathanos winked at him. 

Anduin snorted, “Oh right, I forgot about that, somehow.” 

And so they lapsed into silence, peaceful and comfortable and only occasionally broken by the sounds of Anduin taking a hit from the pipe, Nathanos’s hand never leaving his shoulder. Over time Anduin found himself leaning into Nathanos, and that hand drifted across his upper back to his other shoulder and pulled him into the larger man’s bulk. He wasn’t warm, being dead and all that, but he was comfortable to lean against and did a decent job of buffering Anduin from the cold wind. 

When a particularly cold gust rushed by Anduin tucked himself into Nathanos’s side, hiding his face in the man’s collarbone and breathing in his scent. Genn always complained that the Undead smelled like rot, but while there was something faintly putrescent and iron-like about his smell, mostly he smelled of spices and leather and earth, and Anduin couldn’t stop himself from breathing it in deeply and pressing closer. 

Nathanos chuckled, and the sound resonated in his chest in a way that Anduin felt as much as heard, “Do you always turn into a sun-warmed cat when you’re high?” 

“Mm probably. Don’t usually get to be around people when I’m like this,” Anduin nuzzled, “Glad you’re here, Nath.”

He probably shouldn’t have admitted that, but he could regret it in the morning. As it was, Nathanos squeezed his shoulder and Anduin almost thought he felt his nose press into his hair briefly, as if he was taking in Anduin’s scent as well. “Is that why you’re always blushing when I call you by your title?”

“Something like that.” Anduin was high, sure, but he wasn’t about to openly admit his crush. Or not directly anyway. Hopefully.

“Something?” Nathanos prompted, and it maybe sounded like he was teasing but Anduin couldn’t be sure. 

_ Yeah you’re gorgeous and mysterious and call everyone else rude names but call me a formal title without question or irony and my heart is having trouble bearing it,  _ he thought to himself, but managed not to say aloud. “Yeah,  _ something _ . You know my dad had me trained to not reveal state secrets even when intoxicated and poisoned right?” 

“No Prince would survive long without such training,” Nathanos drew him back and looked down at him, a soft smile just barely gracing his lips. “It would be a shame for you not to survive long, my King.” 

Anduin flushed from his neck to the tips of his ears, “Ah, yeah. Shame. Definitely.” 

He tucked himself back into Nathanos’s side and hid his face in his shoulder, then out of some half-baked desire for retaliation he pushed up on his toes a little and pressed his lips to the side of his neck. Nathanos froze entirely in place, becoming so alike the stone statue Anduin had at first presumed he was, as Anduin trailed soft kitten-kisses along to where a living person’s pulse would beat under their skin. But there was no beat of life beneath Nathanos’s cool skin, and perhaps those things should have been alarming, but Anduin just moved up to nuzzle his nose into the man’s beard, surprised at the softness of the hair even as it scraped against his own cheek. It wasn’t until he angled his head to kiss him properly that Nathanos drew back, shifting the hand on his shoulder to push him away just a hair. 

“Stop.” His voice was gruff, and if it weren’t for the way he was panting, lips parted to let the air rush in and out rapidly, Anduin might think he was angry. But no, he was… wait. 

“Are you breathing right now?” Anduin was completely distracted from the disappointment that had been growing in his chest at being rejected by his curiosity. He had never heard of Undead breathing except for the occasional inhale so they had enough air to speak with, and even that wasn’t always necessary. 

The movement of air against his lips and cheek stopped, “You should go to bed, my Liege, it’s late and you have more paperwork and meetings to attend to tomorrow.” 

“I’m not tired,” Anduin pouted but knew better than to try to push against Nathanos’s grip, “Why don’t you want to kiss me?”

“You’re intoxicated, Anduin, you’re not in your right mind,” He wasn’t even looking at him though and it made terror stutter in Anduin’s lungs.

“Look at me please?” Nathanos did, surprising Anduin with the want that lingered in those ruby depths, and he forgot what he’d meant to say. 

“If it’s personal I’ll leave it but I am curious why you were breathing,” Anduin admitted after a moment or two of just gazing at the man, enjoying the way he gazed back. 

“It happens sometimes when I’m… the best way to put it would be  _ feeling things _ but that might give you the wrong idea. It could be stress, or worry, or--though I usually hate to admit that I ever feel it--fear,” he explained, his grip on Anduin’s shoulder gentling to more of a caress, but still strong enough to keep him a reasonable distance away. Anduin cursed himself a little for ruining the closeness.

“And this time? What were you feeling?” 

“That’s for me to know and you to wonder, my King,” Nathanos smiled at him, soft edges and a mischievous flash of teeth and Anduin’s chest  _ ached _ with it. “You really should be getting to bed, though. Or indoors at the least, it’s cold out here for one of you soft mortals.”

Anduin snorted, “You try to make it sound so condescending but I personally pride myself on my softness, it’s what makes me a good man.” 

“Should I have used the word delicate then? Weak?” Nathanos’s eyebrows drew together, then he sighed, “Well, never mind that. I simply meant you actually feel and are affected by the cold.”

Anduin looked at him vaguely confused, not quite sure what he was on about, but he shrugged and headed back into his office nonetheless. It was cold outside, and not being tucked into Nathanos’s bulk where it was lessened made him realize just how intolerably frigid it was. Damn winter weather.

“Good evening ladies,” he said as he entered, echoing Valeera’s earlier words, then noticing she was still in the room he threw her a smirk, “Valeera.” 

She raised an eyebrow, “If I’m not a lady then what am I?”

“A rogue,” he stated sagely, with a nod, then promptly burst into giggles. 

Nathanos entered the room behind him, and placed the pipe and lighter Anduin hadn’t realized he’d taken from him down on the counter, “What are you giggling about now?” 

“Anduin seems to be of the strange notion that my gender is ‘Rogue.’” 

“I mean that’s more preferable that being a woman or a man isn’t it? Far less full of the responsibilities of either,” Nathanos replied, a little more seriously than Anduin could understand the cause of. Perhaps he was just making some strange joke?

But Valeera just squinted at him for a moment before her face cracked into a genuine, pleased smile, “Far more crime, far less skirts or collared shirts or rules. Much better indeed.”

“You know you’re not too bad, Sanguinar.” 

“I didn’t know Undead could get high,” Valeera replied dryly, but when Nathanos glared at her she raised her hands in acquiescence. “You’re not too bad either, Nathanos.” 

Anduin reached up and patted Deva from where he was lying against her side on the floor, “I’m happy my friends get along… wait why am I on the floor?” He wasn’t really asking her but he kind of hoped she would answer him nonetheless.

“You laid down just now, don’t you remember?” Valeera told him, and he wasn’t really paying attention but something about the way she said it was funny so he started to giggle. He distantly heard her say something to Nathanos, and him reply, but Anduin was busy thinking about how soft Deva’s fur was beneath his hand, and how warm she was, and how nice it was to have Bastet curl up next to him on Deva’s side and begin to purr. 

And then very suddenly he found himself being gently tucked into his bed, boots and pants and shirt stripped from him. He realized belatedly that he must have fallen asleep and been carried to his bedchamber, and he looked up expecting Valeera but met Nathanos’s gaze instead. 

“You fell asleep on the floor, I carried you here,” he explained, voice soft and tender as his hand stroked through Anduin’s hair to loosen the tie that held it back. “Go back to sleep, my King. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

But instead of leaving like Anduin expected, Nathanos simply sat and ran his hand through Anduin’s hair gently, clearly waiting for him to fall asleep under the kind ministrations. Which he did, despite how hard he tried to stay awake and enjoy the touch, within seconds. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all so I know one of you likes these long ass chapters but in case they're getting too long for anyone just let me know and I'll probably start splitting them into two parts and posting both at the same time (just for readability's sake). Also, yay me this motherfucker is officially over 50,000 words and 100 pages on google docs so that's a win I guess?  
> I spent an embarrassing length of time trying to find fantasy weed on the wowkipedia and suprisingly such a thing exists (black lotus and dreaming glory mixed together, hence the name "dreamer's bloom" which i came up with all by myself)! it's not flushbloom though, that's an addictive herb that has been added to le fantasy weed lmao (to add potency). probably not canon herbalism but who cares. 
> 
> Also finally, in case anyone else is like me and can't do the words thing sometimes, I welcome gifs as comments and its really easy just type the following inside pointy brackets <>:
> 
> img src="replace this text with the image address" 
> 
> and then, well, replace the text in "" with the _image_ address (not to be confused with the link address, so be careful) which you can get by right clicking the image. 
> 
> Anyway, cheers, and as always, thanks for reading and I love you all 


	8. We're Losing Our Tongue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaw wakes up and Anduin and Nathanos go to visit him. Some shit goes down with the Ridgewells and a new (old) ally makes herself known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The safety is broken, intentions are numb  
> Whispers and daggers, we're losin' our tongue  
> Tracin' the stitches, searchin' for grace  
> Say that you love me, but you faded to grey
> 
> You're so hi-lo, hi-lo  
> Hi-lo, hi-lo  
> You're so hi-lo, hi-lo  
> Hi-lo, hi-lo
> 
> And I'm so hollow, hollow  
> Hollow, hollow  
> I'm so hollow, hollow  
> Hollow, hollow  
> \-- Bishop Briggs, "Hi-Lo (Hollow)"

The hall was mostly silent as Nathanos walked down the corridor toward Anduin’s chambers. He’d spent the night away from the man trying to parse his feelings about everything that had happened when Anduin was intoxicated, but all his mind could seem to return to was how good it had felt to have him close, so Nathanos decided to try and wear himself down with heavy climbing and some archery practice with the gulls along the docks. It wasn’t too successful a venture, seeing as he could still practically feel Anduin’s lips against his neck, but it had given him something to keep his hands busy while he thought. 

Just as he reached out toward the door, it opened inward and Keira stepped out, jumping in surprise a moment too belated for Nathanos to think the action was anything other than put upon. “I was just getting done servin’ the King ‘is meal, milord. I also put your tea down with a cloth atop it to keep it warm for whenever you returned. ‘Ave a good morning,” she gave him a small smile and curtseyed before continuing her way out of the room and down the hall. 

Nathanos watched her go, perplexed again at how she managed to be both very much and nothing at all what she appeared to be on the surface. Shaking himself from his reverie he headed into Anduin’s rooms and sighed when he saw Deva sitting next to him eating a small helping of roast boar from a tea plate, “I leave you two alone for a single morning…”

Anduin smiled at him sheepishly, “Good morning, Nathanos. I’m glad you’ve returned, I was hoping to speak to you this morning before court.”

“Of course, my King, what is it?” Nathanos headed to his regular seat and dropped into it comfortably, picking up the teacup full of spiced rooibos and enjoying its warmth in his hands. 

“I heard from the healers this morning, and Shaw has woken up finally. He’ll still need a few days of bed rest before he can be up and about again, and probably a week or more until he’s fully able to return to his duties, but he’s recovering remarkably well, apparently,” Anduin informed him, smiling brightly. “They also said that if he hadn’t been healed so quickly after the poison started to shut down his body he likely would have been much slower to heal if he was even able to make a full recovery at all. It is because you acted so quickly to call for help that he is healing, and at such a remarkable rate at that. I know you told me not to thank you any more than I already have, but really Nathanos, Shaw is important to me and I am very grateful that you helped him as much as you did.”

“Some of your thanks should go to Valeera as well, I suppose, for giving me the stone. But sure, you’re welcome I suppose, I wouldn’t want to see him die because Lenara thought she could test me or mess with me or whatever stupid, petty shit she was pulling. That would… I would not be happy about seeing him hurt because of my past ties and relationships,” Nathanos stared down at his tea, uncomfortable with the admission but knowing he needed to be honest with Anduin. He’d never had trouble with the truth, always finding lies far harder to keep and tell, but being so openly vulnerable in front of someone was difficult for him. Nonetheless, it felt right to be truthful with Anduin without omission, and given all the vulnerabilities Anduin had shown in front of him, the things he told him after Genn, it seemed only fair that he was forthright about this now. 

“I understand the feeling, a little bit anyway. And I am sorry, for what it’s worth. I was trying to test your loyalty and ended up putting you in a really difficult position that Lenara was able to exploit, and if I hadn’t-”

“No, don’t do that. Don’t make assumptions based on what may or may not have happened if you’d done something differently. For all either or us know if you’d sent Shaw alone or with someone else in SI:7 he could be dead right now. Blaming yourself gets you nowhere, nor it is fair to how much you try to do everything right,” Nathanos interrupted, brows furrowing when he realized Anduin was just going to apologize again.

“I’m sorry,” Anduin looked away, and Nathanos sighed.

“I’m not trying to get you to blame yourself for this too, I just want you to realize that you shouldn’t regret things that you can’t change when you did them as best you could with what you knew at the time. Reserve regret for your genuine missteps, for those times you knew better and did it anyway, and you’ll be happier for it.”

Anduin looked at him and squinted, “Was that genuine, poetically worded advice? From Nathanos? Who are you and what did you do with my bodyguard?”

Nathanos rolled his eyes and took a drink of his tea, “I don’t think I’m going to dignify that idiocy with a response, thank you.”

“Ah, there he is. You’re too easy to make a joke of not to take advantage of it sometimes, you know Nathanos, especially when I know you won’t hurt me for it.” 

“Rather trusting of you given I eat the flesh of the living, my King.” 

Anduin blinked at him rapidly, “You  _ what _ now?”

“Oh yes, my King, we Undead are vile creatures who prefer to feast on the flesh of the living or the very recent dead. That’s why I don’t eat these meals you do, I find your food unappetizing and rather unnecessarily overcooked,” he put on his best approximation of a sneer despite the laughter bubbling up in his chest.

“I… honestly can’t tell if you’re entirely fucking with me or not but,” Anduin burst out laughing, any trace of his self-imposed guilt chased out of his eyes by the brightness of humor and the part of Nathanos that had sworn itself to protect him curled possessively around the image. 

_ You did that, you made him smile and laugh,  _ it told him, a seductive whisper that echoed through his heart as much as his mind,  _ take him, keep him, kiss him, and you could have that for yourself forever. _ Nathanos shook himself mentally at the thought. No, Anduin wasn’t his and he probably never would be despite everything that had happened the night before--the man was beautiful and bright, a beacon of hope, light and joy in a dark, hopeless world, what would he ever want to do with a broken, beaten creature like Nathanos. 

“Not entirely, Undead do eat fresh corpses to restore their own health and constitution, but none in the Forsaken, those who retained their minds and personhood as opposed to the mindless undead in the Scourge, ever ate of flesh for pleasure or sport that I know of. It's a messy business, and most of us only ever did it out of necessity,” Nathanos explained, smiling.

“Huh, that’s actually really interesting. You aren’t going to eat me for making fun of you then, right?” Anduin was grinning, clearly joking, but even the suggestion made hurt twist in his gut.

“I would never hurt you, Anduin,” and perhaps he said it a little too gravely because Anduin looked at him with soft eyes and slightly parted lips that perfectly showed how touched he was by the notion, and Nathanos wanted to kiss him more terribly than ever. 

“I know, Nath, I was only teasing… Anyway, I was wondering if you’d want to go see Shaw in the infirmary before I have to hold court later this morning? I was planning on going myself so obviously you’ll need to accompany me, but it's up to you whether you want to actually come in and see him or not,” Anduin resumed eating, picking at the toast on the side of his plate nervously, “I wasn’t sure whether you’d want him to know how much you did to save him so I asked the healers not to mention anything, just in case. I was thinking maybe now would be a good time for you two to talk?”

“Talk?” Nathanos raised a brow.

Anduin looked down at his mostly-empty plate, “When you left the two of you seemed to hate each other but not a couple days later you were half-sick with worry about him. Shaw isn’t the most… receptive person when it comes to feelings but I think you should tell him.” 

“That I didn’t want him to die and it look like I’d killed him? Yeah I’ll be sure to let him know,” he snapped, suddenly irritated at what Anduin was implying. 

Anduin just looked at him sadly, and sighed, “Do as you will, Nathanos. We’re leaving soon so I should get dressed for the day.”

Pushing away from the table, he stood and scurried to his bedchambers, the door closing behind him with a definitive click that told Nathanos exactly how welcome he was. Even him closing the door was rather odd, given how quickly the King had become comfortable being nude around him, but the not-quite-finished breakfast and the half-full coffee pot told Nathanos unquestionably that Anduin was upset with him for his sharp words. 

When Anduin re-entered the room, now nicely dressed though not in his full ceremonial plate, with Shalamayne sheathed at his side, Nathanos stood and faced him, “I apologize for the shortness of my words, earlier. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.” 

“And I shouldn’t have pushed you the way I did. You’re forgiven, Nath,” Anduin replied, smile weak but nonetheless gracing his features again. 

“Thank you, Anduin,” Nathanos enjoyed the way color bloomed along his cheeks at hearing his name spoken, and tried to tamp down the smirk that pulled at his lips when he saw it.

They left the room in once-again-companionable silence and made their way toward the Cathedral Square. The streets were fairly quiet in the early winter morning, lanterns still needed to navigate by on the cobblestones, but that didn’t stop the people who were up and about from looking suspiciously between Anduin and Nathanos as they walked together towards the infirmary. As they walked Nathanos felt a strange pain in his chest, somewhat like being out of breath even though that was impossible for him, and he drew a deep lungful of chill air in to try and clear the feeling. It lessened somewhat, but persisted, and he coughed softly to try and make it disappear, but even then it did not. Sighing, he resigned himself to feeling strange and focused instead of making sure no one milling about was suspicious. 

When they arrived, a young Draenei nurse guided them back through the main room where cots were set up to heal people right away, and where they’d left Shaw on their last visit, down a narrow hallway and to a door which she knocked on before opening and peeking in. As she did so, Nathanos heard the tail end of a hushed but heated argument between Shaw and someone else. 

“Priestess Taela? I’m sorry to interrupt but Master Shaw has guests.”

“The King and his guard, I would assume? Let them in,” a woman who sounded older, voice a deep and creaky rumble, said softly. 

The young nurse smiled at them and stepped away from the door, waving them in. Anduin smiled at her in return, and entered, Nathanos following behind him. The room was small and a tight fit for the four of them, but comfortably furnished with soft-looking linens on the modest bed and a bedside chair and table. Sitting on said chair was the Priestess, an elderly Dwarven woman with thick hair pulled into heavy braids that fell down her back like two thick rows of silver. She turned to look at Anduin with a slightly mischievous smile, “Glad tae see you, my King, your friend here is being a might stubborn about returning to his duties before he’s ready. If you’d be so kind as tae make sure he understands he’s tae remain until we find him fit tae leave, I’d be grateful.” 

Anduin laughed, “Of course, Priestess Taela. And I thank you for sending word of his waking as quickly as you did.” 

“Aye, that was nothin’, just doing my duties tae your majesty. I’ll be takin’ my leave now, best of luck with this stubborn bastard,” she rose slowly, then bowed slightly to Anduin before heading out of the room. Nathanos wanted to insist she bowed properly, feeling oddly irritated at her disrespectful lack of courtesy, but left it alone knowing it would only annoy Anduin if he went around harassing old women for not bowing deeply enough. 

“I would stand, but it seems I’m a little too weak to do so, my King,” Shaw said from the bed, visibly struggling to push himself up on his elbows. Before he could realize or rethink what he was doing, Nathanos found himself crossing the room and pulling Shaw up into a sitting position, moving his pillow behind his back so he could lean back against the headboard comfortably. 

When he pulled away, Shaw was staring at him strangely, lips pursed and brows furrowed, and Nathanos spoke before anyone else could, “You were struggling like a lame pup and it was irritating me. Don’t overthink it, idiot.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Marris,” Shaw replied, but his voice was far softer than it should have been and Nathanos was surprised to find kindness rather than mockery in the man’s eyes. 

“I hate to call you out, Shaw, but seeing as you can’t even pull yourself up properly how do you expect to return to your duties soon?” Nathanos added, leaning against the wall next to the door so that Anduin could sit in the chair next to the bed.

Shaw huffed, “Just because my body is still weak doesn’t mean my mind is, I could at least resume my duties at SI:7. Plus I’m apparently healing very quickly and I should be on my feet in a day or two at this rate. I don't see why you care though, Marris.” He raised a brow and Nathanos looked away, grumbling to himself.

“No, you need to rest and heal properly. You’ve likely only healed so well because all you’ve been doing is sleeping the past few days. Now that you’re up and about that progress will likely slow, and even if it doesn’t you deserve a rest and a week more away won't kill you,” Anduin piped up from where he’d sat at his bedside, and Shaw looked to him brows once again furrowed.

“My King I mean no offense to your intelligence but the world is not going to wait for me to heal to send assassins or Light-knows-what else at you or your court. I need to return to my duties as soon as possible, not just for my own peace of mind but for your wellbeing.”

“Mathias relax. I’ve reallocated your duties while you’ve been out and all the bases are covered. Valeera is working with Renzik to keep up to date on intelligence and fill the role of spymaster, while Nathanos has been acting as my personal guard. In fact, I almost think he is a better fit for the job than you, seeing as he doesn’t need to sleep and comes with a plaguehound who can see through stealth to boot,” Anduin was teasing him, evidently, and Shaw seemed to relax a hair at his more casual tone. 

“Well, if your safety isn’t a concern being left to the palace guards I do feel somewhat better, even if this asshole is the one watching you. Still I would like to be made apprised of any big happenings that Valeera and Renzik are dealing with and at least consult with them while I am removed from duties. I also disagree that I could not do the job effectively, I will be well enough very soon to return and hardly need a week of rest as you suggested,” Shaw insisted, and Nathanos knew this was going nowhere.

“How about this, Shaw,” Nathanos said, taunting tone at the ready, “When you can beat me in a spar and a game of chess I’ll consider…  _ speaking with _ the Priestess about letting you out of this joint a little early.”

“Offering to threaten the priesthood for me? How romantic,” Shaw drawled, “And a spar you say? Well I suppose it would be responsible for me to ask what sort of spar before I go agreeing to things I might not be prepared to do.”

“Oh I’m sure you’re plenty prepared to do exactly what I have in mind, Shaw,” he threw him a leer and a cocked eyebrow, making Shaw laugh. 

“Nathanos I’m not going to get in the way if you two want to have some strange trial, but please don’t threaten anyone here,” Anduin looked back at him, pleading and exasperated.

“Of course, my King, I apologize,” he nodded to him, then turned to Shaw, “I’ll sneak you out in the middle of the night instead.”

“Bold of you to assume that I won’t just sneak out on my own.”

“And rob me of the chance to lord saving your poor damsel-in-distress ass from this horrid place? Truly you are a cruel man, Master Shaw.” 

“That’s rich coming from the man who offered to threaten a Priestess of the Light for me, Lord Marris.” 

“Oh the things we do for the opportunity to hold something over the Alliance’s spymaster’s head,” he said loftily, brushing his hair over his shoulder dramatically.

Shaw snorted, “Still, you never did answer my question about the spar, Marris. What sort of idiocy are you planning?”

“Well, now that I’ve had a moment to consider I think a full test of your abilities will be required,” he leaned in conspiratorially and gave Shaw his best mockingly sultry eyes, “First you’ll have to find me, then you’ll have to take me and beat me, and if somehow you end up on top, I’ll consider letting you take over our King’s personal security again.” 

“On top? And what if I’d prefer to be on my back with your head trapped between my thighs?”

“Then you’ll lose, because you can’t choke out an Undead, imbecile. No, if you want to win, you'll have to put my on my stomach on the ground and hurt me until I’m begging-”

“I think,” Anduin interrupted, standing abruptly and shattering the tension in the room, “that it would be best if I go ask the Priestess for details about your condition, Shaw. Clearly you two have… things to discuss. Please come find me when you’re done, Lord Marris.”

He retreated, closing the door sharply behind him and leaving the two remaining men in stunned silence. Shaw was staring at the door looking concerned, and perhaps a little wounded, but all that could go through Nathanos’s mind was the name,  _ Marris, Marris, Marris. He called me Marris even though he knows it irritates me, especially when it comes from him… why? _

“You alright there?” Shaw asked, voice soft again.

“Fine,” he snapped, crossing his arms and looking away.

“It’s the name isn’t it?” Nathanos looked over at him surprised, and Shaw shrugged. “I’ve never heard him call you anything other than Nathanos. At first I assumed it was just him being friendly, he calls me Mathias all the time even after I insisted he not do so, but even when surrounded by the public or the House of Nobles he refers to you by your given name and nothing else. You don't’ like it, do you, going back to the name you had when you lived?”

“He told me he didn’t think either suited me, that I was more than either surname, so he wouldn’t call me by either of them or make me choose one until I was ready,” the words tasted like ash on his tongue, and he felt that pain in his lungs resurge making him cough once into his hand. Why Anduin’s words hurt him so much he couldn’t say, but it felt like a betrayal to hear that name said that way from those lips. 

“Sit, maybe you’ll feel a bit better. I had something I wanted to say to you anyhow,” Shaw motioned to the chair Anduin had abandoned, and Nathanos went over and sat, motioning for Shaw to continue speaking. “I wanted to thank you for saving my life. And before you get mad that someone told me the details of what happened don’t bother, no one told me anything I just figured it out on my own. The only person who could possibly have sent for a healer in time to keep me alive was you, and seeing as we’re having this conversation it means you did everything you could to find help.”

“Valeera gave me a Sending stone, I was able to contact Anduin through it and he came immediately. You have all three of us to thank for you life, not just me.”

“And yet if you hadn’t acted I would be dead right now. Hell, if I’d brought one of my other agents we’d probably both have died. I… I was unsure about you, about having an Undead in our ranks, especially one with the ties you had, but you’ve proven yourself Nathanos, and more than that you’ve managed to endear yourself to me--that’s no small feat.”

“Endear myself to you, eh?” 

“Don’t get cocky or anything, now,” Shaw looked at him unimpressed, though his eyes glittered with humor, “But yes, I find you more tolerable than the common masses.” 

“Hmm. Well, coincidentally I find you more tolerable than the common masses as well, Shaw.” 

Shaw paused and thought for a moment, running his hands through his hair, before seeming to come to some conclusion and looking at Nathanos a little shyly, “If I’m going to start calling you Nathanos in private, at least call me Mathias to match so I don’t sound so damned soft about it.”

“And save you from suffering the embarrassment of having feelings? I suppose I could be persuaded, but I think you’ll have to earn it first,” he said with a coy smirk.

He then looked at him with a particular brand of concentration that Nathanos thought only middle-aged women considering their daughter’s new boyfriend could, “And just what did you have in mind, Nathanos, for me to earn this reprieve from the embarrassment of being a human with feelings?” 

“I don’t know, you come up with something. I said earn it not get it handed to you on a silver plate, idiot.” 

“So either I earn it on my knees, or by putting you on yours?” Shaw asked, lips quirked in a half-teasing smile. 

Nathanos snorted, “You’re not getting me on my knees, Mathias, not on your life.”

Shaw just grinned, “Seemed I didn’t need to.”

They lapsed into silence, comfortable though tense with something unsaid, and for a time they just sat there, not quite looking at each other but not looking away either. 

“Mathias?” Nathanos said, breaking the silence.

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you’re not dead.”

“Me too,” Shaw replied, but Nathanos could tell he was really saying thank you.

Nathanos huffed a laugh then returned to staring at the floor, “When I confronted Lenara and she told me she’d poisoned you, it took so much restraint to not just rush back and check on you. But when I got to the camp and you were just lying there on the ground I…” He swallowed around the sudden dryness of his throat. “I haven’t been that worried about someone since Sylvanas disappeared in Stormheim. And even then, I somehow knew she was alive in a way I can’t explain, and when we found her she was doing fine. You… I thought you were dead.” 

And for the first time in a long while, Nathanos was deeply grateful that Undead couldn’t cry. How he had come to care for the people here in Stormwind so quickly boggled his mind but alas, his heart hurt in his chest at the thought of losing the man lying there next to him and he was almost so shocked by the strength of that feeling that he didn’t doubt it. Almost, but not quite. Part of him denied the feelings, of course, but the another part started doubting why he felt like he was feeling things for the first time ever. Had he not loved or cared for anyone before? Alas that was a question he would have to consider later, because now Mathias was placing a hand on his jaw and turning him to face him. 

“I’m not dead, though, I’m right here, healthy and clean and smelling unfortunately of this horrid place with horribly mussed hair and not properly shaven,” he huffed and shook his head, “But safe, thanks to you. I owe you my life, Nathanos, and I’m not about to forget or squander that.” 

Nathanos was unsure what to do for a moment--no one aside from Anduin had touched him so familiarly or comfortably in a very long time--but slowly raised his hand to Shaw’s, cradling it against his own jaw before drawing it away just far enough that he could turn his head and kiss the center of his palm, then his wrist. His hand and wrist were not delicate the way Sylvanas’s were, or even the way Anduin’s were, but rather were heavy in his hand and sturdy against his lips, the palm calloused from wielding various weapons and his wrist littered with small scars and marks. It comforted him, knowing the man was not delicate, that he wasn’t easily breakable… that he couldn’t be taken from him easily. It comforted him greatly. 

Taking a moment just to breath in the smell of Mathias’s skin, Nathanos pulled away and cleared his throat a little awkwardly, “I should probably go find the King and escort him back to the castle. Court is set to start soon and with all the sessions he’s been cancelling I’m sure the House of Nobles are chomping at the bit to bitch at him--he won’t like it if I make him late.”

“Understandable, Anduin does hate being late,” he replied, but he looked almost disappointed when Nathanos released his hand to stand and walk to the door. “Stay safe, Nathanos.”

“Heal up quick, Mathias,” and he left the room quickly before he could do anything stupid like kiss the man. 

He found Anduin in the main room of the infirmary healing wounded guards and other citizens and generally helping the healers there, a bright smile on his face as he told a story to a little girl while healing what was presumably her father. Nathanos watched from a distance for a time, enjoying the way his face lit up as he spoke to her, the way she covered her mouth and giggled despite the fresh tracks of tears down her cheeks, and a rush of affection swelled in his chest. As he approached however, Anduin’s face went hard and cold when he saw him, like he’d tasted something sour when he’d been hoping for sweet, and quickly finished healing the man in the bed and wished his daughter farewell. 

“If you’re finished with Shaw we should be getting back to the castle. If I leave the House alone for too long they’ll either try to kill each other or find some new way to get back at me for every small misstep,” he said, voice flat and posture stiff, as he walked past Nathanos toward the door.

Something was wrong, something was very wrong, but for the life of him Nathanos couldn’t figure out what he’d done to upset him. Had it been his candor with Shaw? He doubted it, he knew Valeera and Shaw could be much the same way if left to their own devices, nevermind that Anduin was mature enough to say if something was making him uncomfortable rather than just giving the cold shoulder. So what was it then? What could he have done or said that offended him so badly?

He should ask him, he knew, wondering about it wasn’t doing either of them any good, but the brusque pace that Anduin was walking back to the castle at brokered no room for discussion and the last thing Nathanos wanted was to offend him more. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair then rubbed at his chest where it twinged again. Somehow this one man managed to set him off balance so terribly and he hated it. 

Shaw, too, had wormed his way under his skin, but that was more of a gentle ache that a sharp pain, softer and diluted even as it wore on him. But Shaw was also a different man than Anduin, he was older, worn down with the years of distancing himself from others, and if Nathanos’s judgement was correct, just as lonely as he had always felt when he still served the Dark Lady. They were the closest thing Nathanos could figure to equals, so unlike the relationship he had and yearned to deepen with Anduin, so unlike what he’d ever had before. 

And still, he felt akin to a wolf in the wilds, howling at the moon, freed by its soft inconstant glow, but nonetheless basking in the sun when it appeared from behind winter clouds--perhaps Shaw was what he needed, something closer to what he should want, but that did not make Anduin’s radiance lessen, nor the warmth of his presence, or the coolness of its absence, any easier to bear. He shook himself from his thoughts, now was not the time to be thinking about such things, and even if it were he had an inclination that Fate was holding her cards close to her chest and pretending she didn’t have a royal flush. However this all ended up going down, he sure as hell wasn’t going to be making active decisions about it, that much he felt sure of, so what was the point of fretting? 

_ Other than to torture yourself with thoughts of things and people you can neither have nor deserve, you mean?  _ A snide little voice in his head that sounded too much like Sylvanas’s asked him, and he politely told it to go fuck itself, picking up his pace to catch up with Anduin where he was about to enter the castle. 

A guard burst from the doors as soon as they neared them and ran right for Anduin, “My Liege, please come quickly there’s been an incident and the House of Nobles are all yelling and arguing with each other and we’re not sure what to do.”

“Of course, lead the way,” and Anduin took off after the young man, all but running into the castle. 

Nathanos rolled his eyes, and sighed, walking leisurely behind them. Whatever it was, his presence wouldn’t help anyway, and Nathanos did not run when he did not need to. As he made his way to the throne room he could hear the voices of the nobles, but one in particular stood out as strange, one that should not have been there unless something was very wrong, and Nathanos found himself picking up his pace just a hair. 

“Are you out of your mind, Lady Ellerian? What sense is there in waiting when the culprit is already known and had every reason to attack?” Jorah Ridgewell was asking, sounding enraged and half out of his mind. That he was there at all was troubling, and that his father was  _ not  _ there to tell him to behave himself in front of a Lady even more so. 

“Jorah please, calm yourself. I understand that the attack on your father has left you shaken but he is safe for now. If we want to understand what happened properly we need you to relax enough to tell us,” Anduin said to him diplomatically. 

“You’re right, my King, I am sorry. I find myself unnerved by this whole situation, almost like they could be lurking anywhere in the shadows,” he started looking around nervously, “How do we know we’re truly alone? They are good at hiding in the shadows and going unseen? What is they’re here? What if they followed me? What-”

Nathanos whistled loudly with his fingers between his teeth, bringing the whole House to a stop as they collectively turned to stare at him. He had never fully revealed himself to them before, never being so brazen as to stand in the open as he was, but he’d prefer at the moment being a little less subtle and a little more appeasing of Jorah’s fears. On cue, Deva trotted down the hall and into the throne room, answering his call. “Look for anything that stalks the shadows here,” he commanded her, and she cocked her head for a moment before beginning to pace slowly, investigating and sniffing and peering into dark places as she went. “Plaguehounds are naturally gifted with the ability to see through stealth, Master Jorah, if anything hides from our view she will find it.” He clenched his teeth around the insult that he wanted to loose on the man, knowing that would only antagonize the situation and make Anduin angrier with him. 

Jorah swallowed, “Thank you. That is comforting, even if I do find her a little terrifying.”

“Oh come now boy, don’t be so soft. You come in here blathering like a woman and now you’re afraid of some big dog? I’ve half a mind to check whether you are actually a man underneath all those clothes,” one of the other nobles said, a stout older man with a greying mustache and garish clothing.

Lady Ellerian looked unimpressed, “Yes, how terrible it would be for him to act like a woman, indeed.”

“My Lady, you know I meant no offence to yourself, I simply meant that this boy comes here fit to be hiding in his mother’s skirts rather than take over his father’s position. I find it fair that I question whether his balls are still intact,” the man explained, making another slightly younger man attempt to hide a chuckle with a cough, and Anduin rolled his eyes and sighed. 

“Lord Lescovar, if you could please refrain from insulting Master Jorah that would be much appreciated,” Anduin said, irritation barely restrained by the facade of politeness. 

“Of course, my King,” the man said with a bow, but he was clearly of the opinion that he was humoring him. Nathanos made it clear that he was not when walked to Anduin’s side, drawing an arrow from his quiver to fiddle with as he stared the man down. Lescovar swallowed, and bowed again, more sincerely this time. 

“Now, Master Jorah could you please tell us what happened?” 

“I’ll do my best, my King,” Jorah took a deep breath and let it out slowly, “My father and a couple guards had come to the… establishment I was staying in last night to retrieve me. I didn’t want to go with him, and I argued a bit with him but I decided I would go back to the estate with him in the end. I lingered behind to umm… well say goodbye to my companions from the night before and when I left my father and his guards were all standing around outside the establishment trying not to be noticed by the other people on the street. Right as I was leaving this person emerged from the shadows of the street and, before any of the guards could even draw a blade, stabbed a dagger right into my father’s back. They then fled, jumping up on the roofs like a cat and turning only once to throw a dagger at me before disappearing.”

“Are you injured? From the dagger they threw?”

“No, my Liege, they missed entirely. It went right past me, luckily.”

_ Luckily indeed, _ Nathanos thought, but kept his doubts to himself. Nothing about the story added up, not how they knew the Ridgewell’s would be there, not the assassin waiting for Jorah to leave the building to strike, not them missing so terribly the dagger didn’t even get close to him. Someone sent to take out a high-profile target would be of immense skill; if they had genuinely missed, Jorah would still be injured just not gravely wounded.

“And what is your father’s condition? Did… I was under the impression that he survived from what you’ve said.”

“Yes, he is alright. A young Priest was out buying supplies for the church or some such and happened by when the attack happened. She was able to heal father of the primary wound, though the poison is still working through his system and he will be out of commission for a number of days at least. We brought him back to the estate to rest and heal with the help of a nurse,” Jorah explained, fidgeting with the hem of his coat. “I don’t know if it’s of any significance, but the assassin was wearing a bandanna over their nose and mouth and I wasn’t able to get a good look at them, but I thought their eyes looked red.”

“Like mine are red?” Nathanos asked.

“Uh, yes, Lord Marris, like yours are red. The bandanna was red as well, though there was a weird bit at the bottom that looked purple or black, I couldn’t tell.”

“Defias.” Anduin and the nobles all said at the same time, though Anduin seemed more resigned and the nobles more angry. 

“Who?” Jorah asked, and Nathanos almost pitied him for the vehement disgust that the other nobles looked upon him with. 

“The horrid, bottom-feeding, self-important ‘brotherhood’ that arose from the Stonemason’s guild after they murdered my cousin Tiffin, the Queen at the time and King Anduin’s mother. Surely you know some of our city’s history, boy?”

“O-oh, yes of course I’ve heard of how the Queen died, I just never put a name to the group I suppose. I’m… I’m not great with history and names and dates and stuff like that, never was,” he looked embarrassed, but also like he had too much on his mind to be remembering much of anything and was making his best excuse. 

“I’m sure you’re shaken up and it slipped your mind, Master Jorah, that’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Anduin assured him, and Jorah seemed to relax somewhat. “Still, if the Defias are sending assassins after our Noble houses, nevermind recruiting Undead, this is highly alarming and certainly a cause for concern. I will increase guards near each of your estates, hopefully that will keep them at bay until we can suss out who is sending them and cut them off at the head. Master Jorah, if it would make you feel safer I would also send some of the palace guards to escort you home and keep a watch on you and your father. Although it is fair to assume the attack was intended for your father because of your family’s seat in the House of Nobles, we can’t say that for sure--it is possible that he has personally insulted the Defias somehow and they’re coming after him specifically. 

“What we need is information, and unfortunately information takes time. For now all I can do for any of you is try to keep you safe and dedicate myself to finding out how and why this is happening. For today I will be adjourning court now, and I will not be holding it tomorrow. Please, go to your homes and remain there where you can be better protected, and hopefully when we re-adjourn in two days’ time I will know more than we know now.” 

Anduin stood, and the nobles bowed to him as he took his leave, Nathanos and Deva trailing behind. As they made their way to Anduin’s rooms, Nathanos couldn’t help but attempt to rehearse in his head what he wanted to say to him about what had happened in the infirmary earlier, and try to find a way to apologize for a slight even if he didn’t know what it was. 

When they entered the room, however, his plans were instantly dashed as Deva froze up in place, staring at the corner, “Is something there girl?”

She started for a moment longer, leaning forward and hackles rising a hair, before suddenly relaxing, and shaking out her coat.  _ Odd, _ Nathanos thought,  _ I’ve never seen her do that before. _

His thoughts were interrupted by an apparently oblivious Anduin who had slumped into one of the seats at his dining table and looked up at Nathanos, “I think Jorah is involved.”

“You do?” Nathanos asked, surprised. Jorah may have seemed a tad suspicious but he hardly seemed competent enough to have secret dealings with the Defias.

“The dagger that didn’t even graze him? The perfect timing of the attack for him to see it was a red-bandanna-wearing figure? His father coming to retrieve him that morning when he isn't known to do that for risk of his reputation? It doesn’t add up.”

“You’re right about that, but I don’t think this is Defias. And I don't think Jorah had anything to do with it. This has Sylvanas written all over it, especially the assassination of someone of enough importance to get you to lower your palace security--which I think was a massive mistake, by the way. The Defias are well known boogeymen in these parts and it would be easy as anything for her to dress up a Dark Ranger as one and have them for the assassination. She probably didn’t bet on Jorah noticing the eyes, or if she thought he would, didn’t think it was important.”

“I disagree, this has the Defias written all over it as well. They’ve been stirring up trouble in Westfall since the war ended, taking advantage of how weakened the Alliance is after all the fighting. Vanessa VanCleef has been chomping at the bit to take out Ridgewell for years since he was the most vocal member of the House of Nobles to speak against her father. But the timing of the attack was too perfect, and the way the assassin missed Jorah is likely a means of writing off his guilt because he was ‘attacked’ without doing him any harm. He may seem simple, but Jorah can be a cut throat politician when he wishes to be, and I have no doubt after years of railing against his father, as well as openly speaking against how he treated the Stonemason’s guild on multiple occasions, that Jorah Ridgewell is involved in the attack,” Anduin was standing now, brows furrowed and fist clenched on the back of his chair.

“Or, as I said, this was Sylvanas trying to get you to reallocate your forces and SI:7 agents to Westfall and weaken yourself in the process. She probably needed to ensure that Jorah lived so that you would get the ‘full’ picture, hence the poorly thrown dagger that was only meant to scare him, not actually hurt him,” Nathanos argued back, irritated that Anduin wouldn’t see how much danger he was putting himself in by believing in this Defias bullshit. 

“ _ Or _ you’re both wrong, as well as idiots,” a scratchy, sarcastic, and all-too-familiar voice said from the shadowed corner Deva had been staring at earlier, and emerging from the darkness was Lilian Voss. 

Nathanos has his bow drawn and aimed at her chest before she can take another step, “What the  _ fuck _ are you doing here Voss?” 

“Now, now, Blightcaller, no need to be hasty,” she replied, hands raised over her head in a show that she wasn’t armed. Not that she needed to be, mind, and Nathanos knew better than to think no visible weapons meant no weapons at all, but he understood and appreciated the gesture nonetheless, and lowered his bow. 

“You’ll have an arrow through the skull before you can think about pulling any of your weird purple fire bullshit on the King,” he said, watching her carefully. “Consider yourself warned. Now, what do you want?”

“Fair enough. I’ve come to ensure you were safe, hard to believe as that is, because Sylvanas has lost her mind and Anya and I can’t fix it alone,” she looked to Anduin, “May I sit and explain what’s going on?”

Anduin sighed, looking between them, “Please, be my guest.”

He sat at the seat Valeera usually sat in, and Voss sat across from him in Nathanos’s regular seat, leaving Nathanos to stand by the door with an eye on all the exits. 

Lilian looked at Anduin for a moment, as if considering where to begin, before she once more stood and pulled aside a portion of her cloak to reveal a dagger. Both Nathanos and Anduin tensed, until they realized it was not sheathed, but actually stabbed into her abdomen, having struck her from an upward angle. She pulled it out, wincing, and put it down on the table. “Your mysteriously poorly aimed throwing knife from this morning’s attack,” she grumbled, then pulled a vial of red liquid out of her pocket and knocked it back. “Ridgewell’s assassin wasn’t aiming at Jorah, she was aiming at me.”

“And you were present why?”

“Because I found out about the attack last night and had hoped to stop it. I was partially successful, but I wasn’t able to get eyes on the second assassin before it was too late.”

“Wait, the second assassin? There were two?”

Voss looked unimpressed, “Yes, one for each Ridgewell. I took out the one intended for Jorah before he could strike, but wasn’t able to find the other without revealing myself.”

“Which explains why the assassin waited for Jorah to exit, they were meant to be attacked at the same time.” 

“Precisely. I had to step into her line of sight to try and throw a dagger of my own, but she got to me first and then was gone before I could retaliate. Thankfully, Jorah and his guards were busy tending to his father and didn’t notice me.” 

“So if you heard about the attack you know who sent them, then? Was it Sylvanas or the Defias?”

She smiled, sharp and unkind, “The simple answer would be:  _ yes. _ ”

Anduin’s brow furrowed, “I don’t understand. What do you mean, yes?”

“It’s rather simple, really. You see, those two things are no longer separate; Sylvanas has taken the Defias in under her banner, promising them strength to tear down the walls of Stormwind and take it for themselves,” she explained, and Anduin seemed lost for words.

“That's…”

“Literally the worst case scenario for you and your people, I know. Crazy Banshee bitch? Bad. Crazy cutthroat terrorists playing at revolution? Really bad. Both working together? That’s a death sentence, and not just for you, but for all of us.”

Anduin cocked his head, “I mean no offense, but I had always been under the impression that the Forsaken looked kindly on taking Human ranks into their own, on converting us to your cause, so to speak. Why do you look on this act with so much disdain?” 

“The Forsaken is about choice, always has been, always should be. But now Sylvanas has gone off the rails, started raising Undead that don’t have their own minds or personalities, that she can use as her tools and toys and throw away, that are robbed of their personhood just as much as Arthas would have robbed us of it. It’s a disgrace to what we are, a disgrace to everything she was and had created, and I, for one, won’t stand for it.” 

“I wasn’t aware will was such an important part of your culture,” Anduin said, curiosity in his tone.

Voss curled her lip in disgust, “Will is all that separates us from the Scourge. It isn’t out culture, it’s our essence. But that doens’t matter right now, we have more important things to discuss like the rapidly increasing Defias numbers, a likely plot on your life, the kill-order on Nathanos’s head and the resurrection of Edwin VanCleef.”

“You keep tossing information at him like that, he's going to explode Voss. Not all of us are accustomed to your close-notes style reporting,” Nathanos said from where he stood at the door, and she just looked at him confused for a moment before looking and Anduin--whose brain was clearly trying desperately to play catch up on everything she’d just said--and smirking.

“I forgot not everyone has experience with my particular style of expediency.” 

“Sure you did,” Nathanos snorted. “My King?”

“I’m… I'm good, I think. That was just a lot to take in. Your first point is fairly straightforward; their numbers are increasing because Sylvanas is raising dead Defias members back into their service, right?” 

“Yes, she has given Lenara her horn to raise as many Defias as she can without raising too much alarm. They’ve also set up a perimeter to try and keep news of their business trapped within the province.”

“That explains the lack of reports coming out of Westfall this past week. Honestly I’d started to think they’d gone back into hiding but I suppose that was a stupid thing to hope for.”

“As I said earlier, you’re both idiots,” Voss just smiled when Anduin glared at her. 

“The part about a plot on my life is nothing I’m not used to, though any details you have would be helpful. I’m more worried about this kill-order on Nathanos and the return of Edwin VanCleef.”

“I don’t have any helpful details, not really, just that Sylvanas has somehow managed to infiltrate your castle while Shaw and Nathanos were in Stranglethorn and plant someone here to kill you eventually. I might be important but most of the classified information sticks with the Dark Rangers--Anya might know more but I’d have to ask her. As for the kill-order, it simply states that any New Forsaken who sees Nathanos Blightcaller should consider him an enemy of the Dark Lady and treat him as a member of the Alliance. If he attempts to enter any fortifications or lands that belong to the New Forsaken he will be killed on sight. Fairly cruel coming from the woman who gave almost everything to save him, once upon a time,” Voss looked at him sadly, something almost like compassion in her eyes before turning back to Anduin. 

“VanCleef is a typical story: she found his body and raised him to the full height of Undeath much like she did Derek Proudmoore. He’ll be at heightened strength and have increased abilities, like Nathanos here, as well as retain a reasonable portion of his prior appearance. I fear this is going to make him even more persuasive as a leader than if he looked like me or a standard Forsaken, which is likely why Sylvanas did it. You humans are awfully picky about looks.”

“Okay, alright, this is very bad, but,” Anduin sighed and ran his hands through his hair, “ _ But _ we can figure it out. We will figure it out. Let’s start with Anya, who is she, where is she and why is she helping you?” 

“Ah, right. Anya is one of Sylvanas’s most trusted Dark Rangers, and has been unerringly loyal to Sylvanas for longer than I’ve been around, living or dead. However, this loyalty apparently also comes with a strong sense of who Sylvanas is as a person. You see, after Nathanos failed his test of loyalty miserably in Stranglethorn, the Dark Lady immediately and without question or remorse put a kill-order on his head, claiming any who turn against her must pay with their lives. Anya found it strange, and asked the Dark Lady if she did not wish to at least try and capture him, to see if she could fix whatever corruption the Alliance had put in his head. Sylvanas denied her, told her off for speaking out of turn, and ordered Anya to Westfall to oversee the raising of VanCleef. This was apparently so out of character for Sylvanas that Anya started to question her sanity, and contacted me with as much information as she could deliver discreetly, and here I am, making sure you and Nathanos are safe.”

“And why help us, why protect us?” 

“You mean other than that allowing you to die would be a direct advancement of Sylvanas’s plans, which we are now conscience-bound to stop? Well, I do suppose I owe something to Nathanos, and I would prefer he didn’t die. Anya feels the same. The Forsaken have nothing to lead them right now, no Queen, no King, no leaders or council, and the only one who’s stepped up to the plate is that light-touched monstrosity Menethil. Over my undead body, I say. Like, listen, I’m all for female leadership, but I don’t want to be in charge and that Naru-blessed bitch isn’t eligible in my books, so this bastard,” she motioned to Nathanos, “is the closest thing we’ve got to decent leadership prospects right now. Even if it’s temporary, we need Nathanos around to help us reestablish ourselves after Sylvanas is dealt with.”

“You think I’m eligible to lead the Forsaken?” Nathanos asked, a shocked laugh tumbling out of his lips, “You’re crazier than I thought, Voss.”

“Oh trust me, you have no idea how crazy I am. This isn’t even scratching the surface.”

“And… I almost hesitate to ask this, but what are you planning to do to stop Sylvanas without getting yourselves killed? It sounds like for now Anya is pretending to remain loyal, what about when she’s found out?” Anduin asked. 

“Well, I’m hoping I can sniff out the Banshee’s little infiltrator here in your castle before then and then at least she’d be fairly safe here. Sylvanas can’t make any big moves without alerting literally everyone of who is behind the new Defias uprising, and if she reveals herself she risks giving the Horde reason to help Stormwind. The full power of both factions is far more than some terrorists and what remains of the Forsaken that are loyal to her could handle, so she’ll do most anything to keep her presence secret. If Anya is found out, if would not be hard for you to invite her to the castle, saying she, like Nathanos, has decided to turn against Sylvanas and join the Alliance. Or, if you don’t think that could work, she is more than adept at hiding if you find a place in the castle for her to hole up. Or… What?” she asked.

Anduin was gaping at her, “You mean your plan is to  _ stay here _ if you piss off the Banshee Queen?”

“Yeah, I mean I was planning on staying and investigating Sylvanas’s plant but if Anya gets herself in shit I figured she could come here too.”

Anduin almost looked like he was going to shit himself, “Do you have any idea how difficult a situation that makes for me politically? People barely approved of my inviting Nathanos here, and that I could get away with because he was going to be executed. You and Anya randomly showing up in my castle will be a disaster for me that I don't know if I’ll be able to clean up, nevermind that I don’t know if I can trust you or not.”

Voss squinted at him then turned to Nathanos with a smirk, and switching to Gutterspeak, “You must have a good dick to manage to get both the spymaster and the King wrapped around your pinky so quick.”

Nathanos blanched, “Fuck off, Voss.”

She just cackled, “Lenara told Anya all about you and the spymaster in Darkshire. Really, I’m surprised you didn’t just take him upstairs and rail him like you could have, after pressing him up against that wall and everything.”

“Does everyone in the damn world know about that?” Nathanos groaned, then switched back to common, “My King please promise me you won't introduce this woman to Sanguinar. I just might be shamed to death by their collective antics if you do.”

“Ah, I was wondering what you were talking about,” Anduin rolled his eyes. “I can't make any promises of the sort, unfortunately, if these reports about the goings on in Westfall are true I’ll need to ask Valeera to meet with you, Voss, and get a full report. She is acting spymaster after all.”

Nathanos sighed, “As long as I don’t have to be present for it.” 

“No promises,” Anduin said, turning back to Lilian, “And no promises to you about Anya either. I will permit you three days in the castle to find evidence of an intruder and after that I’ll have to assume that you are the one doing the intruding. If you can pull it off, I’ll see that as decent enough evidence that you’ve been forthright and will allow you to stay here on a long term basis.”

“Most generous, King Wrynn. I’ll get to work right away, then. Is there somewhere I can organize my things from? A base of operations of sorts? I doubt you want me coming in here.”

“You are welcome to use Nathanos’s room, he never uses it anyway and you should be able to sneak in and out undetected with ease.” 

“Very generous of you,” she stood and bowed. “I will take my leave now and begin my investigation. If you wouldn’t mind telling your spymaster that I’ll be around? I would appreciate not being randomly shanked by said Blood Elf.” 

“Of course, Lady Voss,” Anduin nodded to her as she slipped into shadow and out of the room. Once she was gone, Anduin deflated, running his hand through his hair and loosening it from its tie, then rubbing at his eyes. He looked exhausted, overworked to hell, and Nathanos felt guilty about wanting to bring up what had happened earlier in the infirmary, even though he knew he needed to apologize now rather than later.

“Anduin, I wanted to-”

“I’m going to work on issuing new guard rotations and try to get better word out of Westfall, excuse me,” he interrupted, standing abruptly and heading into his office. His words were like a knife to the chest and that same feeling of betrayal was harsh against his ribs. What had he done so wrong to make Anduin treat him this way? Why was he acting like this?

Nathanos sighed, resigned to wait it out and hope he stopped interrupting every attempt he made to apologize, and followed him into his office after taking a book at random off one of the shelves. Sitting down and opening the book, he quickly realized that he’d accidentally grabbed a Historical Drama-Romance written in Thalassian. For all that he would deny it to the world, Historical Romance was one of his favorite genres and he threw himself into the narrative with ardor, hoping to escape the uncomfortable tension in the room. Unlike the other days he’d spent in Anduin’s office however, where the comfort came from the silence not the book, he found himself jumpy and irritated and having difficulty focusing on the tale in front of him, for all that it was actually genuinely interesting to him. 

The day passed slowly, and by the time dinner came around he was exhausted. Keira, however, was apparently a blessing of some unknown God that actually cared about him because she placed not simply a cup of tea, but a full pot in front of him when she set the table. “I ‘eard all about what ‘appened with Master Jorah, nasty business that. Thought maybe you’d like a little extra something to keep your spirits up, Lord Marris. And for you, my King, I’ve brought a nice cup o’ coffee and your favorite dark chocolate cake.” 

She curtseyed, and Nathanos for likely the first time gave her a genuine smile. Anduin did as well, adding, “Thank you, Miss Keira.” 

“Oh it’s nothin’, your majesty. If you need anythin’ else, please just call for me,” she said and left them to their terse silence once more. 

Anduin ate quickly, though he did take the time to savor the cake and his coffee, and the satisfied smile on his face afterward made Nathanos both pleased and unreasonably jealous that he wasn’t the one that put it there. They went back to the office and Nathanos took a final cup of tea with him from the pot, leaving it empty. Returning to the silence from earlier that day, tense and irritable as it was, wore on Nathanos as he tried to concentrate on the tale of the young Quel’dorei Magistrix carried off by Trolls only to realize they were not so savage and cruel as she thought, and even falling in love with one, and though the tea helped to keep him calm, it did nothing for his concentration. 

After the meal Anduin had poured himself a glass of something from his cabinet, and once that glass was empty he looked up from his work at Nathanos, “If you’re finished your tea I would appreciate you leave me to my work in peace.”

“Oh, right. I apologize for intruding, my King,” Nathanos felt off kilter, like the world was spinning out of orbit and he didn’t know how to get it back.

“It’s fine, now get out, Marris. I don’t want you here.” 

The breath was punched out of his lungs and for the second time that day, Nathanos was immensely grateful that he couldn't’ cry. Why was he being so soft about everything? Where the fuck were these emotions coming from and how did he get rid of them? He headed toward the door, letting his feet fall loudly against the wooden floorboards and when he reached the door he poked his head through and looked to the guard who stood watch.

“Walk down the hall with heavy footfalls and then return as quietly as possible,” he instructed her quietly.

“What?” she looked at him like he’d sprouted an extra head.

He flipped her a gold, “Here, for your trouble. Now get to it.”

He didn’t wait for her reply before closing the door loudly and slipping into the shadows, sneaking his way back to Anduin’s office. Deva looked up at him as he entered, and he motioned for her to be calm, happy to see her return to snoozing at Anduin’s desk. The man himself was not seated, rather standing at the counter pouring himself another drink, this one taller than the last one. Clearly, he was letting loose now that he thought himself alone.

“I’m glad you don’t judge me for my drinking, Angel,” Anduin said, smiling down at Deva as he returned to his seat at the desk. “Do you think I was too cruel to him? Should I be kinder when I don’t know the whole story even though I feel like he’s stringing me along?”

Deva stood and pressed her nose into Anduin’s thigh, whining and licking at his hands when he scratched around her ears and under her chin, “Sometimes I think I’m losing my mind, Deva, with all that I want but can’t decide whether I can have.”

And then he returned to his drinking, and looked forlornly at the door to the balcony. From the shadowed corner he’d hidden himself in Nathanos wondered just what in the fresh hell Anduin meant by ‘stringing him along’ but he’d just have to add that to the list of things he was apparently apologizing for. He was angry at him, he realized, for making him feel so small, so worthless that he’d doubted his own actions for a second, but he also felt his chest ache at the sight of the young King drinking away his woes and knew beyond a doubt that he wasn’t going to be getting over him any time soon. Damn but he hadn’t wanted to fall in love with something unattainable again, gods knew his heart probably couldn’t take it, but here he was, wishing for nothing more than to make Anduin smile again and put down the bottle of whiskey he poured glass after glass from. 

By the time he was finishing his third, and was well past the point of drunk, Nathanos couldn’t hold himself back from stepping out of stealth to stay his hand from pouring another glass from the bottle he’d ended up bringing to the desk. “That’s enough, Anduin. You’ve had enough.”

Anduin recoiled from his touch like it burned, “That isn’t your decision to make, Nathanos. I’m an adult, I can do what I want.” 

“You told me it was my duty to protect you and here I am trying to do it and you won’t let me.” 

“This isn’t protecting me, it’s controlling me, asshole. I don’t want you here, I told you that already.”

Nathanos flinched, “I just want you to be okay.”

He didn’t mean for the words to come out so soft, or so broken, but he felt like he’d just handed Anduin his heart and Anduin seemed to understand that too, because his frown lessened, “I am okay.”

“No, you’re not. You drinking away your emotions because you wouldn’t let me talk to you or apologize for what happened at the infirmary earlier. An ‘okay’ Anduin Wrynn wouldn’t do that, not even to someone he hated.”

Anduin shook his head, “I don’t hate you, Nath. Light help me, I think I might be in-”

And suddenly the strange feeling in his chest peaked, forcing a harsh cough from his lungs and Nathanos quickly covered his mouth with his hand. For a moment, Anduin looked annoyed, likely thinking this was for show, but as the single cough turned into a veritable fit, and his body shook with the force of his lungs heaving around nothing, his irritation turned to concern. When he could finally draw breath without coughing Nathanos pulled his hand away from his mouth, only to stare in horror at the thick, darkened blood he found splattered there. 

“Nath? Nath, are you alright?” Anduin was standing next to him, hand on his shoulder and if the world wasn’t rapidly spinning around him he might have been relieved by the closeness.

“I’m… not,” he said before another fit of coughs wracked him, sending him, shaking, to his knees on the floor. The world was spinning and the edges of his vision were going dark more rapidly than he could comprehend, but somewhere in the haze he felt Anduin’s hands on his face, running through his beard and his hair, and the soft press of lips on his forehead.

“Please don’t die,” the words were reverently whispered, a prayer uttered in desperation against his skin, “I couldn’t bear it if you died.”

And the world faded to nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm endeavoring to edit before I go to bed today and after I make dinner, but we'll see if that happens. Until then, probably some big grammar mistakes because I didn't read over each section the way I normally do. Sorry for the big Angst chapter, I promise it will all work out (mostly). I feel I should share too that my note on my planning page for Lilian's entrance was "emerging from the shadows like truth coming out of her well, to inform them both they are idiots" because its both true and I love her.
> 
> Also, I'm sorry my dumb polyamorous ass doesn't know how not to write multiple pairings, I'm trying to figure out how to resolve my mild love triangle and I have a few ideas but whatever I end up doing I PROMISE Anduin and Nath will be together!!! I'm not a liar liar pants on fire, it's just that Nath and Mathias are writing themselves at this point and I am helpless to stop it lmao.
> 
> Hey also, I made a tumblr: [ come say hi! ](spookykittenwrites.tumblr.com) (I'll post any personal updates about posting delays or ideas i'm working on etc. here as well as answering writing prompts if/when I'm in the mood)


	9. Give Me One Excuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something so warm  
> Turned out to be  
> Something I shoulda known  
> Would be the death of me  
> Baby, I tried  
> I promise I'm usually better than this  
> And now I can't even recognize myself anymore  
> You turned me into this
> 
> Please, give me something to  
> Convince me that I am not a monster  
> Babe, give me one excuse  
> Give me one excuse  
>  \-- BANKS, "Alibi"

“Please don’t die,” Anduin whispered against the cool skin of Nathanos’s forehead, sending up his heart and words in prayer to the Light, “I couldn’t bear it if you died.”

But despite his prayers, the man in his arms slumped, and fell so utterly and horrifyingly still he felt his heart tearing itself apart. He hadn’t meant to yell, he hadn’t meant to get angry, and now he might lose him before he ever admitted he loved him. Almost in hope it might wake him, Anduin laid a kiss against his lips and confessed, “I love you.”

Tears welled in his eyes when nothing happened, when even despite the absurdity of the hope, its being crushed made him feel so broken too. This was no fairy story, and he was no prince kissing back to wakefulness his poisoned beloved, and yet he felt angry at the world, and at himself, that he wasn’t able to bring him back, not on his own anyhow. That thought seemed to wake his logic, and he knew he needed to find help from someone who’d know enough about poisons or Undead to actually do something more than hope. Light curse him he didn’t even know if Nathanos was unconscious or truly dead, none of the typical signs useful for indicating whether or not his soul remained attached to his body. 

Shaky and terrified, Anduin stood and, reminded of the drinks he’d had by his own unsteadiness, called on the Light to cast away most of his drunkenness. He whistled for Deva, “Watch over him, Angel, make sure no one comes to finish the job.” 

She cocked her head at him, then pressed her nose to his thigh and huffed a not-quite-bark. He scratched behind her ears, and then left to call for Valeera and to find Voss. Once he made his way to the door, he looked at the guard, who appeared shocked at the sight of his tear-stained face and shaking form, “Find Valeera and have her come here.” After a moment of thought he added, “Keira as well, actually. And if they arrive before I return tell them to attend to him as best they’re able. They’ll understand quickly what I mean.”

The guard bowed and headed off down the hall toward the servants quarters, likely looking for Keira first as she’d be the easier one to find, and Anduin watched her go for a moment before turning the opposite direction and heading to the quarters he’d initially allocated to Nathanos before the man started all but sleeping in his rooms instead. Anxiety grew in his chest the closer he got to Nathanos’s room; if Voss wasn’t there he’d have no way to find her, and the longer he spent searching the closer he’d get to losing Nathanos for good, if he hadn’t already. With shaking hands he knocked on the door and waited a moment, then called out, “Lilian this is Anduin, I need your help.” 

To his immense relief the door cracked open and Lilian poked her head out, “You’re going to get me caught calling out my name like that.” 

“There isn’t time, I need your help right now,” and he reached forward and tugged at her arm. She didn’t budge and he made a frustrated noise, “Nathanos is dying and you’re the only person who’s going to be able to tell me how to fix it or if he’s already dead.” 

Her eyes widened, and for the first time the cold, sarcastic indifference she wore like a mask faded, “Lead the way.” 

He dragged her behind him, completely ignoring the alarmed guards that saw them pass but knew better than to intervene, all the way to his rooms and burst in, going immediately to the office where Nathanos was still on the floor. Deva was standing over him protectively, but she moved aside when he and Lilian approached. Lilian kneeled down next to his prone form, and started to move him around to get a better look at him. He wasn’t sure what she was looking for, but her touches were sure and it settled some of his stress to know, at the very least, that she was confident in her ability to determine his state. 

Footsteps rushing down the hallway behind him startled him from his observation, and he turned in time to see Valeera and Keira come into the room looking some combination of irritated and concerned. Valeera opened her mouth to ask something then froze, looking over Anduin’s shoulder with her body tense and a hand on the hilt of her dagger.

“Good to see you too, Sanguinar,” Voss said, and Anduin realized she was what Valeera was reacting to. “Well, Wrynn, the bad news is that I've never seen a poison like this before and I’m honestly not sure what to do to neutralize it, but that said, the good news is that he isn’t any more dead than he was this morning.”

She laughed at her own joke, but Anduin was too tired and too relieved to join her. “Valeera could you-”

“I will take a look at him once you tell me why Voss is here and why you seem to think she is trustworthy,” Valeera snarled.

“Oh… right I was meaning to speak to you but I got distracted. Voss arrived earlier today and helped me and Nathanos put some pieces of the puzzle together regarding Sylvanas’s plan. She asked to stay in the castle and help suss out an agent of the Dark Lady’s who was put here to assassinate me.” 

“From where I’m standing finding the Banshee’s agent isn’t all too difficult, I’m looking at her,” Valeera drew a dagger, and Anduin heard Voss do the same. 

Voss tsked, “Careful, Sanguinar, I’m not going to attack anybody but I’m not gonna stand here and take hits if you throw the first dagger.”

“See? She’s just here to kill you and Nathanos, you can’t trust her.”

“Valeera, please. She’s here because I trust that her intentions toward Nathanos are good and because she is the only person who could figure out how to fix him,” Anduin tried to remain calm, but his nerves were frayed with emotions and he wasn’t sure how long he could put up with these two. 

“And it was oh so coincidental that he gets sick and collapses from poison today of all days right after she arrives,” Valeera replied, sarcasm dripping from her words.

Anduin wasn’t sure how to respond except to say that he had a good feeling about her, which he knew Valeera wouldn’t buy for a second. Thankfully, he didn’t have to say anything, because Keira took a timid step forward, drawing all their attention when she sniffled. 

“Did ‘e eat or drink anythin’ other than ‘is tea today?” her voice was thick with tears and Anduin instantly understood her expression to be guilt. 

“I don’t think so, no. He doesn’t usually consume anything…”  _ Oh. _

“Lady Sanguinar you can relax, Lilian didn’t do anything wrong,” she said, her voice breaking and accent slipping away, “This is entirely my fault and I’m so, so sorry, my King.” 

“Keira what are you talking about?”

“I… I should have known someone would notice the cups. I was stupid, I assumed he’d be resistant to anything but I should have put an antitoxin in just in case. I should have been more careful. I should-”

Anduin came up and put a hand on her shoulder, “Keira, hey it’s alright. There’s no way you could have known that anyone was out to get him. Hells, we only learned about the kill-order on his head today ourselves. You had no reason to suspect that anyone was after him, and I know that sort of stuff is expensive.”

She just shook her head, “You don’t understand, I never told anyone the tea was for  _ him. _ I knew he was particular about maintaining his image so I figured he wouldn’t want people to know that he liked spiced rooibos, especially seeing as most humans think it's all frilly and Elven. If someone was putting something in that tea, it was intended for you, my King, not for Nathanos.” 

“And yet he is unconscious from whatever poison it was,” Valeera said, sounding contemplative and almost a little afraid. “Someone went to the effort of handpicking, or Light help us  _ developing _ a poison that would work on both a human and an Undead, just on the off chance that Nathanos was drinking the tea. Whoever is behind this needs to be caught, and soon.” 

“Who is behind it is fairly obvious, Sanguinar,” Voss replied, leaning against the door jamb, “It’s more a matter of finding whoever she planted in this castle to do her bidding. And if anyone is going to manage that expediently it’s going to be one of us. You may not like it, but I do think this whole mess will be cleaned up fastest if we work together.”

Valeera huffed, “You’re right. For now, I’ll tolerate you being here because we need you, but after that consider your time limited.”

“How kind of you, thank you,” Voss sneered, then surprisingly turned to Keira, “You alright, Fuchs?”

She wiped her face and gave a weak smile, “Yeah, I’m fine, Voss. Just a little shaken up.” 

Voss hummed, “You must be real damn special, Wrynn, to have the Uncrowned send their best alchemist and poisoner to you to keep you safe.” 

“You’re being generous, Lilian, we both know I’m not the best.” 

“Damn near, though, Clar. Real damn near.” 

Keira turned to look at him, “I suppose some honesty is in order, but I’d like to have a look at Lord Marris first. He may not need immediate attention, but if he does then it would be best I learn that now rather than later.” 

“Of course. Please, if you can help him in any way I…,” Anduin paused to get the tremor out of his voice, “I would like him on his feet again as soon as possible. I really can’t afford to be out two of my best agents right now.” 

Keira nodded, and headed into the office, pulling a small set of vials out of some hidden compartment in her dress as she went. Anduin wanted to follow behind, but he doubted his hovering would be helpful and the last thing he needed was to get in her way. Instead, he turned to Valeera and tried to give her a smile, but knew he failed when the hard expression on her face softened into compassion.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine, Anduin,” she said softly, coming forward to give him a tight hug. Her arms were strong and the weight of them holding him was comforting in a way he always forgot until she wrapped them about him again, and in that moment he was infinitely grateful for her being here with him.

“Thanks Leera,” he mumbled with his face tucked against her shoulder, trying to hide the way his eyes teared up again and his lip quivered. 

As he leaned against Valeera and took in the comfort of her embrace he heard Lilian and Keira speaking softly, and he pulled away to look over at them, “Anything you were able to determine?” 

“Unfortunately nothing more than Voss already was--that he’s still well, not alive per se, but his soul is still present in his body, and that he was definitely poisoned. Whatever this poison is, it’s not one I’m familiar with that’s for certain, and honestly that doesn’t bode well for him in terms of finding an antidote,” she explained, looking a little shaken. She then turned to Voss, “Lilian perhaps one of your Forsaken alchemists could take a look and determine what the poison is so we can figure out how to neutralize it? I tried giving him a standard antidote but it didn’t have any effect.”

Voss sighed, “I’m sure someone would be able to help but I don’t know who all we can trust, especially those who would be able to get here quickly. I’m assuming this poison is still doing damage to him the longer we leave him?” 

“Unfortunately, yes. His body is slowly dispersing the poison but until it’s able to fully do so he will need something that tethers him to his body more securely than just his will or we may lose him. This poison is strong, and he has a lot of it in his system, so it may take a long time for him to heal naturally if he isn’t brought something to get the poison out of his body,” she ran a hand through her brown curls. “Either we need to find an antidote or we need to heal him, and right now I’m not sure how we could go about doing so.”

“Well, I doubt Wrynn is going to like it but I do know one sure way of keeping an Undead from expiring while we wait for them to heal,” Voss said, looking at Anduin a little apologetically. “You have to get them at least six feet under the earth and bury them until they wake on their own.”

Anduin blanched, “ _ What?” _

“I know how it sounds, but I promise no harm will come to him by being buried. You see, Undead recover by finding closeness to the death we were robbed of, either by feeding on the near or recently dead, or by resting under the earth. It’s actually the only way for Undead to ‘sleep’ the way that living creatures sleep.” Lilian then looked considering, “It might be difficult for you living folks to bury a friend though, I suppose, so I will take care of it if you’d prefer. Unless we had a necromancer or Val’kyr around to help him heal I’m not sure what all we can do besides this--if the poison is as strong as Clar seems to think, even a Shadow Priest might be a dubious bet at best for keeping him stable while his body recovered.” 

_ Like how my Light was barely enough to keep Shaw alive in Stranglethorn, _ Anduin thought bitterly. Why was he never able to help the people he cared about most when it counted? He took a shaky breath in, “If it helps him heal then I’m willing to do it. Valeera please go to the graveyard and see if there are any empty plots that have already been opened or can be opened quickly.” 

“Are you sure you want to do it in the graveyard, Anduin? I’m sure there would be enough unoccupied space within the castle grounds, and that way if he wakes before we retrieve him he doesn’t scare the living shit out of whoever sees him dig himself up out of the earth?” Valeera replied.

“Oh, yes that’s probably a better idea. Could you ask Meadowsong if she could find a space for him in the gardens? And perhaps enlist a couple guards to help us dig?” Anduin was still shaking but his training was kicking in and the fear and stress was being neatly packed into a box in the back so that it could haunt him while he tried to sleep tonight.

“Certainly, I’ll return soon,” Valeera gave him another quick hug and headed out the door. 

“If I may, my King, I know a shaman here in the city who’d be able to get the grave dug in no time at all, no digging required. It wouldn’t take me long to find him if you’d let me bring him here,” Keira offered, and he smiled.

“Thank you, Keira, that would be great. The sooner we have him in the earth the better, I think.” 

She bowed and hurried out the door, leaving Anduin and Lilian alone once again. She looked at him for a time, then sighed, “I’m sorry. I’m sure this isn’t easy and if there was another way…”

“It’s fine. I’m fine. I want him healed more than I want to save myself the pain of seeing him laid to rest under the earth,” he’d hoped to sound resolute, but he just ended up sounding small and sad and scared. 

Lilian considered, “It’s never easy, seeing the people around you fall when nothing happens to you. Especially if you think they did so protecting you.” 

“That’s not…” but he paused, because deep down he knew she was right, “I was supposed to be the one poisoned, I was the one who sent Shaw away, I was at home safe when my father died, I was-”

“Not dying, as is your duty to your people as King,” she interrupted, and he looked up surprised. “I may not pledge loyalty to a faction, not really anyway, but I know the importance of a good leader. And you, Wrynn? You’re a good leader. Your people need you, and it doesn’t serve for you to run off playing hero just so that you don’t have to lose people you care about.”

He swallowed, “I suppose it does make me sound selfish to wish I was in their place doesn’t it?”

“No. Just sad, and worn down from loss and grief. You don’t have to be emotionless, you’re allowed to be upset, just don’t mistake your life for equal in worth to theirs because you love them.”

He wanted to argue that all lives were valuable, that all life should be preserved, but he knew that wasn’t what she was saying. Hells, he knew that she was criticizing his father in many ways for the heroism that got him killed, but Anduin was never able to feel anything other than guilt over his death. If he had been there… He sighed. There was no use in speculating, and right now he had things he needed to do. “I know I kind of paraded you in front of the guards earlier, but it would probably be best if you stay hidden now. I’ll ask a guard to help me carry him down to the gardens.” 

Voss snorted, “I suppose I’ll make myself scarce then.” She went back into the office and promptly disappeared from sight. 

Anduin waited a moment for her to actually find her way out of the room before he headed toward the door. He paused on his way there and went into his bedchamber and searched through the bottom drawer of his dresser for that package Jaina had given him years ago, hoping it would be where he remembered leaving it. Thankfully it was, and he pulled out the pair of Sending necklaces she had gifted to him when she suspected, incorrectly, that he was having an affair of sorts with Wrathion. Even the thought stung in his chest, but he tamped down the lingering feelings and tied one of the pair around his neck and went to the door to get the guard. 

“I need your help and discretion with something, please,” he motioned her inside and she came with a bow. 

“What do you require, your Majesty?” 

“Lord Marris has been injured and I need to take him to the garden to see Mistress Meadowsong, please help me carry him. We need to avoid heavily populated parts of the castle and any servants along the way, and I need your absolute silence about this until I can determine the cause of his ailment.”

“Of course, your Majesty.” 

The guard followed him into his office where Nathanos was lying still as death on the ground, and Anduin had to hastily cover the welling sorrow in his chest at just how dead he looked. He knew, logically, that an Undead would of course look dead when they were unconscious, none of the typical signs of life present in them when they were not in active control of a body that’s lungs did not breathe and heart did not beat, but the utter stillness of his form made a lump form in Anduin’s throat nonetheless. Swallowing thickly, he moved to one side of Nathanos and waited for the guard to get his feet, then they lifted him together and made their way toward the door. 

He was lighter than Anduin had expected, likely missing some standard body fluids and maybe a couple of organs, but still a heavy weight in his arms as they navigated the castle quietly with Deva trailing behind. It was late and few people were up, and the guard was familiar with where there were no patrols or heavy guard at this time of night, so it did not take them long to arrive in the garden and see Valeera speaking with the Night Elf Druid who oversaw the plants and landscaping there. Once they were close enough to the two women, Anduin and the guard placed Nathanos down on the ground and he dismissed her for the evening, thanking her once again for her discretion. 

Kneeling down, he took the second necklace of Sending and attached it to Nathanos’s armor, hoping he’d notice it once he woke. He turned away from where Nathanos was laid and approached Valeera and Meadowsong with a tired expression, “Please tell me there’s somewhere we can put him here?”

Meadowsong grimaced, “I am reluctant to put something rotten in this garden by choice, but there is an empty spot large enough to bury him in if you insist.”

He held in a sigh and an irritated reply at her rudeness, and simply nodded, “Show me.” 

She turned and led him toward a large patch of rose bushes, next to which was a large empty space where the dirt looked recently disturbed. “There was a tree planted here, but something went wrong with it and we had to move it elsewhere until it could recover. The space will be empty for a while until the tree heals or I decide to plant something else in its place.” 

“Perfect. Once Keira arrives with her Shaman friend we will bury him here. If he digs himself up before we come to retrieve him please do not be alarmed, I’ve been told that’s fairly normal,” Anduin gave her a hollow and threatening smile, silently pleased to see her face contort in mild horror. 

He turned to call Valeera over only to see her and a Draenei man he did not recognize picking Nathanos up and carrying him over, with Keira trailing behind them. When they caught up with Anduin, Valeera asked, “This it?” 

Anduin nodded and watched as the Draenei shifted his hold on Nathanos so he had a free hand and then raised it and called upon the Earth to lift itself away from the space before him. With a tremor beneath their feet, Anduin watched in fascination as a large section of dirt and rock lifted in the air, revealing a deep hole into the ground next to the rose bushes. Anduin went up to the man and took over holding Nathanos, “Let me carry him. Leera?”

“Yeah, alright let’s get this over with.”

They approached the hole and looked down, then back at Nathanos, then back down at the hole before meeting eyes over his body, “We didn’t really plan this did we?”

“I mean, he’ll probably be fine if we just drop him right?” 

“That looks at least eight feet deep Leera, we’re not fucking dropping him.” 

Keira cleared her throat, “I happen to have a canvas hammock in my pack, if you think it would help?” 

“Yes, that would help a lot, thank you,” Anduin replied, and she set to work laying it out on the ground so they could lay Nathanos on it. 

Once he was positioned on the material, they lifted it by the ropes on either end and lifted him again, this time lowering him into the grave, thankful for the length of the rope that allowed him to be lowered most of the way before they had to drop him to the bottom. They tossed the ropes in and stood back as the Shaman slowly returned the earth on top of Nathanos, and Anduin tried to banish the thought that he was burying him for good. Valeera put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, helping him calm the fear stirring in his chest. 

“You should get to bed, Anduin. It’s late and we have much to do and discuss tomorrow,” she said softly, and he nodded, allowing her to guide him back into the castle and up to his rooms. 

He felt numb, almost like he wasn’t entirely present in his body, and when he was finally lying in bed with Deva curled up next to him it all came crashing down on him. Nathanos was buried under the earth and he had no way of knowing whether he would make it or not, no way to check on him, and no means of helping him heal. He felt utterly useless and a sob made its way past his lips as he began to tremble. Deva whined and pressed closer, licking his face, but even her warmth and nuzzling wasn’t enough to comfort him.

The memory of seeking out his father’s bed when he was a young boy came to him suddenly, the warmth of his large hands brushing away tears from the night terrors Anduin used to suffer, and the pain in his chest grew. He remembered Bolvar too, how when his father had disappeared he’d sought him out in the middle of the night and fallen asleep curled next to his side. Even Shaw he had sought comfort in when both those men were gone and the Legion was invading their world, though he was older then and he’d not been so sure in their relationship to ask to sleep in his bed, but that hadn’t stopped him from wrapping around him to seek the comfort of his touch. He’d lost that, he’d lost his father, lost Bolvar, very nearly lost Shaw, and now he would lose Nathanos too. 

It felt like hours that he allowed himself to lay there and cry, but eventually he fell into a fitful sleep haunted by the ghosts of those he’d failed. 

The next morning he woke to Valeera standing above him, gently nudging him awake, “You look like shit, Anduin.” 

“Thanks, Leera,” he grumbled, rubbing at his dry, burning eyes and trying to clear his scratchy throat. Apparently long hours of crying weren’t any better than drinking for how they left you the next morning. 

“I brought Voss and Keira by to speak to you about how they’re planning on investigating and what’s going on. And Keira wants to speak to you about her, well, her identity I suppose, though you did already know she was one of mine, so it shouldn’t be anything too surprising.” 

“Alright, I’ll be out in a bit, just let me get dressed and all that.” 

“We’re waiting with breakfast and coffee, take as long as you need.” 

“And let you take all the bacon from my plate? Never.” 

She chuckled and ruffled his hair, then stood and left the bedchamber, closing the door behind her to give him some privacy while he dressed. Even that small action made his chest ache, reminding him of the comfortable nudity he used to show in front of Nathanos and making him miss the man all the more. He sighed and dragged himself from the bed despite Deva’s whines for him to stay, crossing the room to his dresser quickly to avoid prolonged time in the coolness of the room without clothes on. Once dressed, he headed into the main chamber and Deva jumped off the bed to trot behind him.

“Good morning,” he said with a sleepy smile to the three women sitting at the table as he lowered himself into his regular seat. He startled a bit to see Keira dressed in a rogues attire, black and grey with the banner of the Uncrowned stitched subtly into the front of the chest piece, “Back to regular clothes then, Keira?”

“Just for the moment, I’ll likely need to be back in my maid’s uniform to help Lilian with this investigation, but I do admit I hate wearing a dress all the time,” she shrugged and the other two at the table made assenting noises. 

“Right, Valeera said you two had a plan for how to catch this person?” He looked between Voss and Keira questioningly.

“Yeah, we do,” Voss nodded, “In fact we think we already have a suspect, but we’ll need to find better evidence if we want to be sure it’s them. All we have right now is circumstantial.”

“Who?”

Keira took over at this point, “A young cook in the kitchen who came in right around the time that the mission to Stranglethorn took place. You see, Samson got sick, like really sick, and had to take time off to see a proper physician and get better for a few weeks, and in his absence his sous chef took over the position of head chef, promoted one of the junior cooks to sous chef, and thus opened a space for a temp cook to be hired in for a few weeks. It’s the perfect spot to put an assassin, and I think Sylvanas took advantage.”

“I thought all castle staff were heavily monitored? Nevermind the fact that I don't see why it would be necessary to bring someone in for such a short period of time when there are no events planned during those weeks,” Anduin replied, confused. 

“The staff  _ are _ well screened before hire, and unless you’re part of an organization like I am and thus passed through the standard screening by Shaw himself, an assassin getting hired would take an immensity of effort and skill in deception and disguise. As for why they were hired, its common when a position like this opens up for culinary schools and teachers to try and place their students in for short-term internships,” Keira shrugged, “Couldn’t tell you why, but that’s what Samson said when I asked him why someone new was coming in.”

“Well, that all checks out, I guess. And you think this new cook is the culprit?” Anduin hoped it would be that easy, but doubted it. 

Lilian and Keira exchanged a glance and Lilian replied, “Yes, but the problem is we can’t prove it. Something seems fishy about him, but everything about his record is perfect, his history of employment and credentials are all legit and there is no reason to suspect he isn’t exactly who he says he is.” 

“The problem is, if it isn’t him then it’s someone else that we’ve already screened and had hired for years, and that means that they’re likely coming into Sylvanas’s service via the Defias, and trust me that is the last thing we need. If we can’t find information on the new guy I may be able to get word to Vanessa and ask her to withdraw any agents in Stormwind, but despite my good rapport with her I doubt she’d be willing to do so without a price attached,” Keira sighed. “Damn shame Tess isn’t around, she always had a better relationship with Vanessa than anyone.” 

Anduin took a long drink of his coffee, considering the options, “Try to find something on this new cook, and perhaps even look into Samson’s illness. If you can find a reason to believe he was made ill or otherwise took absence without true illness it’s that much more likely that the newcomer is our poisoner. Do whatever you can to find out the truth, and to do so as quickly as possible. Once we make a move against him it will be too late to catch the real culprit if he is in fact innocent.” 

“In that case, I have something I’ve been wanting to look into. I am going to do a little digging in the city then head out for a little while. I should be back by morning but if I’m not don’t be concerned. Clar I’m assuming you’ll be good to keep a low profile investigation going while I’m away?” Lilian turned to her as she stood from the table.

“I’ve managed this past year and a half without you, I’m sure I won’t fall apart in your absence now, Lil.” 

Voss reached over and squeezed her shoulder, “You’d better not.” And then she headed to the office and presumably out the balcony entrance, though she disappeared into shadow once she crossed the threshold of the room. 

Valeera peered at Keira over the lip of her coffee cup with a raised eyebrow, “ _ Lil?” _

Keira colored, “What? Friends call each other nicknames all the time.”

Valeera snorted, “Sure, yeah. Friends. Friends who are privy to stabbing anyone that doesn’t call them their surname regardless of that person’s rank.” 

“Oh come on, that was once, and the Shadowblade forgave her.” 

Anduin sputtered, “Wait hold on, Lilian stabbed the Shadowblade?”

“In her defense they were getting a little friendly and she was in a bad mood to begin with. She apologized later and they told her it wasn't a big deal.” Keira shrugged, “I mean its an organization of jumpy, stabby rogues, what do you expect?” 

“That’s fair, I suppose. Plus, I doubt that trumps the time that Valeera stabbed my father and then yelled at him for startling her the entire way to the infirmary.” 

“Okay, listen that was  _ not _ my fault and he really should have known better than to sneak up on me!” Valeera shot back, defensive. 

“Hold on, you’ve stabbed the High King of the Alliance and you give Lilian shit for stabbing the Shadowblade? Oh that’s rich, Sanguinar.” 

“That’s Shadow Sanguinar to you, Fuchs,” Valeera grumbled, but didn’t actually seem angry. 

“My apologies, Shadow,” Keira bowed her head, a little sheepish but mostly for show. “Well, I suppose now is as good a time as any to explain who I really am. I’m not sure what all Sanguinar and Shaw told you, but as you’ve likely figured out by now I am one of the Uncrowned’s agents and was sent here by the Council to keep you safe. I know we say we’re all about killing kings and what not, but it was decided that your life specifically was needed to order and peace within the Alliance. My main job was to watch and screen anyone who came into contact with you, and ensure that nothing you ate or drank was poisoned.”

“And your name isn’t Keira, is it?”

“No, my name is Clarimonde Fuchs. I was born near Lordaeron in the Eastern Plaguelands and my parents never cared for either the Alliance or the Horde after all that happened there. They died when I was young, in a Scourge attack, leaving me to try and fend for myself in the wilderness. I ended up taking to stealing and putting on little acts in the towns nearby, I was a scrappy little thing and no good at hunting, but like everyone in that situation I was caught eventually in a bad lie with someone else’s jewelry in my pocket. 

“Luck being what it was, I was caught by Thassarian, the Death Knight, and he offered me a choice: I could be conscripted into the Argent Crusade, or I could face the law. I joined the Crusade, and fought with them for a time, but when the war in Icecrown was over I was alone again and wandered the lands near my home. Jorach found me, said he’d heard of the work I’d done assassinating necromancers for the Crusade and offered me a position in Ravenholdt, and when he took up leadership of the Uncrowned, I went with him.”

“What she left out, of course, is that she is one of only a few who befriended VanCleef in Dalaran during the Legion invasion and became an exceptionally talented poison-maker as a result,” Valeera added, smiling.

Keira (Clarimonde?) shrugged, “When you learn from the best, hard things seem easy.” 

Valeera just shook her head with a chuckle, “Only humble rogue in existence, this one.” 

“Spent too long around Paladins, what can I say.” 

“May I ask,” Anduin began, trying to find the proper wording, “I know for the sake of the investigation you must remain undercover, but in private do you prefer to be called by your actual name?” 

“I don’t mind either, honestly, Keira or Clari is fine. Though please don’t call me Calrimonde, you’ll just sound like my grandmother and trust me no one wants that. I also don’t mind Fuchs, it’s what I got used to with the Crusade.” 

“Clari it is then, when I can. I know names might seem unimportant, but I find they mean more than you think at first.”

Clari smirked at him, “That’s why you call Marris  _ Nathanos  _ right?” 

Anduin felt himself blush a hair, “Yes, it is. Anyhow, I’m assuming you both have work to be getting to. I’ll call for these dishes to be taken away when I’m done eating, but I won’t keep you. Plus, Light knows I should get to work as soon as possible too, its alarming how much paperwork an assassination attempt can produce.” 

Both women laughed, and Clari stood first, bowing, “I’ll be off then, my King. Good luck with everything.” 

She followed in Voss’s footsteps out the balcony door, and he started thinking he should just call it the rogue door, because apparently none of the rogues he knew were able to use front doors like normal people. Valeera looked at him for a long moment then reached out to put her hand on his arm, “You’re doing okay, Anduin?” 

“Just exhausted, nothing new.” 

“Well, if there’s anything I can do to help, you let me know.” 

Anduin just shook his head, “You have enough on your plate without needing to watch over my insomnia, Valeera. I won’t trouble you. If I’m really having trouble I’ll just drink some of that tonic you gave me.” 

She grimaced, “Be careful, that shit’s addictive and the last thing you need is another one of those.”

“I thought you weren’t judging me for my vices, Leera,” he frowned at her.

“And I’m not, but I can’t help but worry. I…” she sighed, looking away, “I want to protect you, and help you, and it's hard to do that when you’re destroying yourself.” 

Her words were such a close echo of what Nathanos had said the night before that Anduin almost felt the seams of his self-control completely unravel and he swallowed around the tears threatening to surface, “I think I should take the rest of my meal in my office and get to work. Let me know if anything changes with the guard rotations or if you get any news out of Westfall.” 

“Of course, Anduin. I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?” Valeera’s eyebrows drew together and leaning forward to touch him again, but she backed off when he shook his head and started gathering his meal onto a plate and refreshing his coffee from the pot. 

“I have work to do. Sorry Leera, I don’t want to talk about this right now.” 

He headed into his office with his food and coffee, and by the time he’d put them down on the desk and come around to sit behind it she was gone. Guilt bloomed in his chest at brushing her off, but like seemingly everything else he felt these days he tamped it down to deal with later. Paperwork was hell, and even after his breakfast was finished and cleared, and his lunch as well, he hadn’t even finished getting through various reports of strange activity in the various districts of the city and an increase of red fabric scraps left around for guards to find. If there had been any doubt the Defais were back in full force it was certainly being proven a fool’s hope, and it also seemed like the assassins were targeting the entire House of Nobles if the SI:7 reports on possible Defias agent movement within the city were accurate. Wonderful. 

By the time dinner rolled around Anduin was finally starting in on the noticeably anemic pile of reports from Westfall, and decided to take a brief break to eat in peace this time. Clari came in dressed in her typical maid’s clothes with his dinner, and he gave her a bright smile.

“Find anything out while I was stuck in my office signing things?”

“Unfortunately not, not anything substantial anyway. But I did hear from Voss that she thinks she’s found something. Hopefully she’s right and will be able to present it to you tomorrow when she returns.” 

“Thanks Clari.” 

She smiled, “My King.” 

With a bow she left again, resuming the Gilnean accent she’d been using as she closed the door behind herself and bid the guard good evening. 

Anduin ate in silence, missing desperately Nathanos’s presence during his meals and the way he would nag or look disapproving as Anduin fed Deva scraps off the table. “I miss him, Angel. I miss him so damn much. I was so angry and I said such cruel things and now I don’t know if I’ll ever get to apologize,” he said to the hound, slipping her a scrap of lamb and fighting back tears for what felt like the millionth time that day. 

With a sigh he returned to eating, and when he was done he told the guard to send for someone to clear the plates and returned to his office to finish his work. By the time he was done, he was exhausted, irritated at the lack of knowledge about the situation in Westfall, and feeling strangely lonely. This was the first time in a very long time since he'd gone an entire day without someone sitting nearby to keep him safe and company, and the silence seemed much heavier unshared. He reached out for Deva without thinking and scratched behind her ears, then leaned down further to pet Bastet where she rested against her. 

He stood from his desk and stretched, hearing a number of pops from his back and shoulders as he did so, and headed toward the bedchamber for some rest. If he didn’t get more sleep tonight than he did the night before Valeera would force him to nap tomorrow, and the nobles weren’t going to like him cancelling court when they were indeed endangered. 

Fate, however, had different ideas, and after over an hour of tossing and turning all he could manage to do was miss the strength of Nathanos’s embrace he’d felt that one night he got high on the balcony, and then also the comfort he had found years before in Shaw’s arms. Resigning himself with a sigh, Anduin got out of bed and dressed quickly in civilian’s clothes. 

“Stay here, Deva, I need you to make sure no one sneaks in while I’m away.” 

Then he left the room and snuck down the halls along his usual route, trying to keep away from his mind that he used to be followed by Shaw when he did this, rather than be seeking the man out somewhere away from the castle. He made his way to the infirmary without issue, and stepping inside was only somewhat surprised to see that there were still people working. Pulling his hood down to reveal his face, he recognized the nurse who’d shown him to Shaw’s room before and approached her, “I was hoping I could see Shaw again. Could you show me to his room?”

“It’s rather late, your Majesty, I’m quite sure he’s asleep and it would be best for his recovery to not be disturbed,” she replied, crossing her arms and attempting to look stern. 

He hated lying, but he couldn’t well admit he wanted to hug the man so desperately he was willing to go against doctors’ orders, “It’s urgent business, miss. Please, I need to see him immediately.” 

She squinted like she didn’t quite believe him, but then sighed, “As you say, your Majesty. Please come with me.” 

She led him back to the room Shaw was in and let him in, closing the door behind him after he had entered. Anduin took in the sight of Shaw sleeping and seeing him so peacefully resting almost made him lose his nerve before Shaw startled him by speaking, “I’m not asleep, Anduin. What do you need?” 

Anduin noticed then the way his eyelashes fluttered open, and shook his head in disbelief, “You’re rather good at pretending to be asleep.”

“I woke up the minute I heard you two walk up to the door. Light sleepers survive in my profession.” 

“Suppose I should have figured,” Anduin muttered, shaking his head with a smile. “I… Nathanos almost died.”

And then the words rushed out of him like a flood, all this fear watching Nathanos coughing up blood on his floor, how terrified he was at not being able to heal him or even know whether he was alive, how Voss was there and how she helped, how fucking  _ dead _ Nathanos felt to carry, how awful it had felt to lower him into the grave and his horrible anxiety that he wouldn’t get him back. 

Shaw was sitting up in bed, one hand stretched out to hold Anduin’s shoulder where he’d ended up sitting in the chair next to the bed. “I just… I just wish he was here. I wish you were there. I wish I didn’t have to do this alone.”

“I’m right here, Anduin. I’ll always be here for you.” 

“I know, I know. Thanks, Mathias,” he looked away, a little embarrassed by what he was about to ask. “Do you think I could stay with you for a while?” 

Shaw’s brows furrowed in confusion, but then some sort of realization came over his features and he squeezed Anduin’s shoulder, “Of course.” 

Shaw shifted over on the bed and pulled the covers up to make space for Anduin and Anduin felt nerves tickle the bottom of his stomach. He reached down and unlaced his boots and stripped out of his coat and sweater, and after a pause added his shirt to the pile, craving that skin on skin contact desperately enough to scare himself. Crawling in was a little awkward and the bed was far too small for two men of their size to fit easily, but he ended up curling into Shaw’s bare chest and clinging to him so closely the smallness of the bed was manageable. 

The warmth of Shaw’s skin against his own was calming in a way he couldn’t place, and the closeness of him, hearing his breathing and feeling his heartbeat, settled the anxiety that had been running rampant in his chest. “Thank you,” he murmured against the bare skin of his neck, nuzzling gently. 

Shaw simply hummed and kissed his hair, then brought up a hand to scratch along the back of his scalp and the top of his neck. Anduin shuddered, a whimper escaping his throat unbidden, but thankfully Shaw didn’t seem to mind, and simply kissed his hair again. For all the nails gently running along his scalp sent sparks down his spine, he felt himself lulled by it and quickly fell asleep despite his intention to leave after he was feeling less anxious. 

When sunlight was streaming through the small window and the body beside him started shifting, Anduin woke with a start. “It’s alright,” Shaw soothed, hand running down his back under the blankets, but that didn’t stop the nerves from re-alighting in his chest. 

“Like hell it is,” Anduin heard Priestess Taela’s scratchy voice from behind him and tried to spin around so fast he fell out of the bed. “Well, that was dignified.” 

Shaw snorted, and sat up in bed, reaching out to help Anduin get back up. “Are you here for a reason, Priestess?” he asked, drawing Anduin back into bed and wrapping his arms around him, nuzzling into his neck with a hum. 

“Yes, I am here tae tell the King that he’s overstayed his welcome and that I don’t appreciate him lying tae my nurses,” she said sharply, but the warmth in her eyes softened the words. “But, I can see that you two are a tad more attached than I’d assumed. Dinnae worry, I won’t tell a soul.”

Anduin blushed, embarrassed by her implication but too comfortable to move away and show she was wrong, “Thank you, Taela. I should probably be going, anyhow. I’m sure they need me back at the castle.”

“Of course. Well, on that note, perhaps it would please you tae know that I’ve decided Master Shaw here could be relocated tae the castle for the last few days of his recovery? He’s been doing remarkably well and though I don’t trust him tae return tae his own home just yet, if you would prefer tae have him closer it would not be hard tae arrange for him tae be sent there.” 

“That’s wonderful news! Thank you, really, you’ve done us a world of good. And yes, I would substantially prefer to have him in the caste, I’ll have quarters drawn up for him the minute I get back,” Anduin replied, sitting up and out of Shaw’s arms. 

Taela didn’t look like she believed him about the room for Shaw, but she nodded nonetheless, “O’ course, your Majesty. I’ll have him cleared and sent tae you by evening time.” 

She bowed to him and left the two of them alone as Anduin dressed and put his boots back on. When he was dressed he turned back to Shaw and smiled, “Thank you again, Mathias. I don’t think I would have slept at all if I’d stayed in my room.”

“Glad to help. Plus it looks like its working to our advantage and getting me out of here early, so that’s a bonus.”

“I suppose so yes, though now I think the Priestess thinks we’re dating.”

Shaw hummed, “I’ve been accused of worse things.” 

Anduin squinted at him, “Please make sure her thoughts aren’t shared with anyone?”

“Of course, rumors of that sort are the last thing we need right now. I’m just saying I’m not offended by the idea,” Shaw replied, nodding at him. 

Not quite sure what to do with that comment, Anduin simply smiled and excused himself from the room, heading back to the castle with haste. Despite the fact that nothing he’d done last night had been at all untoward he somehow felt remarkably like he was doing a walk of shame as he crossed the city toward the castle, and the thought of what could have transpired in place of comforting touches made heat rush to his cheeks.  _ That, _ a whiny part of his brain reminded him,  _ is why you didn’t ask to share his bed when you went to him in the past. _ He wanted to tell it to go fuck itself, but he knew it was right. He’d been stupid to seek him out, but he couldn’t deny that it’s what he’d needed at the moment. 

The castle guards seemed surprised to see him entering at this time, but they bowed as he passed and he nodded in return. Once he’d made it to his room, he was pleased to smell breakfast waiting for him behind the door. However, upon opening the door and seeing Valeera staring at him with a highly unimpressed expression, a little of his joy for breakfast faded.

“And just where have you been?” she asked, and though he usually thought of her as an older sister she sure as hell sounded like a mother at the moment.

“I had something to attend to, Valeera, it’s none of your concern,” he snarked, then turned to greet Lilian where she was sitting at the table as well. “Good morning, Voss. Were you able to get what you were looking for yesterday?”

“Yes, and my suspicions were correct it seems. This new cook, you see, everything about him checks out and all his experience and references are perfect except for one thing--by all accounts of his early life, he had a twin sister who he was identical to and nigh inseparable from. According to people in his hometown, they looked so similar even under close inspection one may not be able to tell them apart. However, this sister is missing, and neither of his parents are alive, leaving it a small mystery as to whether this man actually looks like said sister or not. 

“Now, don’t ask me how I got it, you don’t want to know, but I managed to find a pendant that had been gifted to this twin sister’s late husband with her likeness in it. As you can see,” she held out a small locket with an image inside, “this young woman has bright green eyes, whereas your new cook has blue eyes. Given that eyes don’t change color, I’m strongly suspecting that either this new cook is wearing a very clever disguise, or simply looks alarmingly like the young woman and was chosen for the mission based on it. Either way, he’s clearly not the twin he claims to be and I think that’s certainly evidence enough to search his private things and maybe interrogate him a little.” 

Anduin looked at the locket in his hands. Voss was certainly right that this woman had distinctly green eyes, and it was extremely suspicious that her ‘twin’ did not share them. He sighed, “Please try to do the snooping first and the interrogating second?” 

“Sure thing, Wrynn, I’ll be on my best behavior,” she gave him a slightly mocking salute. “Clar and I will go through his things when she’s sure he won’t be around to notice us.”

“Thank you. Whatever you find, bring it to me immediately. While this locket is good evidence I would prefer more if we’re going to be making an arrest, and also I would like to know how deep in Sylvanas’s graces he is before we do so we know how many guards to post near his cell and what sort of questions we should be asking him.” 

“Right, I’ll head out then. No time like the present and all that,” and she left the room (through the rogues door, naturally).

Anduin watched her go, then went over to the table and sat, pouring himself a cup of coffee and dressing it with cream before digging into the biscuits and sausages on his plate. He could feel Valeera’s eyes on him but didn’t grace her with his gaze, hoping she would drop the issue he knew she was hoping to grill him on. 

“You’re really not going to tell me where you spent the night?” she asked. 

_ No such luck _ , Anduin thought, and put down his fork, “I was upset last night and couldn’t sleep so I went to visit Shaw in the infirmary to ease my mind. I ended up falling asleep there.”

“You put yourself in danger to get a little comfort from Shaw? Why did you come to me?” she looked angry, but beneath it he could tell she was hurt.

He sighed, “I wasn’t in danger; this city is fairly safe to walk around in so long as you don’t look like a noble and you taught me well enough to stay mostly hidden anyway. And Leera you know I love you but it’s not the same. It’s…” he paused, unsure how to phrase it, “Sometimes I crave the comfort of other men. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but I do, and I hate to tell you but you don’t exactly fit the bill.”

Her lip drew back over her teeth in a snarl, “You  _ fucked _ him last night? Anduin Llane Wrynn for the love of the Light I have known you to do some irresponsible--”

“No! No, I didn’t have sex with him,” he interrupted, exasperated, once his brain had stopped reeling from the accusation. “Listen Leera it started when I was a boy crawling into my father’s bed after a nightmare, and the craving for that touch never went away. It has nothing to do with being gay, or maybe it does I don’t know, but its not a… a sexual thing.” 

“Hmm,” she looked at him considering, “And he didn’t do anything untoward while you were in his bed?”

Anduin snorted, “This is Mathias we’re talking about, I don’t know if he knows how to do something inappropriate toward me.” 

“That’s a fair point, I suppose. And you’re sure this isn’t some weird crush like you have on Nathanos? I really don't feel like dealing with the three of you mooning after each other like schoolchildren,” she rolled her eyes. 

“No, no, I don’t feel like that about him,” Anduin looked back down at his plate and picked back up his fork to continue eating. “Also, Taela is moving him to the castle for the last few days of recovery so we can be closer.” 

He could feel her staring at him, but apparently Fate was feeling merciful and she decided not to speak. They finished their meal in silence and when Anduin had the dishes cleared away he asked for a guest room to be arranged for Shaw as soon as possible. Once that was done, Anduin stood and dressed in his formal court attire for the day and tried his best to prepare himself for another exhausting day dealing with nobles, though he was at least grateful he had slept so well the night before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a bit late, I've had more to do recently than normal and didn't have as much time to write. Unfortunately along that same vein I will be taking this next week off from this fic to work on other things and get some rest--though I love this work and I'm excited for where I'm going with it I'm starting to get tired writing it exclusively. I also may take it down from weekly to biweekly updates, but I'm not sure about that 100%. 
> 
> That all said, we're heading into some lighter territory for this upcoming arc, so hopefully that brings you all a little joy! Less sads, more fluffs, more funnies. Also, if you haven't noticed I've put a chapter cap on the fic because I've figured out where I'm going with it to the end! I have through chapter 12 planned out right now and after that the next few are in the thinking stage. After this fic I am going to write a follow up that deals with some heavier stuff and a lot more plot than romance, but it's gonna be good once we get there I promise. (I'm making it a separate fic because the style of narration will be a little different and it wouldn't work to switch randomly in style in the middle of this one lmao)


	10. A Little Much for Everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visitor arrives with urgent news, Anduin is forced to confront some of his feelings, an arrest is made, and the rogues still don't know how doors work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess I'll go home into the arms of the girl that I love  
> The only love I haven't screwed up  
> She's so hard to please but she's a forest fire  
> I do my best to meet her demands, play at romance  
> We slow dance in the living room, but all that a stranger would see  
> Is one girl swaying alone, stroking her cheek
> 
> They say, "You're a little much for me, you're a liability  
> You're a little much for me"  
> So they pull back, make other plans  
> I understand, I'm a liability  
> Get you wild, make you leave  
> I'm a little much for e-a-na-na-na, everyone  
> \- Lorde, "Liability"

“As much as it causes me pain to admit, my liege, I agree with Lord Lescovar. Until we are sure this city is rid of the Defias threat there is no way of ensuring our collective safety and thus the safety of Stormwind as a whole,” Lady Ellerian insisted, posture poised and eyebrow raised in challenge. 

Anduin wanted desperately to snort, and tell her that the nobility had nothing to do with the ‘safety’ of Stormwind whatsoever, but he restrained himself and smiled politely instead. “Lady Ellerian I do not mean to diminish the severity of the current threat to your safety, nor downplay your significance to the function of our city, but do you not think that protecting the  _ King of the Alliance _ is perhaps more crucial to not only the safety of Stormwind, but the Alliance as a whole?”

She sniffed, “Last I checked, you had a number of personal guards who are far more talented than the standard palace guards and would more than make up for the difference.” 

_ Fair point _ . Anduin sighed, he had hoped to keep Nathanos’s condition under wraps until the investigation had been concluded, but alas, “Unfortunately, two of said personal guards are infirm and out of commission at the moment.” 

“One,” came a familiar masculine voice from the entry to the throne room, and Anduin felt his heart skip at the sight of Mathias Shaw walking in, weight partially supported on a crutch. “Though I will admit I could likely be beaten by a handful of street urchins in close combat at the moment, given my condition.” 

“It’s good to have you back, Master Shaw,” Anduin said, hoping his excitement didn’t visibly extend beyond what was appropriate for their respective positions. He then turned to the House, “I’ll have a few of the palace guards assigned to each of your manors, to ensure your safety. If there is no other business, I would like to debrief Master Shaw on what he has missed while he was on medical leave.” 

The nobles murmured a little, seeming discontent, but in a unique sign of less-than-complete-incompetence they all managed to take the hint and their leaves. Finally relaxing into this throne, Anduin startled at the soft touch of a hand against his forearm. 

“That kind of day?” Shaw asked, giving him a soft smile. 

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” he sighed and shook his head, standing to walk with Mathias to his room. “I’m glad to see you on your feet. Do you need to make a trip to your home to get clothing and such?”

Mathias patted a bag at his side, “One step ahead of you.” 

“Of course you are,” Anduin chuckled, and started walking at a casual pace toward the guest wing. 

“I was asked by Priestess Taela to convey to you that I’m not to do anything strenuous for at least a couple of days,” Shaw said as they meandered down the halls. 

Anduin cocked an eyebrow, “I already told her that I wouldn’t be returning you to your duties yet.” 

“I have a feeling that isn’t the sort of activities she thinks I’ll be getting up to,” when Anduin just cocked his head Mathias continued, “She said it all with a wink and a nudge, if you know what I mean.”

“ _ Oh _ ,” Anduin colored visibly and looked away. “Right, well seeing as Nathanos is in the ground right now I don’t think that will be a problem.” 

Mathias opened his mouth as if to speak, but then closed it without a sound and looked away, brows furrowed, “I’m sorry I couldn’t be here for that.”

“That’s no fault of yours, Mathias, you have nothing to apologize for,” Anduin reminded him, unsure what to make of the man’s expression. “You helped me a lot last night, that’s what matters.”

“Yes, well I do hope your reputation with the High Priestess doesn’t suffer too terribly for it,” Mathias replied, tone joking but eyes serious. 

Anduin shrugged, “At the least it will distract her from realizing you and Nathanos are… well whatever you are. I am happy for you both, you know.”

He clenched his jaw, and knew instantly from Mathias’s pitying eyes and raised brows that nothing about those words had come out as genuinely as he’d hoped, which was to be expected given they’d tasted like bile on his tongue. Nonetheless, Anduin looked away and sighed, “Sorry.”

“It’s alright…” Mathias paused for a moment, then loosed a sigh of his own, “Anduin if you have a problem with he and I flirting-”

“No, no that’s not an issue at all. Simply keep your relationship professional when it needs to be and it’s not a concern of the crown,” Anduin interrupted, looking straight ahead and hoping Shaw wouldn’t notice the tightness around his eyes, or the clench of his jaw that was almost certainly visible at his temple.

Blessedly, if Mathias did notice, he didn’t comment. “I assure you I’m more than capable of professionalism, my liege.”

Anduin nodded, “That’s good to hear.”

The two men walked in silence for a time as he escorted Mathias to his new room in the castle, but as they approached he broke it once again, planning on inviting Mathias to share a meal with him, “Though I’m sure I’m not who you had hoped to dine with upon your being released, perhaps I would be a sufficient replacement for this evening?” 

Even as the words passed his lips Anduin knew any and all vestige of polite distance to Mathias and Nathanos’s relationship had been abandoned in his heart and, apparently, it was the one doing the talking. He hadn’t intended to sound bitter, like a jealous wife asking her partner where they’d been all night, but damn his traitorous heart for doing it anyway. Maybe Mathias would just ignore the tone? Move on and pretend his king wasn’t jealous of his relationship?

No such luck.

“I… don’t mean to speak out of turn, but are you jea-” Mathias started, but Anduin interrupted.

“I hate to be rude but I have paperwork to attend to, if you would wish to dine with me this evening please come to my room around six bells,” and he turned on his heel and fled as quickly as he could without literally running. Thank the Light he had always been a superior speed walker. 

As he sped through the hallways, gradually slowing his pace until he returned to a normal walking speed, he became aware of Valeera’s presence following him as he neared his room. He paused in a shadowed part of the hall and sighed, “You saw all of that didn’t you.”

“Rather quite the spectacle, glad I didn’t miss the show,” she replied, emerging from the shadows next to him, “Have to say I think the finale could use work though, perhaps a little more shouting in jealous rage and accidental confessions of love?” 

Anduin groaned, “I’m never going to live this down, am I?” 

“Live what down?” asked a different female voice from just down the hall, and Lilian materialized a few feet in front of him. 

“Oh just his  _ super subtle _ revelation of his jealousy over Shaw and Nathanos’s relationship to Shaw’s face,” Valeera informed her sarcastically. “It was rather entertaining if I tad embarrassing to watch.”

“Please stop, Leera, you’re killing me,” Anduin pleaded, burying his face in his hands.

Simultaneously, Lilian was cocking her head, “Nathanos is fucking your  _ spymaster?” _

“I don’t know if they’ve done it, but they certainly seem to want to,” Valeera shrugged.

“Not to rain on the little gossip parade here,” added a third female voice as Clarimonde seemingly apparated from the darkness behind them, “but maybe this would be a better conversation to have in the privacy of the King’s chambers?”

Anduin whipped around to look at her, startled, then clenched his eyes shut and rubbed at his temples. He really needed to stop associating with so many damn rogues. “Are any of you capable of just, I don’t know, walking anywhere normally? Or using doors, for that matter?”

The three women looked at him like he’d grown a second head, then collectively shrugged. 

“Forget I asked. Shall we adjourn to my chambers then?” and he started walking down the hallways, knowing they’d follow.

They walked in silence until the large oaken doors of Anduin’s chambers were firmly shut behind them and Lilian spoke up, “Alright first, we should tell him about the visitor from Silvermoon. Then, I want details on Nathanos and Shaw so that I can hold them over his head once he wakes up.”

“Hold up a moment,” Anduin looked between the three of them, “What visitor from Silvermoon?”

“Oh, right,” Valeera had the sense to look a little sheepish, “I may have gotten so caught up making fun of you for your conversation with Shaw I forgot to mention it. I received a letter from the Ranger General informing me that a messenger would be arriving from Silvermoon today, though given that said messenger arrived no more than a half hour after the letter arrived I think it was most likely an afterthought on the part of Brightwing in some botched attempt at politeness, and perhaps in hope we wouldn’t kill his attache on sight.”

By her posture, Anduin could tell Valeera was frustrated but also amused by the lack of warning given for a Horde courier’s arrival in the city, and he couldn’t help but feel the same, if not also a similarly contradictory mix of impressed by their gall and fear of what must be so important they didn’t wait to use safer channels. It was a ballsy move, sending a messenger into Stormwind all but unannounced, but knowing Lor’themar, not one undertaken without cause. For all he played the politically aloof soldier rather well, the man was far more savvy than he let on, and certainly more than aware of the risk he was taking in sending someone in person. 

“Is the messenger here, then? I should probably go greet them.”

“Oh I wouldn't worry, perhaps best to let them stew,” Valeera replied as she started picking at her nails, any sheepishness gone from her posture entirely, “Make sure they get the message that they aren’t able to just walk in here and have instant priority.”

Anduin sighed, “First of all, Sanguinar, that is my political decision, not yours. Secondly, if they’re sending an actual person here to deliver a message, it’s likely something of exceptional importance, and whether it sits well with us or not, we’d be idiots to ignore something so pressing. Now please take me to see this messenger, I’d rather not keep them longer than I need to.”

With a terse nod Valeera motioned for him to follow her. “Perhaps you could inform Voss of the relationship between our spymaster and Marris, Clari,” she said with the sharp tone that made it clear when a suggestion was actually an order. Anduin briefly felt bad for pulling rank on her, but shook himself out of it — she was a big girl, she could deal with being knocked down a peg when it was needed.

She led him out of the room and down to the war room that was positioned next to the throne room where he saw a raven-haired Blood Elf in deep maroon and grey standing looking irate, first finger tapping against his bicep where his arms were crossed. As they approached he seemed to jolt from some mental reverie and blazed through a series of barely recognizable emotions — irritation and surprise being the only ones Anduin was able to identify — before settling on placid neutrality. 

He bowed to Anduin with a small, contained flourish that Anduin thought was either added on to conform to Human (mis)conceptions about Blood Elf customs, or else heavily restrained from what he would normally do. Unfortunately, Anduin couldn’t figure which was accurate.

“Good afternoon, High King Wrynn, it is my pleasure to make your acquaintance,” the man said in lilting common, “You may call me Magister Xae’lorin and I have arrived to deliver a message from the Regent Lord himself.”

The messenger — Xae’lorin, Anduin mentally reminded himself — bowed once again and held out a sealed envelope. Anduin exchanged a curious look with Valeera and took the envelope. He’d expected a verbal message, not a written one, given that this person had been sent so far to deliver it, especially a person of much higher social rank than he’d expected of a messenger. Either it was of exemplary importance it did not fall into the wrong hands and couldn’t be trusted to the mail system, or there was something he was missing. Perhaps both.

He broke the wax and opened the envelope, pulling out a beautifully filigree-adorned card that was written in a flowing and elegant hand most certainly not belonging to the Regent Lord. It was a simple invitation to a gala in Silvermoon in a number of days’ time, the first of likely a few throughout the rapidly approaching Winter Veil holiday season. Behind the card, on much simpler parchment, was a folded letter than he extracted and read as well, realizing quite quickly this was likely what was really being delivered.

“That’s the Regent Lord’s hand,” Valeera commented, reading over his shoulder. She looked up at the Magister and squinted, then turned back to Anduin, “It’s written in a cipher. Read every third word then skip back to the second after three words. Like this.” She pointed her finger on the page and read the phrase aloud as she showed which words to read in which order.

As he followed her advice, reading in cipher the message in its entirety, he realized why a Magister was sent to deliver the message — not only was it something crucial to keep out of Sylvanas’s clutches, but also had a fire rune etched into it at the end that could probably be set alight with a word from the right magically attuned person. 

“The Regent Lord had hoped you would be able to make your preparations and arrive in Silvermoon before dinner tonight, but I understand if that may not be possible. I would prefer not to stay the night in your… lovely city, but so long as we leave tonight the timing is really not that significant,” Xae’lorin said as Anduin finished reading the letter from Lor’themar. “I was also asked to encourage you to invite your Blood Elf associate to read the letter, but thankfully she was already present when you arrived.”

A smirk tugged at Anduin’s mouth at the irritation he heard in the man’s voice at the mention of Valeera, and bit his tongue to keep from laughing. Whether it was by reputation or personal experience, Xae’lorin was clearly set on disliking her.

“Please give me time to speak with my inner circle, Magister Xae’lorin, then I will confirm the time of our departure. I agree with the Regent Lord that today would be the best day to arrive, but preparations will need to be made to cover my absence over the next few days, especially given the current political state of the city,” Anduin smiled politely, holding in a snort at the relief visible in Xae’lorin’s posture upon learning he wouldn't be staying in Stormwind overnight. “If you would like to walk the city I can assign a guard to ensure the population leave you alone, or perhaps you would like to peruse the castle library? I have quite a collection.”

“The library sounds lovely, King Wrynn, I would appreciate the privilege of seeing your stacks,” he bowed deeply, evidently entirely unaware of Valeera’s silent laughter at the unintended innuendo and genuinely grateful for not being forced to walk around the city.

Though, Anduin wasn’t entirely benevolent, and not a second later had to hold back another snort as Xae’lorin’s posture drooped when he replied, “Wonderful! I’m sure Sanguinar here wouldn’t mind accompanying you there and showing you about for a moment while I gather my circle. Right, Valeera?” 

“Of course, my king,” she bowed in that way she liked to which only he knew was a joke. “Come along, Magister, there’s a big room full of paper awaiting your diligent inspection.”

Xae’lorin bowed once more to Anduin, with a dubious glare at Valeera, and followed her out of the room toward the library. Anduin, to his credit, managed not to laugh even a little bit.

Heading back to his room, he realized about halfway there that, more than likely, Lilian and Clari would be gone when he returned, but figured he’d have a few minutes at least to find them with how alike a cat with cream Valeera had seemed while irritating the magister. When he arrived, however, he was surprised to see Lilian and Clari sitting at the table he often took meals at. They both looked up when he entered, then exchanged a glance before motioning to his usual seat.

“Please sit,” Lilian said, and he felt oddly like he was being Sat Down, despite the fact that he’d never actually done anything that warranted that from any of the various parental figures he’d had over the years.

“Why do I feel vaguely like I’m in trouble?” he asked sheepishly, sitting where she’d indicated. 

Clari snorted, “Nothing like that, my King, simply a matter of substantial importance.” 

“Ah, right,” he looked between them, but they didn’t speak. “Well? What is it?”

“First,  _ I  _ didn’t say you weren’t in trouble. Second, I’ll let Fuchs take the reins on this, I think. She’s the one that’s better with words.”

Clari sighed and shot a small glare at Lilian. “Don’t forget I’m also the one that’s better with poison’s  _ Voss _ ,” she growled, but Lilian only patted her shoulder, seeming no more afraid of her than one would be a hissing kitten. “Anyhow, we need to talk to you about your relationship with Shaw.”

Anduin’s brows furrowed, “What business is it of yours? And there isn’t anything between us anyhow.”

“That’s not what the nurses at the infirmary are whispering. Quite hot gossip, really, the High King came in to see his spymaster and wasn’t seen leaving until the next morning. Now, the High Priestess, Taela, she’s trying to keep her workers quiet but there’s only so much you can do — nothing travels faster than bad news, as they say,” Lilian smirked at him.

“Wait,  _ bad _ news?” Anduin shook his head, “How on Azeroth is this bad news? I get it might interest people but…”

“You see, people are questioning the future of the Wrynn line, and wondering also who the real power behind the throne is.” Clari looked a little apologetic, “You being gay might have been passable if you were engaged to Tess, but seeing as you went to rather extraneous effort to nullify what was essentially a public betrothal, and now are thought to be sleeping with your spymaster it… well, it doesn’t look great to be honest. Nothing a little work on my part can’t nullify, I promise, I was always good at whisper campaigns.”

Lilian snorted, “Whisper campaigns only work if you have a decent rumor to spread, Clar, what the hell are you gonna use to oppose  _ that _ ?”

“SIimple,” Clari said with a confident and fiery gleam in her eyes, “That the Ridgewells are vying for power by using rumors to destabilize the people’s confidence in the monarchy, and also by insinuating that the attempt to discredit Shaw is an attempt to cause chaos by the Defias. Given how well known he is for having taken down Edwin, it seems reasonable that the Brotherhood might go about sowing rumors that could get him fired. The hope is that doing so will implicate the Ridgewells with the Brotherhood and draw heat off the primary rumor. It will also remind people of Shaw’s age, and hopefully change their mind on the nature of you staying in his room.”

Anduin raised an eyebrow even as he blushed at her essentially calling him out for liking older men, “You came up with all that just on the spot?”

“Oh hardly, I’ve been thinking it over for the last 15 minutes,” she waved him off, as if that made it less impressive.

“Like Sanguinar said,” Lilian stage whispered to him conspiratorially, “Only humble rogue in existence.”

“Stop it,” Clari rolled her eyes, but a pleased smile pulled at her mouth as well. “Anyway, I’ll take care of it this time but please, my king, you need to be careful. After the botched betrothal your reputation is more important than ever, and the nobility will use any excuse they can to defame you. However, that isn’t the only thing we wanted to talk about.”

“No, it isn’t. We’ve also managed to find good evidence on the new cook and we are fairly certain he’s the one we’re looking for. I overheard him speaking to someone in Gutterspeak through a spell stone that he called ‘Nara’ which is presumably Le _ nara _ . He had a note amongst his things in Keira’s hand which she wrote to the sous chef that explained the tea that Nathanos was drinking would be sent to this room, meaning he knew poisoning the tea would affect you somehow. We also found the dusty remains of some form of plant in the bottom of his drawers. I would have to test the dust, but I’m confident it's a poisonous weed called Blushervine that has been known to cause internal bleeding and body decay in Undead as well as organ failure and heart attacks in the living,” Lilian explained with the speed of a prize racehorse.

“Right…” Anduin trailed off, trying to mentally catch up, “So…?”

“Guy’s bad, friends with Lenara so probably a high rank, knew the tea was for you, poisoned it with some crazy poison that hurts both Humans and Undead,” Clary summarized, though to Anduin it felt a bit more like translating.

“Thanks, Clari. Okay, now that we have evidence it would probably be best to arrest him and bring him down to the dungeons immediately. I’ll order the arrest with the guard captain, Clari could you get word to Renzik to post SI:7 near the cell secretly so that no one else knows they’re there? If someone tries to break him out when we’re away I need them to be surprised by what they find.” Anduin paused, then remembered he hadn’t mentioned Silvermoon to them yet, “Oh, and we’re going to be making a trip to Silvermoon for diplomatic reasons but also a lot of parties. Pack formal things, please,” he gave a stern glance at Lilian. “When Valeera arrives-”

“What about me?” She asked, waltzing in from his office doorway.

“You’re in a good mood,” Lilian noted, and Valeera grinned at her without saying anything.

“I was just telling Clari and Lilian about our trip to Silvermoon,” Anduin explained, turning back to the two woman sitting across from him, “As I was about to say, we need to discuss how to go about explaining our absence with the House all up in a tizzy and the city paranoid about Defias. I am honestly terrible at excuses and even worse with cover-ups so if either of you have any ideas I’d welcome them.” 

Lilian huffed a noise that seemed a marriage of a snort and a grunt, “Yeah, I got one: Don’t go.”

“That isn’t an option. The Regent Lord-”

“Is a puffed up diplomat more often than a reasonable man, in my experience. Listen, fuck Lor’themar, you have more pressing matters with Westfall and the Defias right now; there isn’t time to waste with Blood Elf political bullshit and maneuvering,” Lilian interrupted, oddly stern expression on her face.

“Much as I hate it, Voss isn’t wrong. I won’t deny that what Theron mentioned seems important, and you would have a powerful ally if you could gain his aid, but…” Valeera’s face pinched, “Sin’dorei aren’t exactly known for concise negotiations, if I remember correctly it was one of the plethora of things Hellscream found ‘superfluous and inefficient’ about our culture. So… just keep in mind that for all the Regent Lord might wish to have a quick discussion about allegiances and work things out efficiently, like a soldier might, he’ll be tied up with the political and social necessity to show you off to every major noble house, which will involve much more dining and parties and much less war table discussion than we probably have time for.”

“Okay wait, hold up a moment,” Clari waved her hand in front of her quickly, “Sorry just… did Garrosh Hellscream really use the word ‘superfluous’?”

“He might have said ‘fancy’ or perhaps ‘stupid’ instead, I wasn’t paying that much attention.”

Clari hummed an assent and nodded, “Anyway, more to the point, do you really think it’s wise to turn down an invitation from Silvermoon?” 

“That’s the rub,” Anduin said, “It wasn’t just an offer of alliance, it was also a begging of aid, though fairly well veiled. Lor’themar is afraid, for many reasons, that once — if not while — Sylvanas takes over fully in the southern Eastern Kingdoms, she’ll reestablish herself in Tirisfal and march north to Silvermoon. He’s right to be afraid, too. If she manages to take out Stormwind, she’s got Ironforge’s supply routes and trading partners on hold. With an army that doesn’t need sleep or food, she could very easily just starve them out, and that would give her complete control of nearly the entire continent save the parts we, ourselves, don’t even control. Add that onto the threat she’s already placing on Lor’themar’s doorstep, and the necessity of this alliance comes into focus. It… if we don’t ally with Silvermoon and find ways to combat her we might very well all be doomed.”

“If it’s that severe, my king, why don’t you bring it to the Alliance leadership? Or even the Horde Council?” 

Lilian shook her head, “Because we can’t  _ really _ prove it. We can imply it, we can find evidence that vaguely suggests Sylvanas is involved, but other than the word of a known traitor who the Horde wants nothing to do with and the Alliance wouldn't trust to tie his own shoes, we have literally nothing substantial, nor the time to deliberate with them and gain their trust. If we are going to act, it’s got to be now.”

“Yes, which is why we need Silvermoon’s aid,” Anduin added, making Lilian grimace.

“I still disagree, we don’t have time for their politics.”

“I…” but Anduin trailed off, unsure what to say. She was right, but so was he. They needed to gain Silvermoon’s friendship, but they didn’t have time for the Sin’dorei method of doing so. Damn but he wished Velen were here, he always had some wisdom to share in situations like this.

“What… about a compromise?” Clari asked slowly, a slightly distant glaze to her eyes like she was thinking, deeply, about many things at once. Her eyes focused suddenly, and she smiled, “A man is loudly and publicly arrested in the castle this evening, under charges of attempted assassination and collusion with the Defias Brotherhood. Fearing for the King’s safety, he is moved out of the castle to a safe location while the SI:7 investigate the attempt and suss out any other potential Brotherhood connections. Meanwhile, the House of Lords are put on lockdown and asked to remain in their homes for their safety until the investigation has been completed, and we increase patrols around their homes for their safety. During this time, you’ll be able to go to Silvermoon and negotiate with the Regent Lord and I can stay here and work recon with Renzik, and work on my various whisper campaigns.”

Anduin felt a grin slowly spread on his face, “That might just work.”

“And then if Sylvanas sends people after you it will, hopefully, be to one of the various royal safehouses that we subtly leak the locations of to her people, I’m thinking in Alterac or somewhere else inconvenient for her.”

“I ever told you you’re brilliant, Fuchs?” Lilian said, looking at her with a strange expression.

“Yes, but it doesn’t hurt to hear it again,” Clari beamed at her and Lilian smiled a soft little smile that made Anduin question, not for the first time, what their history was. 

“Well, supposing your brilliant plan works, Fuchs, we still have a lot to do tonight before we go.” Valeera said, “I’ll go meet with Renzik and work out how to cover the castle and the city while we’re out, as well as a secret additional patrol for the prisoner, which I’m assuming you wanted Anduin?”

“Yes, that’s what I had discussed with these two before you got here.”

“Good. I’ll get that worked out, and mention the idea of sowing false safehouse locations to him so he can start to germinate how to go about it. He’s brilliant if you give him a little time to work through ideas, so hopefully Fuchs and he can come up with something tomorrow morning. Meanwhile, Anduin you’ll need to cover the arrest, and Fuchs you need to make the cause of it as loud as possible without being obvious about it, but I’m sure you’re more than capable. Voss, please try to find something decent to wear in Silvermoon.”

“I don’t take orders from you, Sanguinar,” Lilian grumbled.

Anduin sighed, giving her an apologetic smile, “Lilian, please find something to wear to a Sin’dorei high society gala that won’t get us kicked out immediately and thus ruin our chances at making nice with the nobility.” 

She rolled her eyes, “Fine, but only because you asked nicely and I know how finicky Elves are about clothes. If something bad happened to you while I was standing outside because my clothes were not fancy enough or whatever Nathanos would put an arrow in my head, and I rather like unliving, thank you very much.”

“Well, now that  _ that’s _ settled, let’s get moving people!” Valeera clapped loudly and shooed them up from the table before taking her leave.

As Anduin headed for the door, Clari snorted, “I haven’t seen her like that since she was actually running shit back during the Legion invasion, brings back memories.”

“Yeah,  _ memories _ … I forgot what a bossy bitch she could be,” Lilian grumbled, but he noted she didn’t really seem bitter about it. 

“Alright, Clari and I will head off to make the arrest now, good luck with clothes Lilian.”

“Is that your way of saying I’m gonna need it?” 

Anduin gave her a coy smile, “That’s for me to know and you to wonder.”

“Oi fuck off, I get the message, I dress like crap,” she crossed her arms and huffed.

“Dangerous crap, though,” Clari amended, and Lilian seemed to lighten up a hair at that. “Anyway, we should probably all be heading out after dinner, so try to be as quick as possible.”

Lilian mock-saluted them and departed through the office. Anduin turned to Clari with a nervous smile, “Ready?”

“O’ course, m’ liege,” she answered in her old Gilnean accent, curtseying politely. 

Anduin snorted, “I like the real you better.”

Clari just lightly punched his shoulder, “Me too, but this is for all of our benefit so suck it up.”

They turned toward the door and headed out to their tasks. 

  
  


By the time Anduin returned to his room to eat dinner and pack it was nearly half-past six, and he felt like someone had taken a hot fire poker to his skull. Arresting the man in and of itself hadn’t been a challenge, but the incessant protest from the guard captain that  _ he should have been made aware of the situation  _ and  _ why was the guard not permitted to do their duty to the crown _ and  _ who all did the investigation fall to if not the guard and could they be trusted  _ had Anduin’s head aching. Having finally managed to drag himself away and assuage the man’s concerns, he had never been more grateful for the privacy of his chambers.

Or rather, would have felt thus if, upon entering, he wasn’t suddenly reminded that he had not only invited a guest, but also rather rudely stood him up.

“Before you apologize, know that I’m sure it was something important,” Shaw said, looking up at him as he entered, but the tiredness in his eyes and stoop to his shoulders revealed the truth — Shaw was sorely disappointed at Anduin’s tardiness and had probably been just about to retreat back to his own chambers.

Anduin pulled the tie from his hair and ran a hand through it, “I’m really sorry Mathias, I didn’t mean to make you wait and I certainly didn’t mean to do so without telling you I would be longer than expected. There was-”

“As I said, I’m sure it was something significant, my liege,” Shaw gave a tense smile and Anduin’s heart ached. 

“Yes, it was. Let me call for dinner, hopefully it won’t take too long,” Anduin turned to the door and poked his head out, asking quickly for dinner to be brought up for the two of them, then went to sit next to him. “Mathias…”

Shaw reached out and placed his hand over Anduin’s forearm where it rested on the table, “Please don’t worry about it, Anduin, you have much more significant things to fret over than my feelings.”

“Will you at least admit that I hurt you, so that I can respond to it properly?” Anduin asked and Mathias looked away. Anduin sighed, “We caught the guy who poisoned Nathanos, that’s what I was taking care of. I should have remembered I was dining with you and told you I would be longer than expected, I’m sorry. I… just please let me decide what warrants my attention even when that decision includes your feelings.”

Green eyes met his with a sort of fierce softness that only a man like Mathias Shaw could muster, “I care deeply that I don’t burden you, Anduin, but I also cannot control what worries you. I’m glad we’ve rid ourselves of Sylvanas’s influence in the castle, that puts my mind a little at ease, and… well I’ll admit I am glad to know the man who hurt Nathanos has been locked away. But still, you’re forgiven. More than forgiven, really, given I never held it against you.”

Anduin frowned, “I could tell you were upset when I came in, how can you say there’s nothing to forgive?”

“That’s different, I was never angry with you, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to be angry with you. Disappointed at Fate’s hand in the evening? Certainly. But unless you speak on her behalf I have no need of apology from you,” Shaw smiled, a soft, delicate thing that Anduin had never seen before and that made his heart stutter in his chest.

Slowly, as if giving him time to pull his hand away, Shaw trailed his own hand down to meet Anduin’s and then lifted it to his mouth, placing a light kiss on the delicate bones of Anduin’s knuckles. Heat bloomed along his cheeks as Shaw pulled away, gaze intense.

A knock at the door jolted them both, and Anduin drew his hand away quickly as a kitchen worker entered with their dinner and set it on the table. Once they’d gone again, Anduin relaxed and gave Shaw a smile, “Might I ask what that was for?”

He shrugged, “I just wanted to.” 

“Is that all you want to do?” Anduin teased, but his cheeks heated at the intensity of Shaw’s gaze when he looked up at him.

“No,” he said softly, then returned his eyes to his plate, “You should eat, my liege, you’ve done a lot today.”

Anduin pursed his lips and considered pushing the issue, but realized that Shaw likely wasn’t saying anything because he wasn’t comfortable doing so, and he didn’t want to push that. He turned to his own meal and they ate in comfortable if energized quiet for a time before Anduin couldn’t quite take it any longer and had to voice the question coursing through his mind, “I’m sorry, Mathias, I… was I getting the signals wrong between you and Nathanos?”

That caused him pause and he took a moment to simply chew before sighing, “No, you weren’t. Not that we’re anything officially, but he means something to me and I was flirting with him seriously.”

“And yet…”

“And yet I was flirting with you just now?” Shaw loosed a self-deprecating chuckle, “Yes, I can see how you might be confused. You have to understand, Anduin, you’re… magnetic, electric. You have an orbit, a certain gravity that people are drawn into when they’re around you that makes them care about you. Look at Voss — I’m quite sure she’d be upset if you died or were harmed, and she barely knows you, barely has cause to care besides. And yet, every person who knows you, loves you. Deeply. I’m afraid I’m not as immune as I had thought myself.”

“‘Had thought yourself?’ How long has this been on your mind?” Anduin asked, leaning forward a hair and trying to ignore the way the man’s confession made his stomach flip.

“Honestly? Since I was returned from Detheroc’s grasp during the Legion invasion, though it started back when I got the report from Nightwind about your actions in Pandaria,” Shaw confessed, looking ashamed. “You were barely a man and your father would have flayed me alive and fed me to the hounds but, well, that didn’t make it lessen any.”

Anduin snorted, “I’m a little surprised you could develop a crush on someone with such terrible hair, for a man with such dignified style.”

Shaw gave him a sly smile, “It was rather terrible at the time, but I guess that’s just another testament to your beauty. And, well, love makes fools of us all, I suppose.”

Unsure what to say to that, unsure whether those words were what he thought they might be, Anduin simply took Shaw’s hand and smiled at him, as sweetly as he could, “Mathias…”

“I’m sorry Anduin,” Shaw drew his hand away, “I can’t right now. Maybe not ever. You are the sun, you have to understand, and if I get too close I’m afraid I’ll burn up into cinders.”

“I understand,” Anduin replied, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “I’m very glad you're here now, Mathias. I’m glad you came back to me.”

“As am I,” he smiled at him softly, if not a touch sadly, “Now, tell me about how you came to arrest this man today.”

And so Anduin launched into the tale, sparing only the details regarding rumors about their relationship that Clari had mentioned, and when he was through their plates were empty.

“So you’ll be heading off to Silvermoon then?” Shaw looked a little disappointed.

“Yes, we decided it was necessary. If I had any way of bringing you I would, but as it is,” Anduin gave him an apologetic smile, “It would be best for you to stay here and hold down the fort with Clari. I don’t want to return you to your duties yet, but if they need your mind to pick they’ll have that resource. Plus, I want someone here if Nathanos wakes up while we’re away.”

“Do you have a means of warning me when he’s up?” he asked, a little hopeful light dancing in his eyes.

Anduin pulled out the sending stone amulet that paired with the one he’d left on Nathanos and handed it over to Shaw, “If we’re lucky, he’ll notice I left him a way to tell us he’s up. If not, just wait for Meadowsong to start screaming and take that as your cue. Either way, I think you could both use a reunion, after everything.”

“Thank you,” he replied, taking the amulet and looking at it carefully, “I’ll make sure he’s well taken care of and rests adequately. Is Devastation coming with you?”

Anduin shook his head, “She’s been sleeping over his plot since a few hours after we buried him. I’ve never seen her so forlorn. Maybe if you could go out and bring her food every once in a while that might be good, I’m honestly not sure how much or how often plaguehounds need to eat.”

“I’ll take care of her,” he tucked the amulet away, “And Nathanos, when he wakes up. Is there anything else you wanted to discuss before you head off? I should probably let you pack.”

“Well, I did want to give you this as well,” Anduin placed a second sending stone on the table. “Please let me know when Nathanos wakes. I… I’m very worried about him and it would put my mind at ease to know you’ll inform me when he is up and about again.”

“Of course, Anduin. I’ll let you know the minute I know he’s woken up,” Shaw pocketed that stone as well, and stood from the table. “As I said, I should let you pack. Good evening, my liege.”

“One other thing?” Anduin jumped out of his chair and approached Shaw.

“Yes?” he turned, looking down at him with a raised brow.

“Just…” Anduin closed his eyes for a moment, steeling himself, then levered up on his toes and pressed a kiss to Shaw’s cheek, “Rest while I’m away. Please.”

For a moment, it seemed like Shaw had been paralyzed, but quickly seemed to recover, blinking a few times rapidly and staring at him with a dangerous combination of restrained want and caution. He took Anduin’s face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together, eyes closed, “I’ll take care of myself, I promise. Just for you.” 

And even though Anduin wanted nothing more in that moment than to kiss him, he knew he was already pushing farther than the man was entirely comfortable with. “Thank you,” he whispered into the bare inches between their mouths and felt Shaw’s hands shake just the tiniest bit.

Shaw pulled back an inch, then tilted his face up just enough to plant a soft kiss on his forehead. “Pack, Anduin, you have a long few days ahead of you and how you look will be most significant.” 

“Goodnight, Mathias.”

“Come back to me, Anduin. Else I’ll have you raised just so I can kill you myself for being careless,” and though Anduin knew it was mostly a joke, he could feel the concern hiding beneath the words.   
  


Anduin hugged himself to Shaw’s chest, “I’ll be on my best behaviour. I promise.”

Shaw held him, briefly, then all too soon he was pulling away and heading out of the room, leaving Anduin alone to gather what he would need in Silvermoon. He grabbed an overnight bag and began carefully stowing away a small menagerie of fine clothes, all with hidden compartments for the throwing knives Valeera had instructed him to use to deftly. He wished briefly he had something of Nathanos’s to pack just to comfort himself, but shook off the thought.

He would go to Silvermoon, and he would come home, and when he did he would see him again. And this time, he’d tell him how he felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally hoping for this and the next chapter to be all one, but it didn't end up that way and I put way too many conversations in here lmao. Thanks again to everyone who said hi on the little update chapter, your comments fueled me like nothing else! I promise things are going to get happier with the ships, but honestly I'm sinking deeper and deeper into slow burn territory and it might be a while before Anduin ends up with either of the boys.
> 
> Given my general nerdiness, the cipher actually kinda works. For example, the sentence "Earlier today, I heard shipments with perhaps not arrive from Stormwind or Ironforge until tomorrow evening." would read "I will arrive today or tomorrow" in cipher. I'm a geek, I'm sorry, I just had to share.
> 
> Also, I took off the chapter cap because although I know the trajectory of the whole story now, I'm realizing the number of chapters that will take might not end up being what I expect. 
> 
> In case anyone missed it/lost the link, you can find the playlist[ here ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/52phk9V7mbNvo22MqHRHHQ?si=btNz28O9TcG2stTSlTAdng), which I've updated for this and the next two chapters. Love you all ❤❤❤


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